Caution on bad influences & pursuing a holy life, does open opps to evangelize
Growing in Faith journey, avoiding bad decisions, caution with "friends", alcohol & unequally yoked friendships. How to use those associations to minister the Gospel & gift gifts that also plant seeds.
I’ve never really been into drinking or going out to bars, but over the past month, I’ve gone out a few times and have gotten drunk twice. I didn’t do anything bad it was mostly just laughing, talking, and making good memories with my friends. Still, I’ve been feeling guilty about it because, while I genuinely enjoyed those moments, part of me worries that I’m not honoring God the way I should.
I don’t want to promote drunkenness or make it a habit, but I also don’t want to isolate myself or miss out on time with people I care about. I think what’s been on my mind most is this: how can I be a light for God and live out my faith genuinely without coming across as judgmental or “too good” for others if I give up going out. I feel like everyone assume i’m judging or too good if I don’t drink. I even had a friend say “You’ve drank with us before stop acting like you’re better than it” or one time I sinned and gossiped with my friends and then I deiced to stop gossiping and didn’t say anything the next time they talked about it and they said “Omgsh you gossip too stop judging us” when I was judging at all. I just was not participating. i don’t know this is something I’ve really been struggling with in my friend group. Any advice? How can we not come off as “better than thou” while also living for Jesus? I also don’t want to be a “fakey” instagram christian where I just post all my amazing materialistic things..
A: If you fear such things being said, you're not trusting God; you need to actively grow in that area. If they say such things to you [fear that your pride is afraid they will] thats not a good mindset, nor people to be around. You should be able to say things you believe and give opinions they will respect, even if they agree to disagree. You should stand on truth and just admit "Yes, those times, I failed in the past to live up to my faith, but understand that & am pursuing a more holy Christlike life now. Im not perfect, believers do grow in the faith, we dont stay where we were once convicted by God." You could even launch unto the Gospel from that:
1. You know Faith tends to be something people dont really talk about, and isnt understood well. I would love to hear your thoughts on this [hand them a book youre gifting them]. Would you read it and get back to me about it this week? Greatly appreciate it. [Then look at the menu to order & move onto the day's activity].
You could start with that, and then next opp [you actively look for] move to #2 (below) , so it [the convo/Gospel] actually confronts them personally. And shows you genuinely care about them. Even if theyre negative about it, theyll think about it, and God might use that to quickly call them to salvation. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, and their response is urgent to recieve it. Either way they make a decision, rejecting or receiving at the time of hearing. Pray & end convo asking them to think about it.
2. "Have you ever understood the Gospel clearly before? There's things we talk about and discuss in life, but Faith always seems to not really be discussed or understood well. Now is as good a time as any 🤷♀️. Let me share with you this Faith I love and show why. To get there, first let me ask, [go from there into the good test] how many lies do you think you have you told in your whole life?...." it leads to explaining at the end the "Why" they need Jesus. If anything they heard the truth and can either walk away from you [freeing your time and life up for believer frirndships & goid works and serving God that he is movjng you inwards to] or thry'll come to salvation, and now gives you ability to mentor and help disciple them in Christ [alongside their/your Church].
Folk gotta stop being scared to share Christ. The Gospel offends or converts. You have to be willing to lose those folk, so God can replace them & move you on, to where He wants your life [and time spent] to go. Serve Him, not yourself. It's their loss if they dont embrace Christ & dont remain a friend. True friends tell the truth in love, call each other out, recieve that, & iron sharpens iron, & does encourage one another, etc. Those not on that path, will go out from us, not being of us, to continue in sin, and if later they get saved theyll tell you, rejoice, or meet them in Heaven. Don't cling to them in desperation. Let God fill your life with godly brethren who help you mature in the Faith, and help keep you in the holy path. Bad company corrupts. If youre not influencing them & catering to them and in fear... theyre not ones to be around.
2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
Christians are called to be set apart from the world. The Holy Spirit is convicting you because you're not being a light in darkness, as you should, and youre not living holy. Matthew 5: 15-16 "You are the light of the world... Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.".
You're trying to blend in with unbelievers and assimilate with the world, which we are warned against. Romans 12:2"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.".
The problem with "fitting in" is no one sees Jesus in you. There is no hope or salvation found in a worldly, cultural Christian. They do not live for Christ and do not truly know Him. Worldliness leads folk to hell. Your friends feel guilty for acting that way because they live a life of sin and serve Satan, and their conscience convicts them as it should.
Romans 2:15: “They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even defend them.”
John 16:8-11: “And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: concerning sin, because they do not believe in me.
Inherently, we all know we have a Creator, we're made in His image. Many people choose to deny Him but some have consciences that still speak against them; they havent seared all areas of it yet. If you choose not to sin, even voice it, they have to face their own feelings and convictions. You dint want to, through peer pressure, appear ashamed of nor renounce Christ, failing also to pursue holiness and uphold His standards.
Right now, God by conviction, & Satan by spiritual warfare are going to go hard after you because you're compromising and giving sin a foothold in your life.
Think of God's revealing these things and calling to you to live holy and seperate from the world to be a good thing to help you grow. Hebrews 12:11: “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
You're at a pivotal point, spiritually, and need to choose who you really love and serve. Satan will seize the opportunity and try to trap you in his plan for destroying your life, at minimum stunting your growth and in a cycle of ashammedness. Live by this standard: if it doesn't glorify God, it probably isn't something I should be saying or being involved in. You'll continue to be convicted until you either take a stand for Christ, or keep falling into Satan's & your flesh's traps of sin. Leading your heart to hardened and you fall back into the things you claim Christ's saved you out of, or reveal youre a false convert (caring more of the world and others opinions than God our Creator).
Be thankful for the feelings you have about this. It means your heart is still hearing the Holy Spirit and hasn't hardened toward God. Sin has that effect. Immerse yourself in prayer, worship, and Scripture, those who serve and love God, choose God & holy obedience over popularity & acceptance. You'll never be equal wuth nor appease any in the world. Hold firmly to Christ & Faith.
John 15:18-19: “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”
If theyre not saved, distance yourself without cutting them off, replace them with godly holiness pursuing believers to be equally yoked, to, grow close to, influence your life long term, and yet take opps to evangelize the non saved/false convert ones you know or meet.
You can decline outings with those "friends" you noted, where places they want to go give an appearance of evil or hypocrisy as a believer, such as bars and clubs. Plus you dont need to drink alcoholic drinks; non alcoholic ones exist, and if "friends" look down on you for that, theyll get over it. & no you're not to let them "use" you as the designated driver cuz of that decision to non alcohol.
Just avoid alcohol, today it prevents sober mindedness, can put women in a place of being watched in such places to be kidnapped, trafficked and etc.
1 Peter 5:8: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
1 Peter 4:3: “For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry.”
1 Corinthians 6:9-11: “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
Ephesians 5:18: “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit.”
Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
Those are def not good places for believers to go. If they want to be around you, they can meet up atvplaves you approve; at a lunch or brunch spot, a fun family friendly place, hang at your home occassionally, or go to safer places where degenerate behavior isnt typically found, and where theres safety for women.
Use those opps to shine Christ, and minister to them, and leave them gifts like books that point to the Gospel, biblically accurate vetted books related to women topics, and Gospel tracts. Many point out diff things that can further explain things and thus seed plant. If they choose to avoid you, thats fine. If they unfriended you, thats fine. See unsaved folk as a mission field, not folk to cater to nor be led by, into worldly thinking and activities.
Hope this helped.
Btw, many professed Christ as a child but by teen years or as soon as they leave home, they go off to live a life of sin, showing they never were saved to begin with. Idk if thats you. There's many sitting in pews, having a belief in Jesus or God thats idolatrous, yet never were actually saved. While I see conviction in things you have concern over baeed on what you said, theres a worldly sorrow and a godly sorrow, theres miralists and those actually saved who have the indwelling Holy Spirit and the Fruit of the Spirit. So, I would like to encourage you to ensure you are actually saved. Scripture also calls us to. This has helpful info to walk you through self examining, (and provides assurance for those actually saved). Wherever you land, if in Christ or you get right with God... fully surrendered your life to Him, (understanding the cost, and picking up your cross to follow Jesus regardless of all that comes with being a true follower, and where it leads). Firmly determin to rightly fear God, not men, & love God not the world.
We do grow into maturity and it takes time, but we cant be complacent and need to actively pursue it. This & this can bless and help you with that, as you pursue this journey.
God bless
*Bookmark this page, & set a daily phone alarm to go thru all these things in the coming days and weeks. ✨️
Related
