Pre Dating, Dating or Courting Questions *

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Updated:  Oct 9, 2025

Here's other questions to think and consider.

(💥 are new Questions added)

These Qs can be made into flashcards, by timeframe to discuss, for convos.

These are get to know you and have you evers, with some how would you handles.

Im putting it into categories soon, but for now it gives you ideas what things you need to ask right away, as you go, getting closer to engagement, or to help you end it sooner than find out something important a year or two from now thats a true deal breaker. Helps prevent wasting your time and youth. 

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Ask him to Tell the truth and in as much detail as possible. Integrity is important. [*you'll be following up with family, friends, pref girlfriends and schoolmates, and college buddies, and church folk to find out more, and if these are true answers]. 

You can both agree to use lie detector game hand thing, or have others use it when asking him more personal questions. *Suggest it light heartedly, to add accountability and honesty to certian convos. Hes not at liberty to spring bizarre or odd questions on you, just ones that help genuinely get to know you and are in line with Christian thinking and ensuring your right for each other. 

After convos where he shares his answer, use the detector device to ask:" is what you just said, true/completely true?" As it only responds to yes and no. And lies are detected. You want a honest truthful mate.

Some of these are best left to your pastor, elders, mens group leaders, godly guys you know and trust, to ask him as they vet him (sexual ones in particular) which could be on a sheet with Y/N circled using the lie detector. It's a reason theyre also asking those ones (and can add any other questions), its all to protect you, and help vet him well. If he's got nothing to hide, he will be open to it and see its importance, as this relationship would be a life long commitment. He has to qualify as a suitor to proceed [hitting biblical basics... to even begin], and be qualified to be the husband, home leader, spiritual leader, and father you're expecting. He's interviewing for the role if a lifetime! It is not something to go into blindly nor based on lust or love ferlings that fade, and then reality and hard life hits. You're stuck with him for 80 years. So be wise. 

The thing about these questions is, it gives you something to talk about, it shows him you have interest in him, that you're serious, looking to find a partner, etc. His answers on many things dont mean he's failed to be someone you'll consider as a suitor, (others; will but he doesnt need to know that). These conversations lead you both to get to know each other. Make sure you know these and other answers for yourself as well. The questions help you get to know the kind of person he really is, and him you. If hes not the right one for you, [or potentially later on after more maturity; if God has yall cross paths later], these good discussions help him get to thinking, take action, and mature a bit, and same for you. Theres tons more female related questions (like how much money do you waste on material things, on make up, hair, nails, shoes, etc that could be being saved to invest & bring higher returns), but the below are helpful in communicating with a guy, and others you trust to also have certian discussions so that hes being vetted, not just by what he tells you or shows you. Cuz people put up a facade/mask for who they really are if you cant break thru that shell to see a bit deeper to the real him. Esp in spiritual matters, but also into what kind of leader, husband, father he will be... and you dont want the false convert, lazy one, dumping all the home work on you (and possibly job too), while he relaxes ( after 8) [but your "on" 247 365]. That's not Christlike. That's not love. That's a maid, slave, and baby sitter. You dont want that kind of life.

And its ok if hes working towards things; but watch him achieve them (not be just a smooth talking dreamer) before you agree to an engagement. Even if it takes 3 years, if you have boundaries in place, hes growing in self control & not focused on lust but adulting goals; purposely desiring to be financially ready (and studying well to lead the home) to be the husband & provider God wants him to be, before he is even considering the next step [engagement]. But actively pursuing it cuz hes looking for a life mate (centered on Christ).

He will respect you for asking these questions, even if any are a surprise. But if hes not maturing as a man & as a professing believer, then hes not the one. These discussions will help you both think about yourselves, your life (into the future), make changes and mature more - even if you conclude (early on or a bit later) he's not a suitor at all for you, and you both part ways.  

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Pre dating...

💥Find out how many Christian women he has dated, who were actually pursuing a holy life and following Christ. [You want to know if he has been actively pursuing holy women or just ones who claimed to be. We're they from false churches and false prosperity Gospel places, cultural Christians, or from real churches and really saved]. Then you want to find out if he had bad past experiences in relationships where hes jaded and toxic now & doesnt trust [revealing hes unsaved or not mature yet] or if hes really saved and understands diff people are diff, new relationships are new, and extends respect, grace, and love towards Christian women he dates. Figure out questions you can ask to find out all those answers. Cuz you dont want to pursue someone who is a false convert or hasn't had godly men mentoring & discipline him, leading to his growth and maturity as a person and in the Faith. If broken from past relationships, hes not ready for future ones, and needs God to heal him first. Its ok to express that and indicate if later he has fully resolved those & healed, and if shes still single, perhaps it might be ok to try again, possibly God's timing. But for now we can amicably part ways and wish each other well. 

If he passes the above, and you confirmed it by talking to his family and friemds, and folk at his church who know him, [and godly men at your church helping to vet it too], then proceed below with more pre dating questions. 

⭐️Discuss expectations of a relationship. 

⭐️If & while he dates to marry or courts you, what does that relationship look like, what are his ideals [fantasy] about it?

People see a relationship in different ways, and once married often have their ideas shattered by reality and it leads to dissapointmemt and depression. 

⭐️*Discuss, but you want to know...

-what he thinks the purpose of marriage is for?

-what does a day to day home life look like with your wife (have him go hour by hour and general overview & detailed for newlywed, married without kids, life with babies, life with young kids, life with older kids, life after they move out -- include weekends). 

👉Ask: Are you expecting your wife to work, or are seeking a traditional wife and life? 

*Have him Define traditional very clearly. Say "and..." for a while to pull it out if him. And have godly men you send to interview him ask that too. 

*you define traditional as the pre 50s us war era Christianity. Where hes more hardworking at home than at his job. Where men are equally working at home, who loves his wife as Christ loves the Church, who as a loving sacrificing servant is always actively & intentionally finding things that need to be done in the home and does it both without her asking, and without wanting praise and thanks when he does it. He does it cuz it needs done, and other times helps remove burdens from her. Not a lazy bum who wants to come home to a servant and sex slave. 

💥Besides basics, do discuss spiritual life Qs before going deeper into personal questions. You want to see if hes even a qualified suitor - even worth your time to get to know. If he fails it, move on. Do not date him. 

⚠️It is vital to ensure that women/you're holding same beliefs, on Essentials but also important secondary areas, since he will be the spiritual leader in the home; what he teaches to you and the kids is what the home will hold to. This is why it is better if you marry a godly man whose deep in the Word for many years (so hes not immaturely tossed around by varuous teachings, holds to and shepherded/discipled in his church - not by joe blow on social media. You want him firmly holding views on biblical doctrines and secondary matters cuz hes well learned and wont flip flop later; it can devistate). Do not rush to nor cling to any guy who comes along, nor lament if youre not finding someone... God will bring the right guy to you at the right time. Even if hes 35 or 40 having been pursuing God in the Word for decades with godly men around him. Most guys brains arent fully developed till 35 or 40 anyway. 

 

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At the start... Spiritual questions are essential conversations. Can be included in pre dating convos. 

=====Spiritual life=====

💥Did you grow up in a Christian family?

💥Did your parents raise you up to know Jesus & of God and Christianity? [Did he come from a Christian background]. 

Did you grow up going to church? 

💥What are some memories from church [early on; kid/teen years, or encounters and stiries from if you 1st came to church after 20s/30s]. 

How old were you when you became a Christian?

Did any of your family also become Christian after you did? About When. 

💥Have you ever shared your testimony with family, friends, neighbors [and your kids]? 

💥Share your testimony with me. 

In your understanding, tell me "Who is Jesus" [How he would explain Him to someone who doesnt know him, incl. God in the flesh, our example, & of His character], and who is He to you ? [Savior, Redeemer, life changer, life partner, Lord, the one you follow daily, life, the one who is always with you, etc]

If poc: Did your parents (& relatives) go to a purposely segregated church or integrated into a regular American multi national church? 

Growing up at church, 1.What did that day & service look like? 2. What are some memories you have?

What would you say the Bible reveals? 

What does the OT tell us, and what does the new? 

What does the Bible contain for believers, and what for the unsaved? 

💥What are the Essentials of Christianity? 

💥Are you knowledgeable enough about the Gospel to explain it to others?

💥How would you articulate the Gospel with someone? 

💥Do you look for opportunities to share the Gospel? When was the last time you shared the Gospel (share the story). What are the ways you share (verbal, online, tracts & in varying ways and places, etc). 

💥How regularly do you find opportunities to do these things? Do you go with 2 to 3 other people from church for outreach to share Christ & often? 

💥How do you know someone is in a false "Christian" religion [for true faith: what do they have to believe, what do those words mean, what's the litmus test (A: the Essentials)].

💥What things do you notice about someone that would have you questioning if theyre really saved, (and would you have that convo to probe their salvation)?

💥What are you currently reading in Scripture? [Ask him about the story, contents and what he learned that he didn't know befire [it can show if hes maturing in the Faith or only knows basics- gives red flags if he claims one thing but his understanding reveals another]. 

💥When was the last time you read Scripture? [You want to make sure its regularly abd not just at church]. 

💥How often do you read the Bible? (Is it daily and consistently? Do you slack and your life stops pursuing holiness and frequently wander onto the paths of sin[- this is important cuz if hes to be the spiritual leader he needs to have a lige saturated by the Word of God to be led by it & lead the family by it].

💥What does your daily time in the Scriptures look like? (What they do and use; beyond the Bible are there apps? Do they read in print & by app? Do they more reverently read the printed word? Etc)

💥Whats the most recent Bible verse you've memorized?

💥What verse are you currently memorizing?

Is there a reason youre memorizing that verse?

💥How many Bible verses would you say you've memorized? 

What reasons did you memorize prev verses? [*know & meditate on the essentials, keep in my heart the attributes or promises of God, for being able to evangelize, and counsel, etc]. 

Have you memorized entire books? 

Have you found a life verse from Scripture? 

What are your favorite Bible verses?

When did you start reading the Bible? 

Have you been reading the Bible faithfully since? 

Have you found that your walk falteres and you fall into sin when you are not regulatly in the Word?

How long now have you been reading the Bible daily? 

-If its not daily, why not, and how often?

💥Tell me about your first real Bible.

💥Tell me about the first time you read through the Bible. 

💥Other than The Bible, what theologically themed book helped open your eyes/helped you understand better? And what one most  recently? 

Do you know more sports teams and player stats.... than Bible memory verses? 

💥Do you know more about hobby / game/ interest related stuff than you do Bible memory verses? 

Have you found/Do you have a life verse yet? 

What verse of Scripture categorizes your life?

What verse of Scripture would your godly family say categorizes your life?

What verse of Scripture would some of your godly brethren at church say categorizes your life?

What do you prefer at church and what does your church use: Contemporary music or hymns 

💥Would you change churches if you found one that sings solid theologically biblical hymns?

What are some of your favorite hymns?

-ask for a few more, that arent the typically known ones to everyone.

💥 in worship service, do you clap after music? Who is it towards?... the performer, the performance, or only as a praise to God? Or not at all? [*not at all is preferred, cuz 1. Your focus should be on God, 2. it can confuse folk to think youre focus is on the ones singing or music and not on it itself being an act of worship to God; its not a pagan concert, nor needs your approval nor to praise the human talents who are praising God by what theyre doing in the platform. 3. Clapping is a misplacement as our thoughts, hearts and minds should be on God].  

How often do you attend church, and when do you go? (What days, why, what involvement etc). 

💥Whats your church name & Denomination. 

💥What does your [his] Sunday look like today?

-Does Sunday include Sunday School?

-Does he serve at the church?

💥How often do you fellowship with the godly men there?

💥How active are you at church each week?

💥Do you also go to Sunday evening worship?

💥Do you go to mid week service & weekly Bible studies (home fellowship or at church)? 

What does your Sunday look like from walking up to church to afternoon to evening?

If you've been and baptized and a member at your church for more than 3 years, where and how are you serving God there? What spiritual gifts do you believe you have, and how else are you trying to find ways to use it/them?

How long have you been at that church?

Have you grew up in or had been in a cult, catholicism, orthodox or other type of false religion? 

💥What does your time in worship [church] look like? (*Is he focused on singing & its meaning, + and the pastor during the sermon is he focused? Writing notes? Or fidgeting and doing other things). How does your service ending look? [Is he praying for folk to recieve Christ at alter call /the offer to speak w anyone in prayer room?, Is he not fully focused "till service ends", & by disrespectfully towards God and the church leaders being "focused" on putting his Bible and stuff away, and trying to b line it to parking lot to leave (putting himself above others & not being orderly by remaining submitted under Church schedule, being impatient snd "me" focused?)]. Discuss. 

💥Are you in home study fellowship or mid week Bible study at church? Consistently actively?

-What are they studying right now, what has he learned from it. What was the last study they did before that (and ask how long ago it was). 

💥Are you in the mens group? (They meet up regularly once a week usually Sat morning). 

--Who are the guys there you look up to?(get names), Do they have roles in leadership in the church? (what positions), [you want to know if he has a solid base of godly mature man to guide his life and help him with holy accountability. If its the shepherds of the church,  great. If its tom dick and Harry he just sees there, maybe not so much.]. 

💥How active are you in the mens group? 

💥Do you hang out with them outside of church? Is it regular? Like are they good friends? [You want to see of his friends ate godly, connected to the church for another layer of accountability and rooted community there- not flighty and half connected]. 

💥Would you say your closest guy friends are from church or outside the church? [Are his closest friends unsaved and living in the world, drawing him away from holy living? Or rooted in Christ so he lives a solid Christ focused life and loves bejng around God's people].- Also ask if he has any concerns over any of the closest 2-3 friends possibly being lukewarm or false converts, based on their lives. 

💥Whats something you've actively pursued and made progress on in your spiritual life lately? Where are you at with it and what do you hope to accomplish in the next 30 to 60 days? 

💥Name the list [of traits] found in Gal 5 and 1 Cor 13. [Don't say traits. If hes Christian he will know these character traits of the Fruit & love]  

💥What areas of the Fruit of the Spirit have you grown in this last year, and recently? What areas are you working on (and another area plan to work on at the same time)? 

💥When's the last time you fell into sin and what was it? 

Have you conquered that sin with godly help, counsel and accountability from the Church and your time in Scripture? (Share some)

💥Which of the 10c are you struggling most with currently (lately). 

A. Do you have close godly friends among the brethren at your church who are mature in the faith, and among the decons, elders and pastors of the church, who are regularly active in your life outside the church, as true friends and confidants whom you can and do reach out to for counsel, prayer and help you stay accountable to God and holy living?

B.How many men, and can you name them? 

What relationship books has he read in last 3 to 5 years, and this year?

What Christian personal growth books has he read in last 3 to 5 years, and this year?

What husband leadership books has he read in last 3 to 5 years, and this year?

Do you follow any youtube or online folk who advise and disciple in those 3 areas? Who [*ask so you can consult your pastor on them, to see of theyre solid or decievers hes listening to]. Ask if they were suggested by the leadership of his church or he just gravitate to them? 

How have you apply the godly wisdom from those books and content ? Give several examples in near past, and recently. 

What about at church? Do you have solid godly men at church (from among them mens group, and church leadership) whom you have mentors, get discipleship from, advise you on varied situations and issues? How about from other godly mature born again mature in the Faith family members? How often do you seek both these groups out? 

What was the last couple of advice you sought them out for, how long ago? 💥How did they help, and what was the result? 

Currently what does your daily spiritual life look like 1.when you are at home, 2. on weekends, and 3. at work and 4. Away from home? 

What spiritual gifts do you have, and how are you using them in service to God and the Brethren at church? 

What does serving that look like in time spent in preparation 

What areas of Ministry would you like to be involved in or more involved in at church? 

How do you balance your work life and church activities and ministry service? How often are you at church?

If doing a lot at church, would you be able to reprioritize your church life so your married life & life as a father takes priority so as not to neglect nor allow it to suffer due to your zealous desire to be in ministry? That your responsibilities at church lessen in this new season of life.[Not saying not to serve, but as NT points out, single people can fully "dedicate their lives in ministry to God", but married life is its own world and takes precedence in ways that lower what you can do at church going forward, but it doesn't mean no ministering, as your focus switches to your family. To be the spiritual leader of the home, leading your wife and being a ministering team for Christ when entertaining others or going places to use opportunities to share the Gospel as you go, and to focus your ministry on the home where you lead your children and raise them up in Christ, as that home life as spiritual leader is a full time job, and cannot be slacked or done loosely, carelessly nor in a mediocre way, lest they are not trained up in the Lord, and fail to come to Christ, and you show God and others that you did a poor insufficient job. 

Are you preparing for and getting ready fir that role of a lifetime as spiritual leader? And how are you studying and learning so you can be equipped and progress?

💥Are your beliefs based on and shaped by culture or the Word of God (in context)?

💥Name 7 things Christians believe, that are not taught in the Bible. 

💥Name some Bible verses Christians use out of context, (do either of you hold those views?)

What is the difference between the two feedings by Jesus? 

A: The difference between the two feedings by Jesus includes the context of the crowds involved.

Significance of the Differences
The feeding of the **5,000** highlights Jesus' ministry to the Jews, while the feeding of the **4,000** (both not counting women and children) underscores His outreach to the Gentiles, demonstrating the inclusivity of His message and mission.

This distinction is essential for understanding Jesus' broader mission and appeal during His time on Earth. That the Gospel is for all mankind. 

💥What is your [personal biblically held truths] understanding of these 10 questions? 

💥What are your beliefs on baptism, end times, and other Christian beliefs, liberty issues and doctrinal understandings? [You need to know cuz he will teach and lead the home into those, so dont date or marry someone who holds different views].  

💥What would you tell your younger Christian self?

💥What do you live for? 

=====General info===

Some of the below questions (in many sections) can be pulled out to discuss in pre dating conversations. Determine which are right for you. 

💥Whats the latest thing you bookmarked on social media [any and all apps]. Discuss

💥What's the most silly thing that you do, and how do others handle it? 

💥Did you grow up in a bilingual home?

💥How many languages do you speak fluently? 

💥What l was the first foreugn language you wanted to learn?

💥What languages do you know a little bit in?

💥Whether for a hobby, leisure, travel etc, what language would you like to learn ?

💥What other languages would you have interest in learning [and why/what is drawing you to them] 

💥Are you an adrenaline junkie? 

💥How much time do you spend with friends each week, and weekend? Do you gather for trips frequently? 

-how long have you known those friends?

-how/where did you meet? 

-how many of them are close friends?

-how many of them are truly saved, pursuing a godly life in holiness? 

💥Did you go to college? 

💥What degrees and areas of study?

💥What is your highest degree ? 

💥At college did you actually focus for study (or focused on partying)?
💥Did you fail out of college
💥Did you attend some college classes or online courses to lesan/ improve in an area?
💥Did you drop out of college? If so, why? 

💥Did your college life include fraternities or activism [if so what, discuss, & find out if he has any connection to them still today].

💥What is your time management like? [Is he the kind who is consistently late to get to dates or locations? Does he forget stuff and have to go back home? Does he use to do lists to make sure he has everything taken care of and packed in his car (in an organized way), arriving 20 min early, or getting yall somewhere 15 min early for parking, and getting to the reservation or start of the outing/event? Does he even notify you of an unexpected rare delay (after knowing it takes him 18 min to get to you when he shouldve left, excluding the pre departure toilet stop, and sudden traffic issue out of nowhere & detours not on gps)?

💥What's the most disrespectful thing that ever happened to you [any situation] and how did you handle it? 

💥What's something incredibly immature that you do, that women hate?

💥What's something incredibly immature that you do, that you'll probably not outgrow till your 50/80?

💥Did you grow up in the home with your mother and father married, and raising you?⭐️

💥Are you a vegan, vegetarian or meat eater?

-do you eat a good amount of vegetables?

-do you eat pork? [Having a wrong understanding of Scripture, or its a red flag that hes in a cult or his family is in islam]

 .... (Other food qs below)

💥are you Color blind?

💥Do you have vision issues needing glasses, have you had a lasik type proceedure?

💥Do you have a mental or intellectual disability?

💥Are you Autistic? 

💥Was there a time in your childhood you were confused about others emotions? [Indicator of psycopath].

💥Have you ever been diagnosed with anti social personality? [This is a new fancy term for....psycopath😬]  

💥Are you a legal or born citizen here? 

(* even if brought here as a young child or baby, he is subject to deportation if he didn't become a citizen. Don't date that mess). 

💥Are born your parents legal citizens? 

💥We're their parents both born here?

💥Do your parents and grand parents speak English fluently? 

💥Are any of them their siblings illegally here?

💥Are you dating, living with someone, currently engaged, or in a common law marriage? 

Are you legally married to someone... right now?

💥Are you in process of a divorce? (Discuss)

If divorced how many times have you been married?

 💥If seperated or divorced  [Discuss, (why, find out if it was biblical, see if hes formicated since divorce or separation)].

Are you seperated or divorced? 

💥if divorced, how many times hes divorced? 

- has any marriage lasted 10 years or longer? [*if yes... kiss his pension, retirement money social security good bye if you marry him... 🙃it all goes to the prev wife. Best not to date/marry such a person unless theyre wealthy].

Have you had any cosmetic or reconstructive surgery?

💥Whats something you've actively pursued and made progress on in your personal life lately? Where are you at with it and what do you hope to accomplish in the next 30 to 60 days? 

💥Do you have something you "collect"?

What is it?, Whats the cost range to buy it/them? How often do you add to the collection? How many do you have, what's it's total value it cost you to collect it all so far? Is there more to collect? Do they have a purpose? Does the collection have any true "lasting value" - like was it to invest for a bigger return later or... is something you just like? Is it reckless wasteful spending? What happens as you get closer to marriage & it takes up too much room, would cost too much to increase a living space to hold it? Would you sell it then, [grow up; "put childish things behind" as Scripture says], and focus on your marriage & family life? 

💥Is it better to have just a couple items you can enjoy, then sell off and get a couple more? So theres change, a "non hoarding" situation/policy, and you can easily let things go? [Example: an eclectic indiv. picked set of 3 tea cups]. 

Do you generally make a bunch of dumb decisions? 

Has anyone ever said you do not have common sense?

Do you lack critical thinking skills? 

Do you lack social skills?

Can you read the room?

Tell me about your life goals? 

Do you check that plan at the end of the year to see how you are progressing? 

What areas have you fallen behind on the goals for last year/this year?

Are you behind or pivoting because God changed those plans, to move you in the direction he wants you to go, or is it/part of it because you slacked off and got lazy? Or was there legit reasons on your end? (What were they?). 

What are your goals for this year(?) and do you actively do a annual review of your goals for the year at the end of the year(?). Do you make a new one every november/December that includes doubling up in areas you fell behind, for the upcoming year,...or just make a fresh one that's void of the areas you missed this last year? 

How do you handle things when God changes your plans? 

Are you pursuing going God's way, or do you get upset and keep pushing for your plans?

Do you follow the FIRE movement plan, or see that its unsustainable? If you follow it, share your thoughts and goals. 

Do you chase money or pursue God and simply looking for a way to bith be faithful to God and have a financial plan so you can take care of your future family and retirement, but also be charitable (to Christian Gospel causes & your church) with the money God is making you a good stewardship of? 

💥Can I scroll/look through your phone, to learn a bit more about you? [*Look at his gptchat logs, his social media accounts, photos there too, his texts and social dms, as well as look at what apps he has on his phone]. 

How literate are you?

Do you read a lot?

-useful, educational [not comics]

Do you read comics, Manga or watch anime?

Are you a member of any clubs?

What kinds of down time things do you have interest in, that youre pursuing already and activities you want to start? 

How do those glorify God? How can you use those to glorify God, and how can you use them to share the Gospel? 

💥Do you speak foreign languages? What are second languages you've learned? Are you currently learning any? 

💥Do you watch movies & tv shows? Name the top ones you've liked over last 8 yrs. 

💥Do you watch foreign shows? Tell me about that and top shows/movies you liked. 

(Ai Qs below might be good to include here before the next questions). 

💥Do you have paid cable or streaming apps, or dont watch them?  

💥What streaming content subscriptions do you have [the apps, Christian, foreign, finance, sports etc (what are the things that take up his time, and might be controling him/taking precedence or in idolatry)]. (Any adult content/fetish/ porn?)

💥Have you interest in foreign content [with subs not dubbs]? Do dubbs annoy you? 

💥Do you have a juvie or any criminal record? 

💥Do any parents, relatives, siblings or friends have a juvie or any criminal record? [Any in prison now?]

====Relational/ Relationships=====

How do you prefer texting, like what's your texting language? [*when do you like to be texted, what he considers too much, when are best times to not text, do you like morning and evening texts, do you prefer not texts during work hours, does you job allow you to have your phone with you, etc,, and, how does he prefer to communicate with a significant other? Both by text and phone. What does it look like?].

Do you Overcoming to things? 

Do you have a hard time saying no? 

Discuss compromise. Does he compromise? Does he know how? Examples [3-4] of where hes compromised. 

How do you take rejection from a woman? Either say youre trying to talk with her, or show interest and she says no. [*Do you keep talking trying still or do you respect her and move on]

💥Would you consider yourself jealous or possessive in relationships? Would prev gf's/finance/wife agree? 

Are you a member of a fraternity

(College, lodge, other type). Note, discuss, [and possibly write him off]

Are you a member of a gaming network or group? 

Are you a member of any other types of groups?

Have you ever lived as a trans person? 

Are you a trans person? Have you had surgery and taken drugs for it? 

How do you get up in the morning? Is it slow and sluggish, and not able to chat about things, or are you freshly awake and roaring to go?

Do you have any tattoos? Did you get any after you got saved, and did you remove any since you got saved? 

Do you have any piercings? Did you get them before or after you got saved?

Do you own any electric vehicles like scooter, hooverboard, etc?

What kind of vehicle do you have, diesel, gas, electric? 

What do you know about ev?

[* it's made from fossil fuels, you have to replace the mad expensive battery, your home charger could catch fire, you could be assaulted by a stranger or carjacked at a public charger, the car can catch on fire].

Do you ever diy around the house? 

* Share any fail stories & did your family help - or had to hire someone?

Do you own weapons?

Are they for home and personal safety?

Are you trained in gun usage snd gun safety?

Have you gone through certified courses?

Is it to an extreme like its a large part of your life, or just enough to stay active and practice at gun range?

What state and area did you grow up in

Did you grow up in a house? If yes, was it fenced in? Did your parents keep an eye on you when outdoors? If not, what dwelling place? And what was the situation. 

Was the area you lived in safe, or was it predominantly or overrun with crime & /or a lot of Mormons/Muslims there? 

Did your parents let you run around the neighborhood, or did they always supervise?

Did you have sleepovers at friends homes?

We're their parents supervising, or allowed you all to be in the friends bedroom alone. 

Are you an avoidant or communicator? 

How do you handle conflict?

How good are you at communicating

How has your communicating with someone you dated, improved in the last 5 years, and in what areas does it need more improvement? 

When you have a tiff/disagreement with a gf how do you handle it? What does that look like? What are thoughts you have? How does it get resolved? How soon? Then, shortly after, later, same day, next day, or stays unresolved? Are you taking the lead on it? What happens after the matter is concluded? [*is doing these things (fights) for adrenaline rush of sex after? That's a problem; goes to character issue]. 

💥Have you ever held resentment or bitterness towards a gf or someone you dated? If so, what and why? [*goes to below Q concerns of following behavior patterns]. Did you learn something from that experience? How would you behave differently now?

How good are you at sharing your feelings?

Do you actively avoid comminicating, talking about things, shut down.... and let things fester, or do you try to communicate well to avoid hurt feelings, clear up misunderstandings and wrong assumptions? So forgiveness and restoration and love & solid relationship grows and blooms? Avoiding loads of negative things that come as a result of it.

Do you cut people or your SO off in conversations? Do you try to finish their sentences? [Which later turns into bitterness and negative assumptions]

💥How do you feel about your S.O getting asking others something, you both prev discussed? Do you hold a know it all mindset & get bitter and upset over that, or are totally fine with it and see it as a good thing. [which then together circling back on can discuss further, to learn something new]. 

💥 How do you feel about your S.O getting counsel from others besides you? Does it anger you? Do you hold a know it all mindset & get bitter and upset over that, or are totally fine with it and see it as a good thing. [which then together circling back on can discuss further]. 

If your SO is not wanting to talk about something right then, (needs to take a break, or to pray and consult Scripture/pastor/elders/godly someone first), how do you respond to that? 

If You arent wanting to talk about something at that moment, perhaps its too early to, or you had other things on your mind, are focused on something, or need to take care of something more important, how do you communicate it? Is it irritation responses, rudely shutting down cinvos

Do you ever shut down convos and not communicate on a topic to avoid it, and it never gets discussed? Or do you try to deal with it right away as quick as possible? 

Do you think your thoughts, views and situation are more important than hurting your SO feelings, shutting her down and harming the relationship? 

Do you listen to your significant other, discuss things, take her thoughts, views and reasons into consideration, before making decisions? 

💥Are you the kind of person to hide things from your gf/fiance/wife. [Anything, lying etc].

💥Do you use a simple dumb phone?

💥Do you use a smart cell phone, and on it a lot? 

💥What do you typically do on it?

💥Do you have a seoerate phone for wirk, preventing your company from spying and data collection [anythung in your phone], to protect yourself and those you interact with?

💥 Do you believe if you are in a committed relationship [dating to marry, courting, or married] that you bith should have anytime access to each ithers phones & devices, [even "Covenant Eyes" for accountability and transparency]? 

💥Do you have hidden files and images on your phone? [Check for hidden images and file folders]. 

💥Can I see your cell phone [look through it right now].

💥Do you pray prior to meeting up, & with your gf before and after your meet up, as well as over food together? 

====Mental state and illnesses====

Do you feel emotions strongly?

Do you have any bpd or Bipolar diagnoses?

Do you have autism?

💥Have you ever "dealt with" any childhood, college or workplace trauma? Have you fully healed (having gotten biblical counseling & worked through it & see it rightly, resolved it... having put it in the past & have moved on to where it doesnt affect you anymore)? [*Important to know, cuz all kinds of issues can pop up in a relationship (soon/later on) if this isnt dealt with & dealt with properly]. 

Do you have ptsd? What's the topic/issue around the trauma? [*Important to know, cuz all kinds of issues can pop up in a relationship (and as a father himself later on) if this isnt dealt with]. 

Is your ptsd military related? 

💥Have you ever been kept for psych evaluation? 

💥Have you ever been on suicide watch?

💥Have you ever been suicidal?

💥Have you ever been depressed?

💥Have you ever got biblically treated to overcome it?

💥Have you ever been kept by a facility or police for mental watch? 

💥Have you ever been suicidal? 

💥Have you recently/ Are you currently suicidal?

💥What are your thoughts and beliefs on suicide? 

Have you been depressed before? How did you overcome it? What did you learn from it? Why were you depressed? Did you realize it was a problem? How long before you realized? Did you seek help by a biblical counselor and your pastor? Or other people and ways? 

Have you had anxiety before? We're you ever living regularly with anxiety? Tell me about it, the circumstances, etc. What did you learn from it? How long before you realized? Did you seek help by a biblical counselor and your pastor? Or other people and ways, incl. medication ? 

Have you had a pride issue in the past which fueled arrogant mindframe and a aelf righteous attitude? Do you think you have a pride or ego issue now? 

Do you ever get visibly angry?

Do you yell at people?

Do you ever throw things? 

Do you hold grudges?

Do you bring things up from the past?

Do you have bitterness attitudes?

How do you handle those situations? 

Do you ever seek counsel and help working through an issue? 

Do you go to the person you hurt verbally & emotionally to reprnt and reconcile, swiftly? 

How often have you fought argued with previous girlfriends?

Have you ever hit a girlfriend or woman?

Has there ever been a restraining order on you?

How do you handle traffic. Mentally and verbally 

Do you ever have Road rage?

How easily do you forgive and forget?

How do you deal with problems?

Have you ever physically fought with someone as a preteen, teen or adult? 

Do you have a criminal record or Juvie record, if so for what?

Have you ever been arrested?

Have you ever committed other crimes? Is anyone in your family or friend groups or close coworkers: former criminals, currently incarcerated, or actively incolved in criminal activity? 

Have you ever scammed anyone? Are you still actively involved in scamming? Are anyone in your family or friend groups or close coworkers scammers? 

Have you stolen money, or committed any kind if online scams, worked fir scammed companies, or committed NFC hacking/scams? Are you still involved in any of these crime activities? 

Is anyone in your immediate family or friend groups or close relatives involved in crime, currently or in the past? Have any been in juvie, jail or prison? Are any still there? What all for?

What do you think respect is? 

Define respect.

Give several examples of what you think your wife would do or say that shows respect.

How do you handle situations where maybe she isnt disrespecting you, but you made an assumption that she did/is? 

Is your inner man thinking godly and loving her regardless, or would you get angry or resentful?

When things dont go as you want or think they should go in a relationship (or your wife), are you a gridge holder, getting bitter and even or bring up past wrongs or percieved wrongs? Or do you think godly and treat her well regardless, alomg with discuss it patiently & kindly, see her perspective, and are repentant/ forgiving , showing grace and not seeking "your" way in the flesh but Christlike behavior in "love".

Which one is you(?) and discuss it. 

How often do you seek godly counseling? 

Have you ever sought counseling from your Pastor on life related topics 

In the last 5 years, have you sought helpful counseling or guidance from the mature godly men in the mens group at church, & if so do you feel comfortable sharing some examples.  

Have you ever sought counseling from your Pastor on faith related topics, if so give some examples.  

What things concern you in relationships that you would prefer to avoid? 

What are things you want to avoid in a relationship, that you've learned from past experiences? 

In what ways have you grown and matured as a person and man from previous relationships?

💥As a man, what man in a tv or movie character do you feel your personality is:

-not like... 

-would never be like... 

-are more similar to... 

-would like to be more like.... (admire)

=trying to find out more about him. 

💥What tv shows, and genre of shows do you prefer? And what channel apps do you mostly watch (business, investing, hunting, boating, diving, relaxation, family, comedy, mind lulling, etc). What was your preference 5 years ago? What do you plan to spend time on this year and next year?

💥Name top 10 shows you watch, [and then] the top 8 app channels. 

Do you believe in lifelong learning or just what little as possible, or prefer not to read or study anymore? (Both for life and work related)

What does a typical vacation look like for you? And other examples(?).

Are you an adrenaline addict?

Are you addicted to outdoor activities? 

===

 ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ reorder:

Do you work out at a gym or a home gym?

If we date or marry, to help affair proof our relationship, would you be willing to only work out at home? And sometimes together doing outside activities? 

Can you change your life so your focus is now on your fiance/wife, and not, time wasted working out? Especially limiting the workout to just lightly what's necessary? Not excessively? Not more than an hour a day and be able to let it go that day if other priorities and plans are made, or if young child care is the priority? [There's different seasons in someone's life, and we have to be flexible and willing to change or cut out things like sports snd working out, to avoid neglecting new duties and responsibilities as a husband and father.]

How would you affair proof your activities and gatherings around friends, at office parties, weddings etc, to safeguard your marriage, and your purity of mind? 

Would you affair proof yourself in your career at the office and around clients? And actively maintain that? 

What is your view on what people call office wife? How would you handle it or respond if someone said yesterday to you at work? 

If guys you work with or clients point out women, or suggest affairs, how would you properly shut that down professionally, and remain faithful to your wife and marriage? 

💥====Dates======

*Some of these fall under financial qs. 

*You do not want to waste his hard earned money, be good stewardship of money snd frugal as much as possible. You are nit a queen, nor rich, and even if he was... rich stay rich cuz they budget and live within their means. Plus, if he might be your husband ine day, you dont want to go into a marriage broke. Be smart, and dont use him, [no Christian woman should think of using a guy!]. 

💥Since Covid era businesses are not only shrinking things and charging more, but theyre using unequal weights [biblically illegal- to decieve]. Since Shrinkflation and deception are here, ask what are ways you combat that to save money, and not get ripped off? What changes have you made? And, What concerns do you have on that related to dating expenses, and decisions you made,... that you also hope she aligns with you about?

💥Since covid era eating out has become a rare luxury, eatery prices are crazy now, and the food offered [extreme sodium, high fat, high carbs, high sugar, poor meal options by whats offered too] isnt even worth the higher prices. Are you more selective over the food you would eat when going out? And pick healthy options? Have you cut back on going out? What are some quality meals you would spend that kind of money on, or opt for a bit more pricier for a way better meal spread. [I'd rather go to fago 'd chow or kbbq than most American sit down places, and many chains I would never eat at again (anymore)]. Have this discussion. Know what hes willing to pay, his preferences, and make sure not to expect to go out more than 10% of the time, limiting it to special situations, and doing more picnic meals or finding places with discounts due to no customers [cuz costs are up]. Decide what kinds if dishes you would eat out, and anything normal you could cook at home is a "no" for eat out meals. 

💥What are alternative dates ideas you would like to try out? (*think up 10 to 15 each, and discuss). 

💥What is your time management like? [Is he the kind who is consistently late to get to dates or locations? Does he forget stuff and have to go back home? Does he use to do lists to make sure he has everything taken care of and packed in his car (in an organized way), arriving 20 min early, or getting yall somewhere 15 min early for parking, and getting to the reservation or start of the outing/event? Does he even notify you of an unexpected rare delay (after knowing it takes him 18 min to get to you when he shouldve left, excluding the pre departure toilet stop, and sudden traffic issue out of nowhere & detours not on gps)?

========Travel & Day trips =======

Where are countries you have no desire to ever go to?

Since popular EU countries in in recent years (2020-2025) have been overrun with illegal Arabs and Muslims, and crime has skyrocketed and us unsafe for women and girls... besides those places (1), where would you like to travel to? 

[*This helps him know you are not going to those countries to visit, vacation nor travel to. Many guys bring women there and really bad stuff happens. Never ever go with a guy to Islamic countries, and never travel with him (without godly chaperones & family) till married anyway --> all that can wait till youre married]. 

When you think about short getaways like weekends or 3 day weekends, what are things you like to do and would want to do if you took a day outing for on dates ? [*Youre just seeing what he has interest in, as far as time together, but never go away with him, and if you go on a day trip like a date, take 1-2 godly able bodied chaperones)

====Content and online usage===

How much tv and YouTube do you watch daily, and in the weekends?

What do you watch? [Find out, Is it for spiritual growth or waste of time?]

Do you use tv shows as a form of escapism? To avoid doing things that need to be done at home, including spending time with your spouse. 

If you watch Christian content online fairly regularly, when you have time, what kind do you watch?

How do you safeguard and actively pursue holiness and "purity" while on the internet and apps ? Safeguarding from sexual sins in thoughts.

💥Have you ever watched porn?

💥When was the last time you watched porn?

💥Have you ever tried conquering it?

💥Have you ever sought counseling to conquer the sin if pornographt?

Have you ever played out sexual fantasies online (incl forums or video games).

====Who you watch====

Do you watch archived sermons from your pastors? 

Tell me the main pastors you watch online, and the ones who have influenced you over the years. 

[*is he watching solid preachers or any charlatans and prosperity/new ager folk].

💥How has your local church pastors, elders and other leaders there influenced your life, & made an impact on your spiritual growth?

===Computer / online usage/ Phones===

What do you use your home computer & devices for?

💥Do you use Gptchat and similar Ai services? What do you mostly use them for? How often do you use them? What kind of things have you asked it recently incognito? Do you use paid version? Have you ever [& do you now] use the erotica/18+ version? Have you ever asked it suicidal questions or how to commit crimes? If you ask it Faith or Spiritual questions, do you use careful guidelines? (Discuss) [resources to consider to robustly talk about]:

●http://longertweets.blogspot.com/2023/09/using-ai-as-resource-for-christians.html

●https://believersanswers.blogspot.com/2025/04/can-ai-be-used-for-personal-bible-study.html?m=1

●http://believersanswers.blogspot.com/2025/07/ai-usage-and-parameter-ideas.html

💥Do you rely on ai or do you use critical thinking skills and not just go with what ai results state? 

💥Do you use Ai to assist with communicating something to others in part but not not in full; ensuring you edit it well, add your thoughts and etc to it so its from you as a human [with a soul & the Holy Spirit influencing you]? 

💥Have you encountered instances where ai said untrue things, tried to change your beliefs [such as morals based in biblical Christianity vs pagan culture worldviews]? 

How are you pursuing sexual purity? Have you grown in the Fruit of self control in that area? 

How much of a temptation is fornication and other sexual sins for you in recent past, and currently? 

What do you do [boundaries] to prevent leading a woman into sexual temptation with you, and into sexual sin? 

Have you watched porn before? 

When was the last time you watched it?

Have you conquered that sinful porn addiction?

Would you commit to actively 💥conquering that sin prior to engagement? With the help of biblical counselors & your pastor, along with accountability with the godly mature men in the leadership and mens group to help disciple, hold you accountable to pursue holy living, including church discipline, and having a other plan to prevent such sins in the future once you have believed you conquered it? 

Would you positively recieve your significant other's counsel and call to repent and correction if you're caught sinning, or reveal it in honesty, so you can work to totally slay that sin, permanently? 

What are the main Facebook groups youre active in in Christian community, if any?

What forums do you engage in or follow on social media?

How much time do you spend online, on social media and other apps. Are there any indications you have an addiction. 

💥This Q is not in a creepy or stalking siruation, but for proper trust, accountability & communication: 

Once engaged and married, (and open to during dating/courting) do you believe it is important for accountability, integrity and for affairs proofing the relationship that both people should know each others access codes, have full access to their phones & devices, and have Covenant Eyes as well as location tracking to ensure propriety behavior and for safety? Discuss this. 

💥 Did you/your family decide to not to let kids use social media (age 11-18)? And even not use devices/apps as a young child (2-10)? 

💥-If they allowed some usage, was it monitored well? What did you use (apps/features)? Did you ever find & use work arounds? How about with friends? And what did your digital life around them look like? We're you not allowed to hang out at frirnds but they could hang out at yours [for true parental supervision]? 

💥How often as a pre teen did you post on social media? What apps did you use? 

💥How often as a teen did you post on social media? What apps did you use? 

💥Have you in the past (as a young person and as young adult/even now) had a social media presence where you posted a lot/regularly/daily? [Was it Faith based (had intentionality), or focusing on self and boasting?]?

💥Have you in the past (as a young person and as young adult/even now) had a social media presence where you posted lives, videos, shorts, stories, snaps, etc [with a me focused, (attention seeking)]? 

💥We're you ever bullied online/phone/chat groups by students, "friends" or others from K-College? Can you share about that, and how you handled it, how you've overcome or look at it now, [perspective biblically based]?

💥We're you ever the one bullying or being with those who do (online/phone/chat groups) as students, to "friends" or others from K-College? 

💥How do you envision a couple's (indiv too) online presence, at office time online, [etc] should look like? [*Should they have access to all emails, accounts, & social media [w passwords] for accountability, integrity and nothing to hide? Should they have a joint social media account so former access aren't used anymore (*simply posting on prev access "Married/closed" as last post there), [obv not deleted cuz if he dies or leaves you, you want your old account to reactivate. You can add your new contacts to your old acct (as you go, as back up) just in case he tries to control you and delete anyone off your couples acct so you cant reach them anymore, if relationship goes bad or a seperation/divorce might be in the near future (whether you know it or not)]. 

💥====Medical====

💥How often do you go to the doctors? 

💥Do you do annual check up?

💥Have you ever broke bones?

💥 Ever had major surgery, or anything removed, any metal added? 

💥If you have been sexually active in the past, or recent, whenever the last time was, if ever, how recently have you had a HIV and Hepetitis and STD testing done? [Not trying to marry someone with those]. Would you go with my father to your doctor to ensure clean bill of health today, right before engagement, and just prior to the wedding? [If a person vetted as integrity/trustable, you shouldnt fear he slept with someone at a bachelor party or night before wedding].

💥Car accidents? 

-What was the medical and outcome like? 

-did you have long term recovery snd sny residual back or neck problems?

-any rotator cuff damage or tears?

===Dental===

What is your dental hygiene like?

Do you have any dental work to be done still?

Do you have cavities or root census still needing to be done?

Have you had wisdom teeth removed?

When was the last time you had deep cleaning done on entire mouth? 

Do you always floss daily and brush 2 to 3xs day?

Did you have braces done, and are you maintaining it? 

💥 Had several fillings or root canals? 

-missing any teeth? Got any bridges or implants? 

====Eating habits====

What are your eating habits like?

Do you chew with your mouth open?

Do you slurp food?

Do you have bad eating habits, and are you working to correct them at all?

What foods do you not like to eat

What foods or edible items are you allergic to?

Do you eat blood sausage?

Do you eat shellfish? Do you eat raw fish?

Do you eat any meats or eggs, or shellfish raw? 

Do you eat a lot of shellfish? And how often?

Do you eat spicy food? If yes, what level? 1-10 (7 being spicy Korean, 10 being Thai hot). 

What kind of desserts do you like? 

Do you like pastries and chocolates,or do you try to avoid carbs but might have s little if in France or Italy?

Do you eat out a lot, is it convenience or laziness? 

💥-some swap meal prep delivery for saving time. 

💥-others meal prep once a week to eat healthy. 

Do you cook.

If yes, and well, discuss.

If dont, ask if he would do some cooking courses together on dates, to learn basics, and more intermediate of foods you could eat, with a personal certified cook. So that prior to and when married both can cook, prep, help, and make meals. 

 How well, what kinds of meals do you make?

Is it from scratch? 

What spices do you use often?

💥Do you focus on anti inflammatory meals so you prevent heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol and heart attack? 

How much salt and sugar do you use when cooking?

Do you intentionally look for low to no salt and sugar recipes? More healthy ones? 

What are your favorite cuisines [Koresn, Thai, Italian, American, bbq etc]? 

*Put them in order of preference. 

What are your favorite foods?

What are your favorite meals?

What cuisines are you least open to [list the better to worst], and specify why or dishes.

What foods and side dishes do you like?

What foods and sides do you sort of dislike but will eat?

What foods or sides do you not want to eat due to taste?

Can you eat soup and stews? What are preferences, and dislikes?

How much fish do you eat? And how often?

Do you eat eggs? What about milk?

What cheeses do you like? 

What do you eat for breakfast and what dont you like at breakfast?

How often do you eat cheese?

===Hygine====

Are you a clean person?

Have you ever lived alone, do you now or live at home? If stepchildren hime, what is the move out plan to begin adulting? 

If you moved out and live alone, or what your practices are at home....

Is your home Dirty with things tossed about, or orderly and tidy? 

Do you Leave clothes out?

How often do you wash your clothes

And towels? 

How often do you do laundry?

Do you do your dishes right away after use?

When you eat is it usually home cooked, packaged. Frozen pkg or delivery/eat out?

Why do you eat that type [savings, time, etc]? 

Do you leave dirty dishes lying around, or any wrappers and food stiff? Or do you put it away when done?

Do you only eat at the table, or do you eat at the TV, living room snd ither rooms? 

Do you wash your hands good with soap after every bathroom visit?

Do you wash your hands before you eat?

💥How often do you shower?

Do you wash up good before intercourse to protect her from bacteria and other problems? 

===Parents===

How far away from your parents do you want to live? 

How far away from my parents do you prefer to live? 

Is where you live now [if in a house] in relation to your parents, siblings and other family?

Do your parents or siblings visit you often? Is it too often? What's considered too often?

Is the location far enough away that your parents dont visit? 

When parents or family visit, do they respect you to call and see if they can come over? 

======Home life questions ====

Did you grow up with your biological parents? If not, what was the situation.

Did you ever go into foster care due to situations at home?

Did your parents ever fight a lot?

Did your parents or siblings ever get a serious illness or disease?

Did you ever get in trouble a lot at school or at home?

What did life look like as a child, 6-8 the grade and high school

What were your interests in school during those times. 

Did you play a lot outside or only at school and the park. 

We're you allowed outside 

Did you play sports, music or have hobbies growing up? Share details.

Is it an obsession, bordering on or is idolatry, or moderately....do you just watch game highlights on YouTube after a game ends (and move on with your day? 

Do you spend all your free time with that hobby? 

Are you addicted to video games or online games? 

[*If music, and they play guitar or drums it was likely to pick up girls]. 

If they play an instrument [like violin 🎻], is it for their career or church orchestra? [*if so, they likely hardly have any free time, as they practice all day every day. If serious violinist you can tell cuz they have a dark spot under their chin, and will have no free time for you. So find out if theyre teaching now (reg hours), or still trying to get famous or keep famous status; super busy]. 

If your parents professed Christ while you were young, did they live out their faith at home, and teach and educate you daily in the Lord? Give examples

Tell me about the pets you owned and raised. If dogs, did any of them ever hurt your siblings, or other dogs or people? 

What was your parents disciplinary style like? 

What did the main holidays look like? Expand on it in general and spiritually. 

Are gatherings peaceful and enjoyable, or chaotic, loud and have fights and drunks? 

What is the behavior of how his parents roles in the home were & are? Is the dad lazy and the wife does everything 247 365 to exhaustion? Will he likewise mimic that in what he thinks marriage is like? If theyre not like this, does he highly respects his dad, or mom, would listen to them, so if problems arise they could have a serious talk about his role as husband & leader at home? 

What was the home life like? Was it a closed hime, reserved omly for family (were friends and others not allowed over, or rarely)? Or was it an open home (anyone could come over any time, without notice)? How you expect life at home to be, is a convo you need to have, otherwise you'll be running around like a headless chicken always cleaning and never having rest, due to anxiety of a open home situation. If the home isnt a haven, a retreat from the world, and a place for family, it can become chaos (especially if hes got rowdy friends always over, and your husband will likely be expecting you to wait on them half and foot, unending,... all the time). 

=====Childhood====

Did you grow up with parents, family, foster care or an orphan till 18? 

We're you adopted or biological?

If adopted: 

We're you foreign adopted or domestic? 

Have you tried to find birth parents, or feel it disrespectful to the ones who adopted you to look for them? 

Do you have negative thoughts due to being abandoned by bio parents? Or do you thank God that he put you in the adoptive family home to preserve your life, care for you, and give you a family?

--

As a child, preteen or teen, Did you ever go places unsupervised by your parents?

Did you ever lie to your parents and go to places where you were not where you said you would be?

Did your parents contact the parents of the home you claimed you were going to be at to ensure you actually were where you said you would be? Was there any time(s) you weren't where you said you were, and any where you were found out got in trouble? Explain. How did your parents discipline that behavior? 

Did you ever get in trouble at school? 

We're you a bully, got picked on, beat up, ostracized, average kid, 

What "group" would you say you were in if you had to categorize it? 

Did you go to protestant church school, home school, homeschooling co op, charter, private or religious school growing up? 

Did you move schools die to a relocation ir moving elsewhere? 

====Parents & Family ====

Would your family have issues if we are not the same ethnicity, or are mixed? 

What's the ethnic makeup of your family & their spouses?

Have any of them adopted other kids? How old were they when adopted? Are some newly adopted and older than 8? 

Are any of your parents or grandparents immigrants? If so when did their family move here, and from what country?

Are you an immigrant? 

Did you come here from abroad for high school & college with plan to move back home? 

If here as a student, most plan to get a job here for experience and then move back to home country, what are your plans? 

How involved are your parents in your life, due to paying for your education? Is it all paid in full in advance for 4-7 years, or do they hold power over you because they pay those costs and rent and expenses? 

What do your parents do for a living, what careers and jobs did they do in the past, and are they retired?

Did they ever work for the government?

💥We're they in the military? 

💥What did they/do your parents [and siblings & inlaws] do for work? 

💥What organizations [or ministry] do your parents, siblings and in laws a part of?  

Did your parents or grandparents, or older sibling go through the '89/90-91, 2001, 2007/2008 and 2020-2025 economic downturns and experience severe financial difficulty, how did they handle it & were there any suicides in the family?

If it happened to you, and you lost everything, what would your first thoughts be, and how would you move onwards? What wisdom and mindset would you actually have? [*Would it be persevering and trusting God to lead you onward and care for you & your family, or crumble and become a drunkard, or worse possibly kill your family like many did in 2007/2008 in murder suicides cuz your life collapsed?]

Will you commit to [in writing] not making any financial decisions without discussing it together and coming to a agreed decision. To prevent accumulating bad decisions which threatens our finances, future and current stability. Like at a weekly couples meeting. 💥

💥Will he take your godly counsel into consideration, let you voice & discuss it, or ignore and shut you down, or avoid all conversations to do with any/varied decisions or things you need to talk about or get him to consider? Hes the ultimate decision maker, but you should always be included, having s voice. Hes responsible for the family and consequences of those outcomes. You just have to trust God and submit to his lead. But you want a guy who will now and always respect and seek your input, not be sneaky or avoid looping you in. 

Do your family and or friends hit you up for money? Do you give it to them? 💥Discuss this with him. [*If hes constantly giving money away, he cant say no or try to help them by guiding them to financial advisors or the church. Its a red flag]. You'll go broke, he wont say no, and when yall-your family needs money, it wont be there. 

We're you in the military, or a military like organization (govt related or not)?

What branch?

How long were you in?

Where were you deployed? 

Where were you stationed? 

Did you go to a specialty school after bootcamp?  

💥Did you ever fail out of military boot camp?
💥Did you ever try for police or govt security like job and either fail the background check, or didn't pass the test (or were failed out or left the academy or training)? 

Did you ever go AWOL from mil? 

We're you a traitor, or foreign spy? Did you ever do spy work (committing a crime) whether foreign or domestic? 

Did you ever commit a crime in the military (such as theft, assault, sexual as assault, rape, kidnapping or murder of a military member or civilian, do or sell drugs), [whether guilty judgment rendered or commanders swept it under the rug, or dealt with under administrative vs criminal (not going to trial) ] ? 

https://youtu.be/hwFwz6ga6Gg?si=_RnF_rNEVWz15Ihb

We're you honorably discharged? 

We're you medically discharged? 

If you left on your own after discharge, why did you leave? 

Do you now or have you ever been contracted with DOD or other company and did work in or for companies working in Arab Middle East countries? 

Are you now in CIA, NSA or a govt agency, or working in private military, security, or similarly related type organization currently?

Are you serving as a Ambassador or diplomat of the US or foreign govt? 

💥Did you sleep around fornicating while in military? 

*Are there any possible kids you are or will become financially obligated to support? [Is he willing to do DNA tests with those 2 organizations to see if any kids are out there? As it will wreck your life together financially, if any exist, seriously]. 

We're any immediate family or grandparents military? Are any still serving? Did any retire? 

💥We're any traitors? Dishonorable discharged? Went AWOL? Etc

Is anyone in your immediate family working in private military, security, or similarly related type organization currently? [*concern is your general safety if he works at such places]. 

Is anyone in your family serving as a Ambassador or diplomat of the US or of a foreign govt? [with diplomatic immunity]

💥Are any friends or in laws "foreign nationals", who work at an embassy or/& have diplomatic immunity? 

💥Have they ever been justly fired from a job, if so why? 

Do your parents have hobbies? What, and how much of their life does it take over, and do they try to rope you in, or require your involvement? 

💥How involved are your parents in their kids lives?

💥Are your parents narcissist, or try to be in your business/interfering in your life?

Are you a momas boy? 

Are any of your parents or grandparents, or siblings, widowed? 

Are both of your parents still married? 

💥If divorced, was it biblical reasons? Dud they remarry?

💥Are they in lgbt lifestyles? 

Have any of your parents or grandparents died?

Growing up did your family have to care for their parent or other family member?

Did your family ever adopt or foster kids?

How was life for you and your parents during Covid era? 

Did your family lose any immediate family, friends, or extended friends to Covid, or cancer? 

Do any of your family have asthma or allergies?

Did any grandparents or parents get dementia, or other debilitating diseases? 

Are any family members in a wheelchair or blind? 

Have you and your siblings already discussed how things will work for when your parents need assisted care? Has it been decided legally in writing so theres no fighting or non responsibility situations happening when the time comes? 

Are you wanting them to stay in their home as long as possible with a strong nurse on shift duty? [avoiding live in for squatter nightmare]. 

Do your parents own a home, live in one, or got a home at a older age thst has a mortgage? If the latter, has the mortgage issue been discussed in the family as to who will take over the home, or how it will be used as a vacation home (with all the details worked out legally in writing), or be sold and money be split or donated to Church and charity of their choice?

Did your family grow up wealthy, well off, just getting by or poor?

Did your parents have to pay child support for any children from other earlier relationships?

Did you have to interact with those kids at home, or were they not part of your life....what did that look like? 

Did your grandparents or parents have a life of adultery, or infidelity? If so, how did it affect their spouse... and the family,... and you? How did it affect the family and home? 

Did your grandparents or parents have a life of drunkenness or drug use? If so, how did it affect their spouse... and the family,... and you? How did it affect the family and home? How does it affect the family relationships now?

Did your grandparents or parents, or siblings have a life of thuggery? If so, how did it affect their spouse... and the family,... and you? How did it affect the family and home? How does it affect the family relationships now?

Are there family members you avoid or stay away from or choose to not interact with today because the above problems are still an issue? 

Have you ever played dress up (as a kid or teen) with women's clothes?

Did your grandparents or parents, or siblings smoke cigarettes, cigars, pipes, weed etc? Are any of them professing Christians? Has second hand smoke harmed anyone in your family? 

What are your siblings kids behavior like? 

How are their parents disciplining and trying to correct the behavior, or do they not, and make visits with them around, miserable? Are any of those kids parents professing believers? 

Who among the professing believers in your family go to church, and who are active members, and who moved to a solo path while still professing? Are the latter and any others more than likely false converts? 

Have any immediate or extended family members Mormon, Jehovah witness or Muslim? [What beliefs do family have?]

Do any siblings drop their kids off on the grandparents on weekends, or any dump them at church (as babysitters so they have time off)?

Do any of your siblings use your parents as forced babysitters for their kids?

💥[*] create a xls chart for a check off list for who and what above, numbering the questions for the chart. And for other questions.

How involved are your parents in your life? 

Is your mom or parents control freaks, who will try to insert themselves in your life, and cause drama during engagement, with wedding costs and control, or try to be up in our lives after married? 

Are they busibodies who will try to tell you how to raise your kids, and put you down as if what choices you make require their control over you, or are you a man who can and will tell them you've made choices and decisions on your own as an adult no longer are under their roof and rules? 

Can he stand up to them and say no, gracefully but with authority as the lead? And stick to it? How can you test this? Has he done it before- if so get the details from him. How did his parents react? 

💥===Sexual ===

*Thought I had this listed, but pull from varied above Qs. Had them listed up there to catch them offguard, in convos, for genuine responses

💥===other Sexual ===

Porn questions need to also be asked. Is noted in other above sections. 

💥Do you have any fetishist? 

💥Have you ever had an Ai relationship ? 

💥Have you ever had feelings/fantasy ideas about Anime characters? [& is he following, collecting, watching stuff like a fanatic, going to comic cons etc]? 

💥 Has/Does he have any feelings for, drawn to, or used to towards furries/otherkin? 

💥Have you ever been involved in groups or places, messaging, videos, etc with people irl or online (or both), [or with Ai] that's deviant sexual behavior, thoughts and interactions? Did you fully conquer that sin with the help of biblical counselors amd church accountability? Can I contact them to confirm it?). [*If he ever has, run girl... he will do it again, and is highly likely a false convert; he is not living in holiness]. 

💥Are you recently/currently involved in groups or places or with people irl or online (or both) thats deviant sexual behavior, thoughts and interactions? Are you living in and of it now, or under biblical counselors and church leadership guidance for continued accountability and correction, to fully conquer this? [If he ever has, run girl... he will do it again, and is highly likely a false convert; he is not living in holiness]. 

===Kids/Teens/Parenting====

💥Do you believe and expect the whole family, even kids and teens to be at church every week and whenever yall are there? Regardless of any rebellion attempts in preteen teen years [to train them up in the Lord]? (*Yes is the only answer). 

💥Do you see kids living at home until they marry?

💥Do you see kids living at home until they graduate college?

💥What age should they learn to drive, get a liscense, why and etc?

💥Should young teens & teens be allowed to work, or should they stay home and not work till 18?

-Does working young steal their youth?

-What kind of work will be allowed? 

-No solo work allowed, for their safety? 

-Would a job put them in worldly situations theyre not biblically spiritually prepared to encounter nor tackle yet?

-Would such work/a job have unsaved coworkers who might lure them (insecurity, fitting in, peer pressure) into sin (bad company corrupts good morals, not mature enough to know how to decline, even if mocked), such as befriending them at work, or beyond work hours, bad choices, drugs, smoking, drinking, not talking nor thinking nor acting purely about other humans, not getting entangled with unsaved folk, causing them to commit crimes at work, or blaming them as if they did? Or them mistreating your teen, leadung to not promoting, by giving wrong feedback to supervisors, getting him/her in trouble, bullying, etc cuz they dont like your kid or cuz theyre Christian? Or worse (by coworker, their pal, or a superior) encounter sexual harrassment problems, cameras found that sent images/videos on internet from changing room or bathroom, or even encountering rape? Young folk shouldn't have to encounter that stuff yet. 

💥Would jobs only be allowed at the Church, under supervision and strict precautions (& background checks)? 

====Other questions.====

💥diagnoses? 

💥====Finances ======

*Where'd these questions go,??

💥💥Whats something you've actively pursued and made progress on in your financial/finances life lately? Where are you at with it and what do you hope to accomplish in the next 30 to 60 days? 

💥Current financial status

💥Any bankruptcies?

💥How often does he "get away" & "take Vacations"? What are typical costs?

💥Does he have investments, trusts, financial stability? 

💥lease, rent, own vehicles? 

- outstanding owed on them ?

💥Own a home? / property?

-outstanding owed on ?

How much do you pay for your residence (lease/rent/mortgage)?

💥What property do you own or have on a mortgage? 

💥Any debt? College, vehicles, boats, homes, dental, medical etc? Whats the total?

-How quickly are you able to pay each (and all) off? 

*On College:

-are you aware over a decade (10 yes ago) a $17k college loan will cost $120k today from the interest?

 Calculate what all his loans will cost to pay off. And how fast he can pay it off. [Plus how fast is he actually actively aggressively pay these off??? & is that in his monthly budget?].

The borrower likely goes into forbearance, income-driven repayment, or default, causing unpaid interest to capitalize repeatedly. It ended up 22% increase annually. 

The nominal interest rate might have been ~6–8%, but the compounding plus penalties pushed the effective growth way higher.

Calculating for today its x 7.4

Public (In-State) $120,000 =$888,00

Public (Out-of-State) $196,000 = $1,450,00

Private (Nonprofit) $248,000 =$1,835,000

The in-state public student could owe almost $900,000 after 10 years if their loans spiral like that original $17k case.

A private college student’s balance could reach well over $1.8 million under identical conditions.

These numbers sound absurd — but they illustrate how interest capitalization and non-repayment can make even “normal” college debt unmanageable.

Even a doctor making $250K/year can’t cover a $10K–$20K monthly payment.

You’d need to make roughly $300K–$525K per year to pay off any of these college loans in 10 years.

That’s equivalent to the income of a specialist doctor, law partner, or high-level tech professional like CEO. Who starts out at those income levels? No one. 

You'd have to have $4-5k left over from what he earns in order to [for normal folk, with only that debt] have basic modern living expenses.

Public (In-State) ≈ $305K/year  

Public (Out-of-State) ≈ $437K/year 

Private (Nonprofit) ≈ $525K 

💥If he doesn't make more than that in take home annually [accounting for having enough for emergency medical expenses & job losses], dont date him nor take on that debt by marrying him. Do not do it!

He will eventually default, because the balance becomes unmanageable. Which is a bad witness, ruins lifes, and shows bad stewardship, bad integrity, etc. And will likely lead to stress, health issues, and divorce. 

Do not think "well I'll work too." No. Hes to be the provider and all should be lived off one income. You never know what life throws at both you [one could be disabled, need home care, die early etc], plus its a waste of money and mental peace [and not gofly parenting] to give your kids to heathen folk to teach them pagan stuff, show pagan worldviews and lifestyles (day care to public school) & around bad pagan kids, which altogether gets them pulled in that kind of life... plus those costs are crazy and not worth whatever piddly $ she would bring home. None of that is worth it. Do not ruin your life. 

⚠️If you likewise have that debt, do not marry him (or anyone).... till you pay it all off. Stop starting out life WRONG. 

💥-->>And on debts....thats just college...Not including credit cards, vehicle loans or mortgage. All has to be considered. 

💥Whats his 10 year plan, what's his current plan? Whats he actively paying now? How much does he have left for normal persons expenses/budget for living? What's his professional aggressive plan to actively keep going higher in his career, incl what that income looks like? What if hes out of a job fir a year? Whats his Plan B and C for paying all these things off? C or D might be what if he gets disabled somehow? Can he downsize and sell vehicles, home, etc to lower his debt, pay things off faster and is he willing to? Cuz he might be making stupid financial decisions right now. 

You need to know yalls financial health, and its a huge decision factor, to show one is not a marriage candidate [move on]. And don't try to trap him with your debt either. No matter if one or both of you have that debt. Prenump wont help cuz all the finance issues drain him ($), and he will become a diff person [stressed, angry, checking out mentally, socially, physically, relationally etc, maybe even give up]. 

💥Is he a Good steward of money?

💥What do you spend money on mostly?

💥What entertainment and etc do you spend regularly on money?

💥Do you have a budget? Do you live by it? 

💥Do you waste money in the budget, or

💥Is your budget focused on heavy saving, in investing & getting prepared to financially provide for your near future wife (and kids)?, [& paying off debt fast] -->>Or are you just blowing money? *[Kirks comment be telling you the kind of guy you need to pursue - a real man, not a boy or man child]. Ask if hes blowing money. 

💥Do you know of the Ostrich effect?

(Burying your head and Delaying by avoiding)

💥What are some things you're avoiding (in life/relationships/financial/etc) that's keeping you from moving forward or achieving goals ?

-💥Are you being intentional?

-💥What things are you being intentionally about?

-💥Which are most priority?

====Career=====

💥Where'd do you see yourself in next 5 and 10 years? God willing. 

💥Current work?

💥What career field in/desired?

💥Whats the work hours like?

💥Is it a position or near future one where there more hours expected to work? 

💥Are you working weekends? If yes, are you willing to change/reprioritize that & even the job company to ensure weekends off (for family & Church)? 

💥Whats something you've actively pursued and made progress on in your career life lately? Where are you at with it and what do you hope to accomplish in the next 30 to 60 days? 

💥What's the most disrespectful thing that ever happened to you at work and how did you handle it? 

💥Have you ever thrown any peer or company employee under the bus? to look good or get ahead? 

💥Have you ever dated or slept with a coworker or supervisor to get ahead, or for some other advantage? 

💥Have you ever done dishonest things to look good or get ahead at work?

💥Have you ever dated or had a relationship with anyone at work? 

💥What is your opinion of the trend of so called "office wife"? 

💥How would you handle a situation where another employee (knowing or not knowing your dating, engaged or married) flirts, makes a pass at you or tries to entice you to be unfaithful/have an affair? Do you even recognize that behavior? What would you say? How would you stop it? Would you report them if they truid again? Would you tell your gf/fiance/wife, and change companies if needed, be like Joseph who even fled to avoid it & the appearance of impurity? 

💥How would you [him] handle interactions with females in profession/professional environment/office/vendors/clients &companis your company does business with? Discussion to include boundaries and policies such as not being alone around any woman, communication boundaries, etc. Putting firm boundaries in place to ensure no slipping nor slippery slope leasing to thoughts or actions that violate marriage covenant and godly living. 

https://youtu.be/bUhttIVI9oo?si=7K-66hqI4HaY8q8j

=== Home Leadership & Love related====

💥If something needs to be done at home, do you procrastinate or tackle it right away/fairly quickly? 

💥Have you already and are you now, focused on cooking healthy, keeping the place clean, managing chores and your every day needs up? Or are you lazy and leave trash piling up and dont clean. +-- if you live at home are you leaving all thst work to your mom like a user like bum, or are you actively helping and serving lovingly in the home? 

💥Are you preparing already for, having a real understanding of what leading the home looks like day to day and towards your wife? How its self sacrificing, not being served, but a servant to her and the kids, as you lead. 

💥Would you typically look for ways to help your wife by daily & actively both, 1. seeing something that needs to be done and doing it without being asked (such as dishes, dinner, cleaning, laundry, tidying up, shopping, putting thungs away), and 2. daily asking what you can do to can help (remove work, stress and things piling up that help, which in turn also helps your wife have some time with you and some to herself).?

💥How do you feel about a prioritized to do list, both one you make yourself, or one your wife adds to for today, this week, this month type needs for things to be done or help with?

💥Do you see yourself years after marriage, still taking your wife out for a day/weekend getaway nearby, for a time together (& to show love & appreciation) for a trip somewhere, [even low cost if on a tight budget], a drive, outing, event, going to walk or drive to the beach, a picnic like outing, going to a art store or show, or to local gardens, and eat something [brought, prepared bought, or dine in], and regularly give her flowers [not just on special occassions]? How will you plan for that so theres no complacency? And put in annual budget and put in the annual year plan out. 

💥Would you think it is good to, and would you commit to an Annual year end [Oct] goal and life planning for you as a couple, [and with family once you have kids], to ensure your striving towards that? (Would include couples outing plans [with babysitting and animal care plans], vacation [with babysitting if possible, and animal care plans,, and Sunday worship], serving with gifts at church,  spiritual growth, personal growth, sermons & books to read for spiritual, personal, business, leadership, financial, parenting, etc).

==wedding===

💥What do you envision your wedding to look like? 

💥Do you strongly feel the wedding stuff should be decided by the bride and groom, without interference of parents, even if they cut purse strings over it? [*you want to know he is not a mamas boy and is assertive enough to stand up to his/your parents and say no]. 

💥Do you want a tiny wedding, (even jotp at a public or yard gazebo), a small wedding somewhere, thats very affordable and not putting yall in debt, or a big fancy expensive wedding? 

💥What are his thoughts/request preferences for what her dress looks like? (*Whats not allowed. If hes thinking modesty [no clevage etc], but freedom).

💥What are his request preferences for what her dress costs? Is it smarter as a buy or rental? 

💥Is he ok with a chaperoned bachelor party, and is he going to plan for and ensure it is a clean gathering without immoral activities there. [Does he plan to skip that event and just have a joint pre wedding gathering with closest friends, and no alcohol?]. 

====

💥===Politics===

💥 Are your politics informed by biblical truth (in context, & aligning with love & fruit of the Spirit; restired communicable attributes ), or sinful worldviews by pagan culture here? 

💥 Do you love America (USA)?

💥 What do you love about USA?

💥Are you Independant, Republican or Democrat? [*This is an unequally yoked area as loads of fights will take place if one of you is Democrat]. 

💥What ideologies predominantly in your political party go against what Scripture teaches, if looked at in context? 

💥 In what areas do you believe change is needed in black/hispanic communities, to make their lives and this nation go in the better right direction? 

💥 Do you support illegal immigration, or a massive overhaul on enforcing US laws, protecting our borders, and removing folk here illegally?

💥 Do you agree the 14th ammendment was for (and to be kept to, as intended) ensuring the freedom slaves and their children were considered citizens? And that what's going on today (anchor babies) needs to be rectified? 

💥 Should only those born here as citizens (since illegals started becoming a problem, leading to what it is today), should we only cinsider them citizens if both parents were citizens, and their parents, and their parents, and their parents (since 1980)? And revoke any amnesty granted by prev administrations?

💥Is it best that illegals being deported take their family wuth them, and lose citizenship due to the prev discussed? Allowing them to become citizens of their parents nation of origin? Making a clean sweep of this issue in US?

💥 Are you aware of the contents of the Constitution and Bill of Rights?

💥 Did you ever (and do you now) support pro Palestine activism, and were you ever involved in protests against Israel? [Has he gotten educated about it (outside the propoganda) & repented?]

💥 Are you aware of who Thomas Sowell is? And are you familiar with his content/books/speeches? Ask him to discuss some things hes explained and on views he has changed his mind on [leads to interesting convos].

💥Are you familiar with Voddie Baucham, his content/sermons/books & biblical views on social justice, crt, and woke topics? [Ask him to discuss some of what he learned from him on culture topics (sin not skin)].

💥 Have you ever (and do you still) support woke ideologies?

Define woke. 

Are you a socialist?

Are you a communist?

Are you in socialist, Marxist, communist groups online

Were/Are you a member if a socialist, Marxist, communist group online?

💥 Are you racist towards white folk? Even in your mind? What about towards other ethnicities? 

💥Did you ever (and do you now) join in, support BLM, activist activities?

💥 Have you ever been paid to participate in woke protests?

💥 Have you ever looted, damaged property or commited other criminal activities? 

💥Are you a ally to lgbt+ comminity? 

💥Are you a 5th wave Feminist, a 1st wave feminist, or not a feminist. Explain. 

💥 Do you view politics as a way to try to influence this nation (and the world) into Christian/biblical values, character and morals? 

💥 Do you view politics as not as important as eternal matters? (Are you rearranging the deck chairs on a sinking titanic, or focused on Christ & reaching souls?).

💥 In what areas do you believe.... [insert Qs]

💥Do you live with a victimization mentality?

💥 Are you aware Blacks owned white slaves in USA? And that the 1st slave owner here was black. 

💥 Do you support reparations for those in US who came from slavery here,

💥 Would you support reparations for those in US who came from slavery here, & who can prove theyre 100% African and from slave ancestry (with no white, Indian or other mixed ethnicity)? 

💥 Is the reparations movement today just another grifting opp "to get free stuff" at others expense, [who had 0 to do with slavery as you yourself havent]? 

💥 Do you understand 600k White folk died to end slavery in USA, and there should be no reparations?

💥===other====💥

Are tou a member or former member, or looking to join any secret society or fraternal organization? [*avoid these people!]

Have you ever drugged a girl

Have you ever got a girl drunk, with intentions 

Agree to a background check?

Agree to a medical check?

Name 3 people (each) who had the most impact on your life outside your family as a young person, college age and now.

Name some people alive or passed on whom you would like to be mentored by and what you think they can give, guide and help you with.

Have you ever sought out biblical counseling for life guidance, helps beyond Scripture, and or to help with a topic or need where extra input would be good to have? 

If not, why haven't you and what are a few situations you wish you had done?

What are 3 things (each) that you learned about yourself this year as a Christian, in your relationship with God, as a man, as a son, as a friend, and about yourself in your career/job?

What 3 things (above) are goals for you to reach towards the rest of the year/next year?

Have you lost money in a side gig or business?

Do you own a business? How profitable is it? How much did it profit last year, where is it this year, est year end profit (after all costs)? Do you own it 100%? Are any partners not born again (living holy lives); did you join unequally yoked? 

How many hours do you work?

Are you working less now that its been running x yrs? So you have more time, dedicated time, to spend in a relationship and in near future as a hisband? What are you doing to make that a reality?

Are you purposely ensuring evenings and weekends are off for rest, family and God?

What does your say look like start to end. Incl business. Are you chained to your phone or have a no contact policy after x hour (3/5 pm?) M-T,& no contact SS, unless absolute emergency?

What are your past self business experiences? Even as a kid. 

If you don't have a business, what have you thought of or looked into ( including roi/profits in reality by year)?

==== Criminal/WitSec situation=====

Sussing out someone who might be in witness protection, to avoid getting tangled up with him:

Smart Preliminary Questions 

*Clever and subtle questions can help unveil any hidden backgrounds without raising alarms. 

General Background Questions

1. "What was your childhood like?"

   This question can lead to discussions about family dynamics and any potential disruptions that might hint at a complicated past.

2. "How often do you keep in touch with your family?" & "When was thd last time you talked with so and so"?

   A vague or uncertain answer could indicate estrangement, which might be a red flag.

More:

“What’s the first place you remember that felt like ‘home’?”

“Any family traditions you miss?”

"Have you ever lived in another State"?

“What did you do last weekend with friends?” (look for evasive or very short answers)

“Where do you like to go when you need to clear your head?”

“Who did you grow up with — siblings, neighbours, close family?”

“Is there a small thing from your childhood that still makes you laugh?”

"What's a comfort food of yours from childhood?" 

“What’s the one small thing you’d never let go of, even if the rest vanished?”

 “If you had to explain one thing about your history in a single sentence, what would it be?”

“When did you last run into someone who remembered you?”

 Lifestyle and Routine Queries

3. Tiny contradictions game: ask three mundane things quickly —> favorite pizza topping, childhood pet, first school — and watch the response rhythm.

"Do you like to travel? What’s your favorite place to visit?" & "What places did you like to travel to while in college and your younger years?" [Ask to show you photos (likely in Facebook or instagram; being aware of ai deception)]. 

   If the answer is evasive or lacking in detail, it may suggest the person has reasons to avoid travel.

4. "What do you enjoy doing on weekends?"

   A preference for solitude or unusual activities might imply a desire to stay under the radar.

Relationship Insights

5."What’s your take on trust in relationships?"

   This can lead to deeper discussions about vulnerability, and a cautious response may reveal issues with intimacy.

6. "What do you value most in your friendships?"

   If his emphasis is heavily on loyalty or secrecy, it might indicate a complex background.

Employment and Living Situation

7. "What were some jobs you held as young adult, maybe first job or a memorable company?" 

"What line of work are you in?" 

   A vague or overly cautious answer might suggest he's hiding something significant.

"Who was someone you worked with or mentored that you were impressed by, from a past memory, & whats the story?" Then ask what company. 

8. "Where do you live? What do you like about your neighborhood?"

   If he avoids specific details about his home environment, it could be a red flag.

Future Aspirations

9. "What are your long-term goals?" 

   If he hesitates or gives ambiguous answers regarding his future, it may indicate an uncertain or secretive lifestyle.

10. "Do you ever think about moving?" 

    An unusual emphasis on change or a desire to stay in one place for safety might reveal more than he intends.

11. A. Have you been approved by a college or higher education only to later be rejected on technicalities? B. Have you ever had to sit down with the admissions board to plead your case? 

[You're looking to see if its due to not having paperwork like a birth certificate]. 

12. "Have you ever been turned down or rejected for a small business loan or home mortgage?"

Many sec'rs identities are tied to new name with "no history" or "weak history", so they get flagged in these systems & rejected. 

Knowledge of Safety Concerns

13. "What are your thoughts on personal security?"

    Responses focusing overly on being cautious or protective may hint at past experiences that make him wary.

14. "What is your level of situational awareness?" 

Responses focusing overly on being cautious or more on the alert. 

15. "How do you handle confrontations?" 

    His answer could be telling; someone evasive or overly fearful might be concealing a need for safety.

16. "Are there any noises that cause you to jump?" [Like motorcycles, guns, etc, sth connected to the fear of what might be related to their past]

By sprinkling these questions into the conversation naturally, she can gauge the man's hidden past without raising any alarms or causing him to become defensive. Asking about deeper values and experiences often sheds light on someone's true character, allowing her to make informed choices about continuing the relationship.

Consider things like:  

Thin personal history in everyday ways — they dodge specifics about hometowns, use vague stories, or substitute small non-answers (e.g., “I moved around a lot” rather than dates/places).

Sparse online life — they aren’t on social media or have very few friends/photos, going back decades.

Overly private about mundane things — they avoid photos, resist sharing seemingly trivial things.  

Hypervigilance in small ways — watching exits, always choosing seats with a view, pausing before answering phones. Show this as mood/tension, not as an instruction manual.

Inconsistent micro-details — a birthday celebrated twice, a street name swapped, a childhood memory that changes with the mood. Such falsehoods they cant recall again later are red flag, tho mightve been coached with a new life, so dig deeper. 

Emotional distance and sudden intensity — warmth followed by withdrawal; moments of panic when a loud noise happens.

Practical evasions — frequent travel, using cash, short tenancy history.

End

Women: 

Theres loads of questions women need to ask themselves, and to be ready to answer on [for guys looking to marry, & not to just random guys (who might stalk or use it against you)], who likewise need to know appropriate info about you to decide if your compatible [and ensure youre drama free]. We're all a work in progress as long as were self aware and working on those things. Which is good to point out. If he asks sth & occassionally you dont know, say "thats a good question. Let me think about it and get back to you". Write a couples questions note in your phone and think about it, so you can give him an answer as soon as you have it [and provide at agreed timeframe and how to communicate it (in person @ next meet up, by email, by text etc - remembering online/ info can be retained ... so irl as much as possible so least data out there on you as possible). 

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