Divorce isnt the answer
People are too quick to say divorce him, when a spouse commits adultery. But that is not what God has said to do, nor does to us when we sin.
Remember all of Scripture, what it teaches us about God, Christ, Love, and how we are to be like Him, and live holy.
We are to be like Christ, who is holy. And live out how God treats us in love, undeserving, yet pursues us anyway, all our life. We need to model this "love" with grace and forgiveness, 70x7 reconciling and restoring fellowship, when others fail us including our spouse, whether saved or unsaved (trapped in their sin nature). Remembering the extreme cost, lengths & depth that God went to for us while enemies, AND how far he goes for the 1 who is his, who wandered from the 100 sheep in his flock.
The OT has as much to say about the love of God as much as the new. We are called to love, and all in Christ do love, because he transformed us, gave us spiritial life, covered us with Christ's righteousness and thus enabled us to live out the communicable attributes rightly which were the original design of Adam. God restored us to the image of God. Yes growing more in Christ's likeness in that holy image, all our life, by sanctification and perfected upon entering eternity. We still grow and learn into maturity so we can live these attributes out more fully and deeply and of a better understanding. That's why marriage is about sanctification too as we grow and press onward to bless and recieve blessing equally yoked to a godly spouse. But those unequally yoked endure much more hardships and spiritual warfare as the spouse is on the enemies side and divides and destroys and destruction and devastation are a daily constant. Yet we are called to be the light in the home, pointing to Christ, being the godly example, drawing such spouse (and kids) to the Lord through much Tribulation and trials. For the equally yoked, they are in Christ, pursuing a holy life, correcting one another in love and living blessed and in peace, raising up their kids in a good home for a godly example.
But even if the unsaved spouse commits adultery, it is no surprise, he is in his sin nature and can do nothing else. Even his moralism is counterfiet and idolatrous, only seeking what he can get out of the reason he behaves in false piety by it. Appearly goodly but is only evil, continually and always in sin. He lives deceptively with his godly wife, perhaps playing church for a while until the honeymoon is over. Eventually he will be exposed as a fraud, a false convert, and One whose sins get revealed in time, such as his adultery towards God and you the spouse.
According to and explained well in the book " The God Who Loves": the Old Testament has as much to say about the love of God as the New does. Again & again the OT exhausts the loving kindness and goodness of God. In fact the word living-kindness is applied to God more than 150 times in the old testament alone. 'The Lord's loving kindnesses never cease, for his compassions never fail, they are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23. That truth is emphasized from the beginning to the end of the OT. God's love for Israel is revealed over and over, in spite of Israel's rejection.
The depiction of that love in the prophecy of Hosea is unmistakable & even shocking. Hosea became a living illustration of divine love in his relationship with his wife. She became a prostitute [adulterer]. And bore several illegitimate children. She shattered her husband's heart. She pursued her life of adulterous harlotries until she was totally disalute. Finally she was placed for sale in the slave market. Hosea had followed her wretched behavior & behind the scenes he [still] made sure her needs were met. When she was placed on the block to be sold... he bought her for his own [redeemed her back]. He took her home and treated her as if she were a virgin. Hosea's laudable, generous, forgiving love for his evil wife, and his willingness to take her back, no matter what she had done, are object lessons to illustrate God's love for [sinners] sinning Israel. Hosea sites God's own plea to that wayward nation "My heart is turned over in me. All my compassions are kindled." Hosea 11: 8. How faithfully He loves. Throughout the OT God is portrayed in this manor. As a God of tender mercies infinite loving-kindness, great compassion & patient, long suffering.(1)
Likewise, the NT has as much to say about the love of God. We see God's love for us in Christ on the cross.
We see God's love for us in Christ on the cross:
• Romans 5:8 - "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
• 1 John 4:9-10 - "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
• 2 Corinthians 5:21: "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
• John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son..."
The way Hosea dealt with adultery, and how God dealt with Israel's adultery, are how we should behave towards the one who commits adultery against us, and likwise towards all who in (all areas of sins) commit sin against us, [which are actually sins against God].
We are to pursue holy mindset, behavior and responses towards those who sin against us, so being like Christ, we can love them as God does. In this way we are presenting and living out the Gospel, without words, but words are also needed when we communicate and counsel to correct or lead one towards the path of righteousness, to the foot of the cross, to salvation in Christ, so they too can be transformed. Not to call out and judge them in harsh flesh like manner, but we should be actively looking for opportunities in an unequally yoked home, (or as an example to our children of the same), to have gospel convos, particularly of actually sharing the Gospel, probing them, answering objections apologetically [defense of the Faith] so they can see the truths, as God noted in OT "Come let us reason together, and I can make you whiter than snow" to become saved.
If you are experiencing infidelity, if your spouse has committed adultery, go to the Scriptures for guidance and self counseling. Then to your Pastor for guidance, and on to a professional biblical counselor for marriage counseling, and for him, regarding his adultery. Let God use this time to prune, shape and mold you more into the reflection of Christ he wants you to be, and to reconcile your marriage, to make it stronger, ...and hopefully brings him into true salvation, so you can go forward into life together with Christ at the center and as the focus of your lives together.
If he refuses some, at some point, or all of the counseling & calls to salvation, the biblical counselor will help you, give guidance, and at some point if absolutely necessary, in a tiny percentage if cases, divorce might be the only option, but with possible consequences for your future (remarriage), so listen and follow the plan the counselor maps out, to help you navigate this well, along with authorities and legal suggestions to pursue.
Keep loving your spouse no matter what, until all avenues have been very thoroughly exhausted. We dont want to break the marriage covenant, and as believers we are not to think & live selfishly. I do hope your marriage is turned around, and becomes a praise and testimony to God who is a miracle worker and is a restorer.
All the below provided resources will bless you now and future, pls go through it all.
God bless.
Related
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Unequally Yoked Resources for living godly before your husband
*Feel free to bookmark this page so you can go through everything above in the coming days, and to return back to this main page if you lose your spot in one of the resources.
Footnotes:
(1) The God Who Loves, by John MacArthur, Chapter 3.
