Answering "Why arent you happy for me", when someone is living in sin.

Q: Someone I know is living in sin, but gets upset when you dont appear or express happiness for what they did or are doing. 

These resources will be a good help to go through, to prep you and help you think biblically through these issues (as they can cover a broad range today), and provide clear answers. 

Answering "Why arent you happy for me?". How to answer those we know who are living in sin (fornicating, got pregnant, incl the lgbt lifestyle, pronoun, gender change issues). Theyre not going to like what we say anyway, as it isnt affirming, but it wouldn't be loving to lie to them. It is important to have an answer ready, backed with Scripture (our authority in life & faith), if they press further. But doing so with patience, in gentleness, and with respect as a fellow image bearer of God. 

As Christians, we hold to a biblical worldview so we are called to love others truly—not by affirming what God calls sin, but by speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), pointing them to the holiness and mercy of God. The core of this issue is not just about lifestyle choices, but about who defines right and wrong—God, not man.

When someone says, "Why aren’t you happy for me?", and we know they are engaging in something the Bible clearly defines as sin—whether that’s fornication, homosexuality, gender denial, or any other rebellion against God’s created order—we cannot, in good conscience, celebrate what God mourns & hates.

Here’s how you might respond, grounded in & presenting a biblical worldview with Scripture:

“I love you, and I care deeply about you as a fellow human made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). That’s exactly why I can’t pretend to celebrate something that I believe, according to God’s Word, is not good for you or pleasing to Him. If I told you otherwise, I’d be lying to you and dishonoring the God who saved me.”

1. Why Not Celebrate Sin?

In Romans 1:32, Paul warns not only against those who practice sin, but also those who “give approval to those who practice them.” Affirming sin is itself sinful. The Christian holds high the authority and sufficiency of Scripture (2 Timothy 3:16-17). When God defines something as sin, we are not permitted to redefine it simply because our culture—or our emotions—urge us to.

We must remember that true love is not mere emotional support, but desiring and doing what is best for someone in light of truth & eternity. That’s what God’s love looks like—it is true, holy, just, and merciful.

2. But Isn’t God Love?

Yes, God is love (1 John 4:8). But we must define love biblically—not sentimentally. God's love is not permissive of sin. Hebrews 12:6 reminds us: “For the Lord disciplines the one He loves…” God’s love leads us to holiness. A biblical understanding sees God’s love not in conflict with His justice, but as working perfectly together. MacArthur’s book "The God Who Loves" explores & explains this beautifully.

3. How Should I Respond Practically?

*With gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15), never with cruelty or smugness.

*With grief over sin (Psalm 119:136), not self-righteousness.

*With confidence in Scripture, not personal opinion (Isaiah 5:20), nor by wrong emotions.

Your aim is not to “win an argument,” but to bear witness to the truth and trust the Holy Spirit to convict and change hearts (John 16:8). Your love and restraint—even when misunderstood—may be used by God to plant seeds of conviction.

Recommended Resources:

📘 The God Who Loves by John MacArthur – Presents a solid view of God's holy love. *The audio ver. at audible, amazon and spotify are also available. 

📖 Romans 1-3 – Clear teaching on sin, judgment, and the righteousness of God.

On the lgbt+ identity crisis topic this can help. (1)

On conquering sinful emotions (2)

Christians cannot affirm sin (3)

Final encouragement: Don't fear their disapproval more than God's. Speak the truth in love, trusting that God’s Word never returns void (Isaiah 55:11). Our goal isn’t acceptance, but faithfulness to Christ, who calls us to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16), even when the world doesn’t understand.

> “We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts.” – 1 Thessalonians 2:4

These additional resources will be a good help on this topic, to help you think about it biblically in truth. And help arm you for future encounters. 

But God is Love, right? 

If God is love, why...

Is God "love" and loves all...?

Does God "love" us how we are?

God bless

Footnote:

(1) On identity issues incl lgbt+ 

Today's young folk Identity Crisis

Our restored identity in Christ 

Lgbt+ Identity Crisis generation
Relative trying to force pronouns on us


(2) on conquering sinful emotions 

(3) Christians cannot affirm sin