Husband wants me to watch movies he's seen before and I have no interest.
LQ: My husband is constantly wanting me to give up my time to watch movies with him that he has seen thousands of times and only wants to put on those movies for the sake of me seeing what he has seen. He asks me if I want to watch them and I've have so many times to please him but they are movies I am just not interested in and it's one series of movies after the next. I tell him he can watch them when I'm not home but he says he's already seen them and wants me to watch it. I have tried gently telling him my reasons of not wanting to and he says, "I don't understand why it's that hard for you to just watch it ..." All the time he says that and he makes me feel guilty about it and I'm frustrated because he just doesn't or won't understand. He gets all bent out of shape over it like a child. I told him it's great that he loves those movies but I don't need to watch them just because he loves them and wants me to love them too. I'm frustrated.
A: You said he said he has already watched them and wants you to watch them , are you meaning watch them together or he just want you to watch them alone.
If alone:
It would have to be a very good biblically based one or I would just say: I appreciate you wanting to share that with me, but I dont have interest in it, but why dont you just tell me why you liked it and perhaps show some yt clips of your favorite part. And that may help him not feel dismissed or un cared about.
Note also your a mom 247 and Saturday at home is the only time you get [with another adult/parent around] where he can watch the kids s few hours and you get some me time for rest, reading or hobbies fir a few hours in the daytime, and would appreciate him helping you make that work, as a regular help to you. [That way he's not trying to take up your day, and you collapse at night from exhaustion].
If together: It sounds like your husband is trying to connect with you in the way he knows how, by sharing something he enjoys. That’s not wrong, and it may be his way of feeling close or seen. But at the same time, connection has to go both ways. If watching these movies feels draining or one-sided, it’s okay to lovingly express that.
Marriage is about mutual care, not forced sameness.
“Love is patient and kind… it does not insist on its own way.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
It might help to find something you both enjoy together, something fresh that isn’t loaded with pressure or guilt. Connection doesn’t have to come through the same movie screen, it can be found in the middle ground.
But if you do watch movies yourself, it can be enjoyed together in moderation together, but there's something to consider. *This* particular activity has connection to possible sin. You can use that as reasons for you to explain as a Christian you dont want to watch certian movies or shows, and the criteria that you would. That is a better way of addressing it. That way youre making it an issue of sin not time together. *Of course he should respect your desires for free time, esp if you have kids and are mom 247, he can play with the kids at home and let you have a couple hours to yourself on Saturday, and after theyre in bed you can have couple time.
Maybe decide M-F what that couple time activity will be. Diff activity each day. Stick with it all year. Do it after the kids are in bed. [8pm is a good bedtime even for teens!] If that day is missed for emergency or overtime or tending to sick kid, move on to the next days activity once that's not a issue. Come up with 7 good ones, worth doing. Movie/content, board games, Bible audio, podcast, etc.
And...A podcast/video related could also be a Christian themed one. *you each choose a content to watch/listen to, if time allows, do both, and watch yours last, as it will be the last thing in his mind before bed. That way if hes being led by Satan to try get you to watch something ungodly, he might have his mind renewed in time.
*But if you set the criteria for what's acceptable and only if you feel ok about it based on solid Christian reviews, then its ok. Have him write a list of shows, movies, podcasts, and you write a list too. It could include biblical marriage videos or podcasts, and Christian content incl sermons too. That way its balanced as to content consumed, even if you are the one listing those (if he doesnt). You likely heard solid podcasts, sermons, or Christian documentary like or apologetic like video, and want to share those videos too.
I would consider these below things too, and discuss that with him, whether he's saved or not. And use the PluggedIn and Wretched/Fortis (linked below) for looking at whether that show/movie he's suggesting is appropriate, in that you would watch. Again, note the first idea above given😉. It let's him talk and hype, without you having to watch it, and he feels heard and cared about.
Also consider VidAngel to remove cuss words.
Just note, if he gets you to watch an iffy movie, in future he will say, well you watched thst other ine and it had foul words, sex scenes, etc etc so why not this one. In hypocrisy.
Hope this helps.
