Ministering to a friend on Concubines/OT

OT, Concubines, & the righteous of God ?

Q: In discussing Christianity with a friend, I was asked "when did concubines stop, why, and where did it change to one wife..was this old testament vs new testament. Was marriage viewed differently in the old testament than the new testament?"

See this is not something I ever thought on. I did tell my friend "I would ask and try to search the Scriptures... but if she has a conviction about anything to pray and read her Bible to see what she can come up with."

I then searched the Scriptures but found nothing as to when concubines ended or the why, or if marriage is viewed differently in the old testament. 

I need Scripture, I need that bc I feel she is struggling with this, and really is seeking answers. She's in a valley in her life ,and her husband has chosen paths that shes trying to believe is okay. She's very aware how I stand on marriage, and she knows im praying for her . Maybe answers from Scripture would help. She believes if she has these answers from Scripture, that her husband will stop the path that he is on.

I have earnestly looked but I have failed in finding Scripture on this & need guidance. 

It also has me 🤔 how could Abraham be right with God then? And I never understood why there was concubines to start with.

A: It sounds like youre in Africa or Arab country? As this isn't a question or struggle folk in the West and most Asian nations deal with. Maybe just among the Mormon cult group here. Tho fornication, origins etc are promiscuous becoming common, it isnt in marriage, unless it is a sinfully open marriage... all unsaved folk pursue sinful desires, (but none *these* arent done by genuine believers). 

Tbh normally this would just be seen as a non Christian attack on God and Scripture, to avoid dealing with their own accountability with God when we are trying to share the Gospel.

If her husband is unsaved, shes unequally yoked, and since he is the husband (head if home) he will fulfill all the sin desires he has [esp lust and sex], especially if the country/culture allows for polygamy. The wife has few to no rights, and has fears of him abandoning her so she may cave to his sin demands. Instead of trusting God. So on this topic, if she goes to a church where the pastor is pursuing a holy life & teaches against this behavior; [sinning against God and his wife in adultery], she can have the pastor run interference for her, to try to man to man prevent him doing such evil against her and God. He might be able to share the Gospel too, which will confront his sins and point to Jesus. Those born again by God are totally transformed and have right desires; pursue holiness. So he will repent of that and apologize to his wife, as well as both praise God for preventing disastrous outcomes; fall out of all the rippling consequences. 

If he proceeds, shes stuck unless he abandons or divorces her. So her goal needs to be right with God [thru Jesus] and live godly before him, ministering, shining through light of Christ. 

As to her question: 

Marriage was the same in OT and NT & beyond among JudeoChristian nations. 

⭐️Was always 1:1 since Eden. 

👉Prescriptive vs descriptive.

Just cuz Scripture describes sinful men marrying and any adultery or other sins doesnt make it holy living/allowed by God.

Matthew 19:4–6 (also Mark 10:6–9)

"Haven’t you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

👉 Here, Jesus quotes Genesis 1:27 and Genesis 2:24, affirming marriage as a lifelong union created by God.

To your questions and to answer a bit more...

1. Faith. Salvation in OT and NT is the same. Faith in the Messiah. 2. Peoples sin and embracing ungodly cultural ways [esp when there were no Scriptures written back then to guide (& they didnt know much about God like we do today)]... their failuresvin perfect holy living wouldnt erase their salvation. If they lived as righteous people did, then like believers today, they fell into a sin. Like Adam who listened to the sin of his wife, Abraham too (instead of consulting God for clarity). 3. In OT when people married multiple wives thats just historical descriptive info not prescriptively allowing it. Today/Since the Great Commission began, anyone who had followed pagan cultural customs and ways [of idolatrous nations and people], are aware of what the Word/Scriptures says on holy living. And if saved, then they wouldn't divorce the wifes, but only see the 1st wife as wife, and the rest as "sisters" in Christ [never intimate again]. He is responsible to provide and care for them, cuz he put them in that position. Plus it would disgrace her, her family, leave her destitute, divorced, shamed etc, and in OT & early NT cases it could cause international political problems (leading to nations going to war for mistreating a woman a king or elevated elite person has wed). One thing we dont see anymore... is this practice globally. Some might assume it is due to US global influence; it is true their model of republicanism and individual liberty helped accelerate the decline. 

If you're curious on that, read the below from gptchat.... 

Overall there was a interesting historical and cultural shift leading to the decline of dynastic and political marriages.

For most of recorded history, especially in the ancient world through early modern Europe, marriages among the elite — kings, nobles, tribal chiefs — were often political tools. Here’s a breakdown of how that practice evolved and why it faded:

🏺 Old Testament / Ancient World

• In the Ancient Near East, Egypt, Israel, Babylon, and other kingdoms used marriage alliances to seal treaties or ensure peace. 

• Example: Solomon married foreign princesses (1 Kings 11:1–3) to strengthen political ties.

• Egyptian pharaohs sometimes married daughters of foreign rulers, or accepted royal wives from other nations as signs of diplomacy.

• These unions weren’t about love — they were political contracts, often with religious and trade implications.

🏰 Medieval and Early Modern Europe

• The practice became standard policy among monarchies. 

• “The marriage of state” was central to European diplomacy.

• Famous examples: 

• The Habsburgs expanded their empire through marriage alliances (“Let others wage war; you, happy Austria, marry”).

• Henry VIII’s marriage to Catherine of Aragon united England and Spain temporarily.

• Women of royal or noble birth were often used as “diplomatic pawns,” though many wielded considerable influence through these unions.

⚖️ Decline in the 18th–20th Centuries

• Several factors led to the decline of arranged dynastic marriages: 

• Rise of nationalism: Modern states became less dependent on royal family ties to maintain alliances.

• Constitutional monarchies: As kings lost political power, marriages ceased to be instruments of diplomacy.

• Romantic individualism: The Enlightenment and modern ideas about personal choice, love, and freedom made political marriages less acceptable socially.

• Democratization: In Republics like the United States, there was no hereditary nobility — hence no dynastic alliances.

• Globalization and soft diplomacy: Trade, international law, and organizations (UN, NATO, EU) replaced marriage as means of alliance.

🌍 Today

• No nation officially practices marriage diplomacy anymore, at least not in the traditional sense. 

• Even modern monarchies (UK, Japan, Thailand, Spain, etc.) now marry for personal reasons, not state policy.

• Some arranged marriages persist culturally (e.g., South Asia, Middle East), but those are family-level, not state-level.

• You could argue that soft power — like education, investment, and culture — has taken the place of marriage diplomacy.

🇺🇸 U.S. Influence

Yes — the American model of republicanism and individual liberty helped accelerate the decline.

• The U.S. set a powerful example of a state without nobility or dynastic politics.

• As U.S. cultural, economic, and political influence spread, the idea of marriage as personal choice became a global norm.

If a bit more curious...

A bit of a breakdown on what countries and timelines were last marriages and concubines is below.

Who were the last holdouts of these two ancient practices:

• Political or dynastic marriages — unions made for diplomacy, alliance, or power, not love.

• Concubinage — the keeping of secondary wives or consorts, usually by rulers or nobles.

 

🕊️ 1. Political / Dynastic Marriages — The Last Countries

🌍 Europe

• The last major political marriage in Europe was arguably Prince Rainier III of Monaco and Grace Kelly (1956) — though that one was symbolic diplomacy (linking Monaco’s tiny monarchy with Hollywood glamor), not an official state alliance.

• The real end of dynastic state marriages came earlier: 

• The Austro-Hungarian and Russian empires’ royal marriages before World War I (early 1900s) were the last serious ones arranged for political power.

• Example: Archduke Franz Ferdinand was supposed to marry for politics — his “love match” instead caused outrage in court.

• After WWI (1918), most European monarchies lost political power, ending dynastic marriage diplomacy.

🕌 Middle East

• Some royal families continued semi-political marriages into the mid-20th century. 

• The Hashemite royal family (Jordan, Iraq) and others in the Arab world sometimes arranged marriages among noble or ruling families to maintain alliances within the region.

• These were still intra-elite rather than between sovereign nations.

• After the 1950s, even these became mostly personal or ceremonial.

🏯 Asia

• Thailand, as mentioned, ended internal political marriages in the early 20th century.

• Japan ended arranged imperial marriages for politics after WWII: 

• Emperor Hirohito’s marriage (1924) was arranged but not international.

• Emperor Akihito (1959) was the first to marry a commoner (Empress Michiko) — symbolizing the break from dynastic marriage tradition.

• Bhutan and Nepal had arranged royal marriages until the late 1900s, but these were internal, not international.

🕊️ So, the last nation to do actual international political marriages — meaning royal unions as diplomatic alliances — was probably one of the European monarchies before 1918, such as Austria-Hungary, Russia, or Germany.

After that, the practice was dead worldwide as a tool of statecraft.

👑 2. Concubinage — The Last Nations or Dynasties

Concubinage lasted much longer, especially in Asia and parts of the Middle East.

🇨🇳 China

• The Qing dynasty (1644–1912) was the last major state with an official concubine system. 

• The imperial harem (后宫 hougong) was an enormous institution.

• The last emperor, Puyi, still had concubines in the early 20th century, though his title was mostly symbolic by then.

• After the fall of the Qing (1912), the system formally ended, though some warlords and wealthy men maintained it privately into the 1920s–30s.

🇰🇷 Korea

• The Joseon dynasty (1392–1897) allowed royal and noble concubines. 

• The custom disappeared after the monarchy was abolished (1897) and completely vanished under Japanese rule (early 1900s).

🇹🇭 Thailand

• The Thai kings maintained concubines and multiple wives up until King Vajiravudh (Rama VI) in the early 20th century. 

• King Chulalongkorn (Rama V) had numerous wives and consorts.

• Rama VI ended official polygamy and concubinage in the 1920s as part of modernization reforms.

• Since then, Thai kings have been officially monogamous (though rumors of private relationships continued, as in many royal courts).

🕌 Middle East

• Islamic law historically permitted polygyny (up to four wives) but not concubinage in the old sense after abolition of slavery.

• Ottoman sultans had harems until the empire’s end in 1922 — making the Ottoman Empire one of the last official states with concubines.

However... we still have to separate polygamy from "concubinage and political marriage diplomacy", because they’re different practices with different cultural, legal, and religious contexts.

There are pagan places & nations today where polygamy is still legally or socially practiced today. Sadly. 

🧭 1. Distinguishing the Terms

1. Political or Dynastic Marriages

These were marriages arranged between royal or noble families to form political alliances or unite territories.

They ended everywhere by the early 20th century.

The last major examples were in Europe — especially in the Austro-Hungarian, Russian, and German empires before World War I (around 1910–1918).

After monarchies lost power and republics became dominant, political marriages disappeared completely.

No nation practices them today.

🌍 2. Where Polygamy Still Exists Today

🕌 A. Muslim-majority countries (Islamic law)

Islamic law (Sharia) permits a man to have up to four wives, provided he treats them equitably (Qur’an 4:3).

Legal (with regulation):

Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Kuwait, Bahrain, Oman, Yemen, Jordan, Sudan, Nigeria (northern states under Sharia), Pakistan, Afghanistan, Somalia, Mali

Indonesia (permitted under Islamic law but rare in cities)

Malaysia (Muslim men only, with court approval)

Brunei

In these countries, polygamy is legally recognized under personal status laws for Muslims, though it’s increasingly uncommon in urban and educated populations.

🪘 B. Sub-Saharan Africa (customary law)

Many African societies traditionally practiced polygamy long before Islam or colonial influence, [it is a pagan practice, as it goes against God's design]. 

Legal or culturally accepted (under customary law):

South Africa (recognized under Customary Marriages Act)

Nigeria (customary and Islamic law)

Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda, Cameroon, Congo, Zambia, Botswana, Ghana, Senegal, Mali, Burkina Faso

Even where the civil (Western-style) law system recognizes monogamy, customary or tribal law may still permit polygamous unions.

💡 Note: In Africa, these are not usually concubine systems or royal harems — they’re formal marriages within local traditions or religious frameworks.

⛪ C. Mormon (Latter-day Saint) Movements

Mainstream LDS Church (Utah, USA) officially banned polygamy in 1890 and again in 1904, but practiced it openly till then. 

The fundamentalist offshoots (such as FLDS communities) still practice plural marriage, especially in:

Parts of Utah, Arizona, Texas, [and Mexico]. Yes, surprisingly it isnt contained to Utah. 

These are not legally recognized and often prosecuted under bigamy laws.

So: Still practiced by small religious groups, but illegal under U.S. law. They'd get no legal benefits and those additional wives have no legal protections either. 

🕊️ D. Other or Minor Examples

1. India: Muslims may legally have up to four wives under Muslim Personal Law; Hindus and others are bound to monogamy.

Some notes as you likely heard of the past India/Pakistan Hindu & Muslim issues.

●In 1947, British India was divided into India and Pakistan. At that time most Muslims left India to Pakistan, and Hindus moved from Pakistan to India. 

●India and Pakistan have fought several territory wars (from 1947 to 1999). 

 ●India’s legal system and religious law

●India is a secular country, meaning the state is officially neutral toward religion.

For those living there, India has a system of personal law for different religious communities.

○Muslims follow Muslim Personal Law (governing marriage, divorce, inheritance).

○Hindus follow Hindu Personal Law.

○Christians, Parsis, Jews also have their own personal laws.

●Today, Muslims are roughly 14–15% of India’s population (~200 million people).

2. Myanmar (Burma): Some Muslim minorities practice polygyny informally.

3. Papua New Guinea, Solomon Islands, and Pacific tribes: Some communities still follow traditional polygamous customs.

4. Tibet (historically) allowed polyandry (one woman, multiple husbands 😬) in isolated areas — but that’s almost extinct now.

📉 3. Global Trend

With 8 Billion people on earth now, polygamous marriages are still a lot in total worldwide, (even at 2% ) of all marriages today — mostly in West and Central Africa, and parts of the Middle East and South Asia.

The trend is declining everywhere due to:

Urbanization

Women’s education and rights

Economic costs

Legal reforms

Western cultural influence (especially via global media and institutions)

4. Present-day Overview

Polygamy remains lawful or culturally accepted mainly in parts of Africa, the Middle East, and South Asia.

It is illegal in Western countries but survives among small religious or traditional groups.

Globally, only about two percent of marriages are polygamous today, and the trend continues to decline as modernization, education, and women’s rights expand.

Important note. Religion (especially/Mostly from Islam) is the main factor shaping whether polygamy is both legal and socially accepted in nations today.

Let’s go over the countries mentioned and group them by how Muslim-majority they are, from fully or almost entirely Muslim to mixed-religion to mostly non-Muslim but still culturally polygamous.

🕌 A. Fully or Nearly Fully Muslim African Countries

These nations have populations that are more than 85–90% Muslim, and Islamic (Sharia-based) law allows polygamy.

Mauritania – Over 99% Muslim

Mali – Around 95% Muslim

Niger – About 98% Muslim

Senegal – Around 96% Muslim

Gambia – Around 95% Muslim

Guinea – Around 85–90% Muslim

Sudan – Around 97% Muslim

Somalia – Nearly 100% Muslim

Comoros – Nearly 99% Muslim

Djibouti – Around 95% Muslim

In all of these countries, polygamy is legal and religiously sanctioned.

It is quite common, especially in rural and traditional communities.

🌙 B. Majority Muslim but with Significant Christian or Traditional Minorities

These countries have a Muslim population between roughly 50–80%.

Nigeria – About half Muslim (mostly in the north), half Christian (south).

Islamic law in northern states allows polygamy; customary law in southern regions may also permit it.

Chad – Around 55% Muslim, 40% Christian; both customary and Islamic polygamy occur.

Burkina Faso – Roughly 60% Muslim; polygamy legal under both civil and customary law.

Sierra Leone – About 75% Muslim; customary and Islamic marriages often polygamous.

Tanzania – About 35–40% Muslim overall, but coastal and island regions (like Zanzibar) are heavily Muslim; polygamy is recognized under Islamic and customary law.

Cameroon – Around 25–30% Muslim overall, but the north is predominantly Muslim and polygamy is accepted there.

⛪ C. Mixed or Mostly Non-Muslim Countries with Customary Polygamy

These nations are mainly Christian or follow local traditional religions, but customary law still permits polygamous unions.

Kenya – Mostly Christian (about 80%), but polygamy is recognized under customary law for any ethnic group.

Uganda – Around 85% Christian; polygamy allowed under customary or Islamic law.

Ghana – About 70% Christian, 20% Muslim; customary marriages can be polygamous.

Zambia – Largely Christian, but traditional polygamy still practiced in rural areas.

Botswana – Predominantly Christian; customary polygamy still recognized.

Congo (both Republic and D.R.C.) – Majority Christian; customary law allows multiple wives.

South Africa – Around 80% Christian; polygamy legally recognized under the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act (1998), mainly among Zulu and other traditional groups.

🌍 Summary 

Fully or near-fully Muslim countries in Africa: Mauritania, Mali, Niger, Senegal, Gambia, Guinea, Sudan, Somalia, Comoros, Djibouti.

Majority Muslim but mixed: Nigeria (north), Chad, Burkina Faso, Sierra Leone, Tanzania (coast), Cameroon (north).

Mostly non-Muslim but customary polygamy allowed: Kenya, Uganda, Ghana, Zambia, Botswana, Congo, South Africa.

Muslims in EU: 

You're probably saying, but theyve invaded the west and brought that culture here too [vs assimilating], & 🤔 wondering about all the mass inflow of Islamic "refugees" or "illegals" in EU you've heard about on social media or the news. These are the statistics the public has been informed about:

For exactly how many polygamous marriages there are among Muslim immigrants in the EU. A few relevant findings:

According to a study by Pew Research Center, about 5% of Muslims in the countries studied live in polygamous households globally. 

A 2016 report asked by the European Parliament noted that polygamous marriages among refugees and asylum-seekers are a “legal and social concern”, but 🙃 it did not provide a firm numeric estimate. 

Some reports estimate that in places like France there could be around 16,000-20,000 polygamous Muslim marriages among immigrants. 

So while polygamy exists among immigrant Muslim populations in Europe, the precise scale is unclear.

✅ Some existing data points

In France: According to a 2018 written question to the European Parliament, polygamous families are estimated between 10,000 and 30,000 families, representing “some 200,000 people”. 

In France again: Other sources state “16,000 to 20,000 polygamous families” among immigrants. 

In the UK: One source estimates as many as 20,000 polygamous Muslim marriages. 

👉Unfortunately that might be double or tripled by 2025 😬

⚠️ Why a total EU-wide number is elusive

Many EU countries don’t collect regular statistics on polygamy among immigrants, regugees or illegals, [tho they should, cuz theyre provided services and entry].

Polygamous unions may be unregistered or gone abroad to do it [or force marry their daughters there], and then brought back to the EU, (regardless if became citizens or not) complicating data.

Legal frameworks differ: polygamy is illegal in many EU states, so any known cases are informal/undocumented.

Estimations are often for one country, not aggregated EU-wide, and may vary in methodology and reliability.

🔍 The best guess...

Given the country-level estimates (e.g., up to ~30,000 families in France) and knowing similar practices exist in other EU states (UK, Germany, Sweden, etc.), a rough estimate for the entire EU might range somewhere in the tens of thousands of polygamous families, possibly up to 100,000 or more families. 

By 2025 that might be 300k such marriages. 😬😬

I looked into the US too cuz of the Mormon cult, and the mass influx of illegals and imports of Muslims during Obama and Biden administration's. 

There are some estimates for how many people live in polygamous-style households in the United States, even though polygamy (i.e., legally being married to more than one person) is illegal in all 50 states. Here are key points:

• A reference states that the U.S. has an estimated 30,000 to 60,000 polygamists (not married). 

• Another source suggests theres up to 50,000 polygamous marriages in the U.S. today. 

• A law-review paper estimated “between 20,000 and 100,000 Mormon households … in the U.S.” plus “an estimated 100,000 polygamist Muslims” in the U.S. 

• According to the Pew Research Center, fewer than 0.5% of Americans live in polygamous households. But 250k is still a large number of people. 

✅️The good news is every year 30K Muslims in UK, & 30K Muslims in US convert to Christianity. So among any of those... they would stop that cycle in their family, and future generations, to marry 1:1 as God designed. 

Some estimates say 28% of Muslims coming to the west leave Islam, but that might be just the secularized non religious ones. Not the deeply entrenched ones in Islam. 

It is a small dent, but God is moving among Arabs. And their offspring. 

Even among Westerners who converted to Islam, 80% leave that religion within 2 to 3 years. 

Pray for this practice to end, & for westerners to not be decieved into Islam, abd more Arabs turning to Christ (or at least leaving Islam). 

And pray for the unsaved, whether in polygamous relationships or marriages, just anyone unsavedvin general... to become born again, renouncing and turning from any sinful lifestyle. 

God bless

Footnote: 

Gptchat info was researched for data info, and some of my notes were added.