Catholic bf wants me to leave Christianity once married & join RCC, raising kids there
Q: My boyfriend was raised Catholic and I was raised Christian. We have talked and he said our beliefs are not different but simply the way we practice our faith. He wants to raise children in the Catholic faith rather than Christian.
I am struggling with this as non denominational Christianity is all I have ever known. What do I need to know, am I missing anything?
A: Besides his lie about "our beliefs are not different", you are feeling conflicted because you are in Christianity but holding on to this guy and thinking if a future with him, when you know deep down his religion isnt Christian. Don't stop following Jesus into eternity, & follow him into Hell. Leave him and cling to Jesus.
Catholicism isnt Christianity, thus you cannot go to that religion, nor drag your kids there.
Galatians 1:6-9 : "I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently, some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse!"
Non denominational in truth is likely Baptist or SBC Baptist. Today many dont label it, but it is what they teach there. But regardless, it is of true Christianity, (while Catholicism is not).
Below are the Essentials Scripture lays out as what defines Christianity, and beliefs we must hold to to be Christian. [Every one of them is required to believe; you cant believe some and not all. And the words must be as defined by Scripture, not redefined as cults & religions like RCC do]. Catholicism rejects these Essentials, and who God really is. Stay far from Catholicism. If you dont listen, you are leaving Christianity for false religion that damns. You are leaving Christ and Truth, and choosing a Satanic path over God. You're becoming an apostate. Apostates spend eternity in Hell.
God has long warned of this in Scripture:
• Deuteronomy 13:6–8 – “If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, ‘Let us go and worship other gods’… do not yield to them or listen to them.”
• Joshua 23:12–13 – “If you turn away and ally yourselves with [those decievers who are in idolatry]… they will become snares and traps for you.”
• 2 Chronicles 15:2 – “The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.”
• Matthew 24:10–12 – “At that time many will turn away from the faith and [decievers] will appear and deceive many people.”
• 1 Timothy 4:1 – “The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.” [apostate]
• 2 Thessalonians 2:3 – “Don’t let anyone deceive you in any way....”
• Hebrews 3:12 – “See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.”
• Jude 1:4 – “For certain individuals… have secretly slipped in among you. They are ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord.” [They twist God's truth into deceptive lies that people fall for, they live in sin and drag you into idolatry and sin, but worse they pervert who God & Jesus are, and the Gospel]
• 2 Peter 2:20–22 – “If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning.” [fell for subtle deception and became apostate]
• Jude 1:11–13 – Apostates are compared to Cain, Balaam, and Korah… clouds without rain, trees without fruit, wild waves of the sea, and wandering stars for whom the deepest darkness has been reserved forever.
• Hebrews 6:4–6 – “It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened… if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance.” [apostate]
• John 6:66 – “From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.”
• 1 John 2:19 – “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us.” [apostate]
That guy (bf) in the Satanic system is trying to lure you in (either as one who himself is decieved or is intentionally decieving you to lure you in, under false pretenses like "I love you, marry me"; like a song of Sirens). Do not be duped by Satan nor his children. Firmluly, steadily follow Christ whom you claim to love, and our triune God, not a false idolatrous counterfeit version that doesnt exist. Do not go running after some guy, in desperation or unequally yoked hope that will fail you.
Trust God to bring a truly saved Christian man to you. Theres 320 million people in this country. God has a godly Born Again, Redeemed believing man in store for you.
Dont blow it by running after some other guy who doesnt know God, and has not Jesus as his Savior. Has not the Holy Spirit in him, nor the new nature, nor has been restored to God. He is a fraudulent idolator pretending to be of God. Like Satan he masquerade as an angel of light, decieving people. He does not live out the Spirit, the communicable attributes of God (noted in Gal 5, and 1 Cor 13), he cant love you as Christ loves the Church. He can only live out a false & distorted version of moralism [based on & changes with his selfish and sin desires](2). Many fallen people think they are right with God because they have some form of religiosity, & go to some "church", but they haven't been converted by God. Theyre spiritually dead, in their sin nature, and go about living a decieved life.
These false folk's real personality comes out, eventually showing they're not of God, and for naive women....its usually [a spiritually orchestrated trap]....you find out too late, a few years after married, when theyre done pretending and putting up a front, and then its too late to exit the relationship. Or lure you to believe their religion is "just a diff denomination", decieving you, cuz you dont know the truth of it, and they pull you into false religion while dating. But again, you dont realize the magnitude of your mistake until after marriage. Many Catholics have trapped a spouse in a unequally yoked marriage, which was craftily orchestrated by Satan [that subtle trickster].... cuz the Christian [you] didn't listen to God, Scripture, their Pastor & godly counsel, and didnt know the differences of Christianity and Catholicism. Thus you're duped & chained to Satan's child [for 80 miserable yrs!]. You wont experience a true blessing of a real Christian marriage, and what it is really like to be equally yoked, with both living life in Christ. Also, your children will be influenced by that damning false religion - instead if being protected from it.
You really really need to understand this. Catholicism has duped many many people into thinking its Christian like other groups, but its not. They may use similar words as we do but like cults their meanings are different. Even redefining who God & Jesus are, and what work Jesus did. They present as Christianity, but are not.
Examine these things well...
Spend the time going through everything in these links, then Speak to your pastor after examining these.
In truth, since Catholicism is not Christianity, so you cannot date nor marry him. Period. He wont/cannot be the spiritual leader over you nor the home cuz hes not saved; hes not qualified. It is unequally yoked to be joined to him. Joining darkness to light. Joining Jesus to Satan (anathama! Impossible). Joining deception to truth; falling for Satan's tricks, twistings and lies. Unequally yoked is rebellion against God. Joining to a religion that has not the true God, true Jesus, true Gospel, is exchanging Jesus, and truth for a lie. Being ok with embracing lies, not following God but chasing after a fallen man whose been decieved by a false religion. Being ok with leaving the only God & Savior who can save you and live eternally with... for some guy who will live 20 to 80 years, and then end up in Hell... is insanity. Its a crazy choice. He and his counterfeit love and faith are not worth throwing Jesus and salvation away. Going into Catholicism is embracing idolatry and being an adulterer towards God as Israel did long long ago (before, and since Christ). Do not let Satan decieve you.
Will you follow Christ, or a fallen man? Who do you really love?
Choose who you will serve, God or Satan. Your eternity is riding on it. It is that serious.
Be warned.
May God help you see these truths.
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Ps. Normally I would not end as abruptly as I did above & encourage you to share the Gospel with him. But hes acting like he knows the differences and is still trying to lure you in.
So I'm firmly saying you yourself need to examine what's in the above resources. Without his knowing nor his input. He will craftily decieve you and distort the truth in this matter, leading you astray. Do not seek His thoughts nor opinion. Be a Berean and examine it well. Understand it, then go talk to your pastor or a biblical counselor for questions you have.
Once you have a firm understanding and grasp on this, and only then, could you possibly consider having a convo with him, & consider sharing the Gospel and truth with him. Don't let him try to distort the truth in such convo. Tell him youre "I'm not going to debate Catholicism and Christianity topics, but you do want to ask him to look at this [here and who God is here, and...then this short video], and get your thoughts".
Ask if he believes these truths about God. Ask if he believes these truths sbout Christianity.
And then....Ask "Have you ever understood the Gospel so clearly, and your need for Christ?".
If hes saying yes to all of these....
Ask [to clarify] if he understands "Jesus paid in full all that God required to redeem us, and that no works he can do in his fallen state, in his sin nature, can ever add to nor help save himself. No efforts of fallen man can add to Jesus work to help save himself. Ask if he is ready to trust in the real Jesus and obey the true Gospel, recieving this free gift of salvation God has offered us in Jesus, putting his full and sole trust in Him". If so, ask him to right now, "humbly pray to God with a contrite heart, to forgive all his sins, save him and cause him to be born again, and to lead him to live a holy life following Christ & Truth According only to the 66 books of holy Scripture." Then pray over him, a prayer of "asking God to truly convert him, transform him into a new creation, giving him spiritual life, and leading him to live in Christ. Get discipled at a Christian church, get baptized as a believer, and with his new nature and new desires, a heart desire to read the Bible daily, and live out what he learns".
If he rejects it as the truth, (or any part of it) then walk away from him. Break it off that relationship & dont look back.
If he receives it, repents and comes to Christ, (the real one), then he needs to leave RCC & follow you into a Christian church, and thats where you will go while married and the kids raised up there too [not & never to Catholicism].
He will have much to unlearn & get educated on, so get him discipled with a solid mature godly man/men in your church, (preferably ones who came out of Catholicism), maybe from the leaders. Theyll help him, pour into his life, educate him. Have him get baptized "as a believer", & go to church every opp its open, and actively hang out with those godly men outside church and at church. And he needs to read the Bible daily at home. Once married you read individually and together, and guide each other into holy living.
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Again, do not have any convos about any of this with him until you examine all the info above, and have a firm grasp on who the triune God is, what the Essentials of Christianity is, and what the Gospel really is(1). Along with everything in the above that reveals Catholicism as counterfeit.
When you have a true grasp on it, then you can go to try and reach him for Christ, in truth. And if needed, have a convo with your pastor or one of those godly (mature in the faith) men at church [who used to be Catholic], who can be a wingman to you, for the day you have the above convo. Have him "stop by" 😉 around the time you think your convo on the matter will end, so if he rejects it & starts on a RCC tyraid, your wingman can slide in and have a well equipped convo to try to squash falsehoods for you, (so its not you hes dealing with). Let your wingman try to do all that stuff, cuz hes well educated in it, and can keep dude from trying tricks and deception, cuz the wingman knows what dude is doing, and how to counter it with truth. If you have that wingman on your side, he might be able to persuade your bf that hes holding to error, on matters hes being stubborn on. Then he might be open to the truths you shared.
Give him a couple days to think on these things. Let your wingman give him his phone number, to discuss anything else hes wondering, needs clarity on etc. So he has time to consider and process it.
Ask your wingman to say "Think about these things for a couple of days, & without contacting her....because if you dont embrace the truth, shes willing to & is going to end the relationship - having learned Catholicism isnt Christianity. And she won't be unequally yoked to you. Contact me [wingman] when youve thought it thru, and let me know your decision, and I'll pass it on to her, and we'll go from there."
This will do a few things:
●He will know you spent time looking into this.
●He will realize you know the truth.
● & That you are serious.
●That you care about him enough to do all of this to minister the truth to him.
●That you arent going to play games; you wont apostatize (severing yourself from Christ to follow him).
●That you & your kids wont be raised in/ following RCC.
●He knows you're willing to leave him & for good; leaving you and clinging to Christ .
● That you cared enough to share the truth, and bring someone to help him see that too.
●That he can still have time to think about the things of truth that were revealed to him
●That he has a Christian he can contact to discuss more.
●That hes not going to be able talk you into RCC, no matter how he would try.
●That he has a decision to make, spiritually.
●That decision affects your relationship.
●That he cant decieve you by claiming to go along, then switching to pursue RCC luring in the future.
●That youre ready and willing to cut off the relationship today. Permanently.
It will also give you help with a middle man, that youre going no contact; theres a buffer person between you, and he cant do anything rash nor try to decieve and "oh baby" woo lure you with his flowery words, to get you to just forget it and keep dating. That theres a deadline; time ticking on this. He has to take it seriously and really think sbout it. Its a bit like an intervention. Theres a real guy standing between you two, and hes not going to let anythung happen, nor him contact her. Hes put on notice, and you wont have any contact with him (avoid all texts and calls), and call wingman or someone if he tries in petson attempts (comes over or tries to meet you at work or home), so they can shoo him away, so he has to know he cant woo or worm his way back in. And he has to actually take this seriously.
Your buffer person who commits to help, will comes over can say [pre knowing to simply state]: "Jack, you know this isnt what was agreed to. Don't be clingy or tru to woo her to forget all this. She's not going to choose you over Jesus & truth. The question you have to answer for yourself is, are you going to follow the real God, real Jesus, and embrace the real Gospel. Leaving Catholicism for true Christianity. And you need to go think on those things for these few days then contact [wingman]."
Once the decision is made, it will either be easy for you to just break it off by phone or text. "I respect your decision to choose to follow the religion you want to pursue, but know both that its not true Christianity, and that our relationship is now ended. I wish you well." And hang up or if texted.. Just block all his numbers, block/remove him from social media, and notify everyone you're close to that you've broken up after careful consideration, and wont be seeing him again; due to your following Christ, and not embracing Catholicism. That the convo is not open for discussion, and you ask that they respect your decision, and not try to meddle, cuz you wont tolerate it. You're moving in to the next chapter in life, and simply wanted them to be aware.
If he did recieve Christ and biblical truth, then plug him into the Church, to get discipled by godly men there, ensure hes formed true friendships with those discipling mentors that they're in his life outside church, influencing and befriending him. And that theres genuine fruit proof of his salvation going on longer than 3 years (to make sure hes not a false convert nor pretending "just to appease you" temporarily), to ensure it is a genuine conversion, before you agree to get engaged.
In fact once he gets saved, ask the wingman to have that convo with him for you, noting you "arent going to even consider engagement, until shes sure you really are saved, and that will take a bit over 3 years to determine". So have the godly men at church (mature in the faith ones in the mens group snd among church leaders) pour into his life, disciple him, but also teach him on self control, and sexual purity, so he isnt tempted to cause you to sin, him to sin, sin against your bodies, God, and disrespect your parents snd his, by committing sexual sins.
Set boundaries.
● Never be alone together.
● Never go to each other's home, nor hotels, nor on trips.
● Don't go anywhere without a [saved] godly chaperone
● Only meet in public places
● Only meet in daylight hours
● Consider having a chaperone on the phone and included in your texts [via a text group only], to ensure no sexual impropriety in conversations.
*All these eliminate 99% of sexual sin. 1% is your own thoughts, which require self control, and holy thinking.
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For now, go examine those things above, then contact someone at church who can be your godly wingman & buffer, to help you with this.
They can also help guide him, and help yall find a committed chaperone (if its not also him), if your bf gets saved.
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Footnotes:
On Believers vs Unsaved folk:
Those not converted by God cant behave or think as those are converted.
What to really know about God:
Hope these things also result in helping your Fauth be solidified, and help you be able to see truth from error, and the red flags of subtle deception (of false teachings and religions beliefs that dont align with biblical Christianity). ✨️
