Struggling with Christianity
Q: I don’t really know how to say this without sounding like I’m trying to be negative to Christianity, because I’m genuinely not. I think I just don’t know if I believe anymore.
I was agnostic from the age of 13–29 before I started walking with Christ 3 years ago. I truly wanted to know God & experience the peace & love I heard everyone talk about especially after all the abuse I’ve experienced all my life. But for the past 6 months the questions that kept me agnostic for so long have started coming back.
-Why are there passages in the Bible that seem contradictory?
-If God already knows every choice I’ll ever make and how my life will end, how do I truly have free will? If my entire future is already known by God, how is it not already determined?
-If God knew Adam and Eve would eat from the forbidden tree, why put it there?
-How can an all-loving, all-powerful God watch innocent people suffer in horrific ways when He has the power to stop it? How is that fair to innocent people. It’s like he knew some would suffer & said “it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make”. I struggle to understand how that is loving or fair. That’s not the kind of God I would want to follow.
-If God is the one who defines good and evil, what makes God good? Just simply because he said so?
-What happens to someone who genuinely searches for God but simply can’t convince themselves He’s real? Why would they deserve eternal punishment simply because they weren’t convinced or believed differently?
-Why do Christians call certain things sinful when the Bible doesn’t clearly say they are? How do we know what actually comes from God versus Christian tradition or interpretation, especially when Christians reading the same Bible and following the same Holy Spirit can believe completely different things?
Part of me still wants God to be real. Part of me still wants Christianity to make sense. But I don’t know how to force myself to believe something just because I desperately want it to be true & I’m getting tired of feeling confused & not knowing what to do.
So I’m struggled with these questions. I want to come out the other side still believing.
What made you stay? Not what made you feel Christianity was true. What actually convinced you?
A: God has given us proof in natural and spiritual ways that He exists and is the true and living God.
I also recommend these free videos that go over God, Jesus and Christianity. These examine and show proof, and will solidify your faith.
This explains Why Christianity. And, you can get a firm understanding of the Gospel here (make sure this is what you recieved when you turned to Christ. False Gospels dont save. So be sure).
Next, know "every believer has to start somewhere". But we dont go along of our own accord, since our hearts are decietful and we are sinners who are easily led astray when we try to do things on our own. Solo Christianity is idolatry, Scripture is clear on what a believers life looks like & in pursuit of Christlikeness.
We dont know everything (and takes a lifetime to understand all of Scripture) but we can know the basics early on and your church should be educating you well in that. When you go to a church you should first be meeting the pastor "to get plugged in", to ask about Christianity, or share your testimony in preparation for baptism. And to go through new believers discipleship class for those basics. As well as be guided to a Sunday School too. Then before you officially become a member they usually take you through members class to explain "about church", & of your role, responsibility and accountability to it and the Shepherds there. Christianity and Church is not about a 1 hour worship service. It is your new community, is your spiritual family and the center of your Christian life. The Shepherds there are responsible to God to guide you into holy living, into godliness, and maturity in the Faith.
The Qs you asked & have get answered there, but also a good study Bible (Macarthur's Study Bible; the best) can help, because you also should be reading the Scriptures every day. It's how God reveals himself to us, to know Him more, and also is our guide into Holy living (which the Holy Spirit illuminates to us). So you need to both be in church, actively getting discipled, asking questions, learning, and reading daily at home too. If you have born again godly parents, grandparents or family (whom you know are pursuing Holy living by the fruit of their lives) you can also ask them. Your Sunday School teacher too. And resources like GotQuestions.org (has over 10k answers provided) within biblical orthodoxy to help. That is also in the Christian Resources link in the Bible Study area. 😉😊
Here's some answers to your Qs...
1. -Why are there passages in the Bible that seem contradictory?
☆ There are no contradictions, only difficulties, bcuz one has not studied Scripture or hasn't got that far along yet. It is why we study and ask questions.
2.-If God already knows every choice I’ll ever make and how my life will end, how do I truly have free will? If my entire future is already known by God, how is it not already determined?
☆We are fallen people, those in Christ are made new by God (like a reset to our original Edenic design), those in righteousness desire to follow God's will not our old sinful one. We desire to align to God's will. Those not saved are in rebellious nature and in sin pursue to not be submitted to God. God knew everything before time & anything was created. He is siverign and His will will prevail, his plan to redeem man will be accomplished, everyone in the Lambs book of life will be saved & was bought and paid for by Christ. God being in control while we make our choices (in righteousness or sin) is known by Him and those saved and pursuing God's will will be rewarded as good and faithful servants and children of God in eternity (both at the Bema seat and in positions and eternity)
3.-If God knew Adam and Eve would eat from the forbidden tree, why put it there?
☆ Because he wanted mankind to choose to trust Him. 2. But also because He knew they would fall (by own desires that would be sinful but also be decieved by Satan). God knew this before creating humanity, and had in eternity past already planned for mans salvation. These human lives are temporary and in eternity we will recueve eternal ones (the saved folk will get sin free ones). 3. God allowed this to show also who He is. Prior to the Fall, [the angels even didnt know] the created beings that serve Him [Humans included] would never know all the holy attributes of God if he didnt allow their sin to happen. They were not made to be robots or only servants as the angels were. Because of his allowing this - God in his love revealed much more about himself to us [esp to humans whom He created to have eternal fellowship with and to know Him closely] than we would know otherwise. Love, forgiveness, grace, mercy, justice, patience etc. And when we are born again in Christ, we have the Fruit of the Spirit (the communicable attributes of God) that were lost at man's fall but also have these (newly revealed) attributes too. And we show to the lost world as we reflect and radiate Christ from within that outwardly shows/shines forth from us.
4.-How can an all-loving, all-powerful God watch innocent people suffer in horrific ways when He has the power to stop it? How is that fair to innocent people. It’s like he knew some would suffer & said “it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make”. I struggle to understand how that is loving or fair. That’s not the kind of God I would want to follow.
☆No one is innocent apart from God and Christ. Only God is good. That is a core truth revealed in the Gospel. It causes every humans mouth to close and for all to stand guilty before this Holy God. All sin as all came through Adam [except Christ -who came from Heaven). So there are no innocent people who suffer [except Christ]. Yes as noted sinful people follow their sin nature (as they are evil) so they do evil deeds in sin that harm others. And as the Scriptures & Gospel reveal God will punish all sinners. Scripture tells us "The wages if sin is death - but the free gift of God is in Christ Jesus". Either the persin dies in their sins and pays that debt for all eternity, or Jesus pays our debt when we surrender to God & obey the Gospel. Sin will be dealt with. God is patient towards us (even tho, and even while we are/were his enemies). Even in OT we see the nations God had Israel destroy, as He gave them that land. They were dealt with justly; God gave them 400 years to repent and the pagan nations never did. Same with the Flood. The people were only always evil and made their offspring twice the sins of Hell they themselves were. Doing more evil than their forefathers. In truth, if God was just but not patient, the 1st time any human sinned theyd be judged by instant death. All sin is a crime chiefly against God himself, being made in His image, if we sin it is an assault on His Holy perfect Character. Sin is serious and it has serious consequences.
That is a loving and good God. He punishes justly, righteously, not in a sinful way like fallen humans who want others punished but not they themself; as if judging others in self righteousness- in sin. Any other way is like judging God as if better than him, when He is Otherly and nothing like fallen man. He is infinitely higher & actually perfect.
5.-If God is the one who defines good and evil, what makes God good? Just simply because he said so?
☆God himself is perfect. He is the standard he holds mankind (made in His image) to. Noted and explained already. He is our Creator. He is the standard. And the one He will hold us accountable to.
6.-What happens to someone who genuinely searches for God but simply can’t convince themselves He’s real? Why would they deserve eternal punishment simply because they weren’t convinced or believed differently?
☆Noted already, all are already hellbound. They know. As noted in "4 ways God reveals Himself". Any other belief is idolatry and sin against God. Theyre in rebellion in sin nature thats why they dont come to him. Theyre dead in sin. The dead cannot do anything. They cant search for God, they have no desire to him. Only the One with the power to bring them to life can do that. God draws men to himself who will be saved. It's amazing He even decided to save anyone - as none deserve it. That's amazing offer. And its why when we hear the Gospel we must obey it (be reconciled to God and made right with Him by the only way he made; Jesus). God went to great lengths at great expense (His Sin) and Jesus willingness to do that [live a perfect life, take our sin on the cross, God's wrath, and died in our place]. God will not look favorably to anyone who trampled in Christ in rejection of that marvelous precious gift.
If God is going to save someone, he will draw them, plant the seed, water it and bring it to harvest. He uses Christians to do that and also circumstances, suffering and etc. But it is the Gospel that has the power to save. Even though God is doing that conversion.
7.-Why do Christians call certain things sinful when the Bible doesn’t clearly say they are? How do we know what actually comes from God versus Christian tradition or interpretation, especially when Christians reading the same Bible and following the same Faith can believe completely different things?
☆Not everyone follows the true Faith, many are pretenders. Anyone teaching falsely is not proclaiming the truth.
God has been clear on what is sin. I've noted about it already. Anything that isnt moral perfection is sin. The 10 Commandments show some if it. But sin is deviation from Holy perfection of righteousness. As noted we were created in God's image (believers are given the communicable attributes of God) also shown in the Fruit of the Spirit. These are all revealed in all 66 books of Scripture, and sin is definitely clearly called out there too, all thoughout. What's Holy is Holy & God calls us to be holy and set apart.
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Next, I want to clarify if you came to Christ for the wrong reasons, you need to correct that and embrace/obey the true Gospel. Christianity doesnt make temporal life here better. Not in the way false gospels claim. It is spiritual blessings with our eyes focused on eternal [and eternity with Christ]. Our best life is in eternity. We are still living in, & walking through, this corrupted sin stained fallen world full of suffering. However God is with believers. He loves them and has their best for them, to sanctify them; making them more Christlike & more trusting and reliant on God - no matter what comes our way. The Father loves us and is in control. Jesus is with us, the Holy Spirit in us, and help us think righteously, biblically in how we respond when things happen, even if it is persecution.
The resources below will go into that much more, but you can save & read this free book about the false gospel proclaimed today by many (& compare to the biblically true Gospel) so you dont fall prey to the false one. Deception can be subtle twisting if truth and Satan makes things sound plausable, he's not changed his tactics since Eden.
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A lot of people esp those not Christian, even new and weak believers need someone to help inform them. For Christians, we have been given spiritual life, with eyes to see, ears that hear and the indwelling Holy Spirit who teaches and guides us in Scripture & its knowledge (as well as grows us righteousness by the Fruit of the Spirit). New and all believers go to church [the community of God] where God has placed gifted pastors & teachers to shepherd us into the truths of Scripture more deeply (as their life is devoted to studying it). At our local Bible focused church we are discipled in the basics if the Faith, a deeper understsndung of Scripture, the Doctrines and theology it teaches, and guide us unto holy living. We eat of that feast every week to help us grow and apply it to our lives in the week (and beyond). For the unsaved all Scripture offers is the Gospel (and warning of coming Judgment if they reject the Gospel of Christ).
You can find a church here, get helps for studying Scripture and other related resources for Christians. It also has faq that seekers & believers ask so more of your Qs can be answered. It is a Christian Resources treasure. But it is no substitute for your own responsibility to read & study Scripture and be shepherded deeper in the Faith at church. It is supplemental to it as helps. You'll mature in the Faith and Word in time, by the active pursuit of it.
What have you been doing for 3 years? Were you in a church till 13. If you haven't been in a Bible focused church, nor regularly [if at all] nor regularly [if at all] in Sunday school (with teachers you can ask questions of), haven't even sought out the pastor or leaders there to get counsel and understand Christianity & ask these Qs - that is a failing in your part. Dont use that as an excuse to run away (from Christianity), nor remain in ignorance. If you went to Church regularly, heard the sermons and went to Sunday School and other Bible studies you probably would have learned this stuff, or asked, (even if they didnt have a discipleship or new believers class [though true Churches do]). If you grew up in or went to a False church then you wouldnt have learned these things because they do not teach the truth. However you couldve changed churches and sought pastoral guidance (to be guided to classes to help you where you were spiritually at at the time) to help educate you and get you on the path of growth in the Word and Faith.
And because of false churches & teachings you do have to be careful not to search for answers online nor in so called Christian groups because decievers (including cultists & othets in false churches are everywhere). Only trust those within "biblical orthodoxy" [those who teach the authoritative Word of God only >>>& in truth] from reputable churches. That should start at your Bible church tho. Those churches put a truth hedge around you to guide you in truth (keeping you safely within biblical orthodoxy). The resource above will guide you to those true churches, explain the things you should ask the church leaders [when searching for a biblical church], so you are not decieved by the false churches out there. The churches noted in the directory are reputable, you can just pick one nearby and attend...but you could always (for testing & confidence building) ask the Qs noted there to make sure. Even after going there. False teaching creeps into churches sometimes if they embrace modern stuff vs holding fast to Biblical truth. Go to one that holds fast to the Essentials of the Faith, proclaims the True Gospel (according to Scripture) and is holding to the Biblical worldview (not the views society or the world have). The latter are things you'll learn more about in time.
What's said here can help you solidify your faith and guide you towards maturity as you start this journey. 🙂✝️🌟
God bless
*bookmark this page, & set a calendar alert or daily alarm to go through this material.
