Love yourself, self love, self help?
Q: I'm struggling a lot. I'm supposed to be improving my self-love and mental health, and now idk how to do it. The self help books I read say put yourself first, but the Bible says put others first. Is the Bible saying to pour into others before pouring into yourself? The self-love advice says the opposite.
Also, I pray every day, and read my Bible, and am seeing all the promises He makes to his followers (such as peace and rest, or answered prayers) and I don't have any of that. But God is perfect and does this for plenty of other people, which makes it sound like it's my fault then these dont happen for me. Why would I love myself if He won't even answer my prayers or talk to me? And since He is the answer to all, that sounds like it makes me the problem. Any advice?
A: God calls us to be like Christ; conforming to His image. The world & its advice decieves saying love yourself, look inside yourself, & become the you you want to be, but Christians are to become like our Savior, being who we were originally called to be as image bearers of God. That means finding & conquering our sins, and living out the Fruit of the Spirit, while being guided by the Holy Spirit as we study and live out the truths of Scripture.
So we put God first, as we focus on being transformed by Him. And then we put others second, as "love" (biblically defined and flowing from God through us to others) defined means we are selfless sacrificing servants, out for the good of others, not selflessly focused on ourselves. That acronym spells JOY; Jesus, Others, Yourself.
We are to get our helps, guidance, counsel and life path & plan from Scripture. Not from books written by unsaved people (and false teachers/preachers). So, it would be good to dive deep into Scripture for a time, reassess, recalculate your route as you allow the washing of the Word to renew your mind. Then read it daily so it can lighten your path, and guide you. Memorize verses that help you in this area so you can recall it when the deceptive lies and ideas of demons try to lure you away again into error.
As to promises He makes to his followers (such as peace and rest), or answered prayers... you're looking at these wrong. (Likely due to false teachers). Consider if it appears folk are having answered prayers it's because that situation was in God's will, (if they dont do or use it rightly, theyll give account). For those in Scripture, we get to see the reasons (whether Job or anyone else), not the full outcome of it or our entire life, (besides knowing God will accomplish His goals, even when others mean an evil, he will work it out for good). For some folk these supposed prayer answers might be generally what was going to happen anyway, and in some ways that may be all they get in this life, if they are hellbound (as what they get here may only be sorta the only slice of Heaven they will know, tho undeserved), but not true for you (those Heavenbound). Focus on you serving God and eyes on Jesus, not focusing on others. We all have our role and diff works to accomplish in this life. We believers cant be [ungrateful,] complaining & discontent and thus sin against God by that mindset and attitudes. God is a good God, a loving Father who gives good gifts, and as he sees fit. You wont miss out on anything He has in store for you, here or in eternity. Trust Him.
By holding the beliefs you shared, I have a feeling you might be under a false teachers, false preachers and a false gospel [which has become prevalent today] who claim you'll get all these things if you follow "them and their teachings". You won't get those things, as theyre lies by those in idolatry, spinning demonic doctrines for several sinful selfish purposes. Those following after them are "wanting their ears tickled"(2 Timothy 4:3–4), lack discernment, and are easily led astray, likely cuz theyre also seeking to gain from their sinful selfish flesh focused agenda. They think God is a genie that does their bidding. And get angry at him (in tantrums or hurt ferlings) when they dont get what they want. God isnt below us, nor can we demand or tell Him what to do.
We were made for God, and redeemed through Christ, to serve Him, glorify Him, and live for Him, not ourselves. Salvation restores us and realigns us to our original purpose and design. Our focus isnt on things in this temporary world, but to be on Christ and the eternity to come. Our best life is in eternity, not here on this fallen, corrupted, suffering place where sin dwells and permeates.
If you possibly recieved a false Gospel, this free book will help correct that and the Gospel, so you can move forward in confidence, trusting God. He will provide all you need, according to His will, for His purpose for you, and to help you achieve the works he has prepared for you to do. So likewise prayer is us communicating with God, having our focus on Him and His will to be done in every situational circumstance, whether what's happening now, or what's hopeful for the future. If it will plant seeds of truth towards folk embracing the biblical Gospel, to lead souls to salvation, and if thats the way He wants it to go, he will say yes. That's what Philippians 4:19 means. (And see Matthew 6:31–33, 2 Corinthians 9:8, Psalm 23:1).
God uses suffering and problems and trials in this life, to mold us to become more like Christ in his humanity who lived holy, obeyed the Father, & was led by the Holy Spirit, focusing on God's plan as his faithful servant.
The peace we have is peace with God, through Christ's sacrifice. Forgiven, adopted & Heaven bound. No longer under his wrath and judgment, Hellbound. We are under special Grace, His loving care, and will provide and take care of us. (Read Matthew 6:33, Romans 8:28, Philippians 2:12–13). And likewise/therefore our rest, is in Christ. 1.He is our rest. He completed all required to make us right with God. And 2. "with that" we are no longer being ruled by sin, but living in righteousness. One day our struggle with sin will end.
Our peace and joy are tied to Christ saving us, and the future taking of us to be where He is, forevermore. To a sin free eternity, where in a perfect way we will live, and live out our purpose perfectly.
Until then we stumble, fail, get up, persevere in sanctification to grow well & serve Him as we await him calling us home.
✅️Read those verses & that book, and make sure you embraced the biblical Gospel. If you didn't, then do so today, and begin a new and right relationship with God, so you can rightly go live out your life purpose as a faithful servant. 😊
God bless
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