uy dating, bf mom has church coffee issue, & a q on men and hats at church
Q: The other day I came home from church with my boyfriend. I am Christian, and attend a Baptist church, but my boyfriend’s family is Roman Catholic. They never go to church so my boyfriend’s never been to one... so I took him with me 😁. He absolutely loved it! He loved the sermon that day so we told his mom all about it and how we love the church. And we talked about how it’s a bigger church and they play fun music and even had a coffee bar for everyone. That’s when she looked immediately stunned and was like,” are you kidding? A coffee bar? That’s not ok!” I questioned her because I’ve always grown up with coffee at church for people. She said,” it’s a house of God that shouldn’t be there!”
Then she went on to lecture my boyfriend because he wore a hat to church. I explained to her that I don’t believe God is angry at people who are coming into the church with a coffee in their hand or a hat on their head. He doesnt care about the clothing on our back, he cares about the relationship we have with him. Obviously you don’t walk into church with modest clothing or revealing clothing but coffee? Hats? Is that wrong?
A: That kind if thing is a modern thing happening in churches. I don't like it in the sense that it's trying to be hip like with the concert music, (as if they're trying to lure people into church [for money and numbers] and use the music tp play on "emotions", thus it's purpose is not focused on the truths of Scripture to draw people). Churches isn't for the unsaved, but for the Redeemed. It's the body of believers, the Bride of Christ, gathering to worship God in truth, and serve Him there.
Churches have since long ago had a fellowship hall where free instant coffee was available, but this new move to coffee bar or Cafe isn't really right. Even my church, which is large now has a cafe for coffee and light bites.
If theyre not drinking or eating it in the worship sanctuary and have since thought about and am more fine-ish with it cuz small church he's (30-400) can have a simple set up in the felliwship hall, but the fellowship hall reasonably can't handle 8k people walking in for a coffee "15 min b4" Sunday school. But if folk need coffee tbvh.... they should have their own and drink it in the way or before leaving home. Some churches are using it as another "fellowship opportunity" to go early and chat with believers whom they don't see often or to meet up on purpose or to help folk they brought to the church interact with other friendly believers to feel at ease in new surroundings. And thats ok.
But for the hat...men needs to be taken off as they walk in the worship hall. Scripture says men are not to cover their heads.
You'll have issues in dating someone catholic as it's unequally yoked. Their beliefs are not compatible with God's Word, and are light vs darkness issue. So you'll have probable push back from his parents on many things, but you can try to reach him for Christ if he/they aren't what they call a "practicing" Catholic. He might be more open. This can help as you pribe/lead him to salvation in Christ.
As to the hat issue, its based on God's design order; for man's Headship/lead over women. Women can wear hats, the issue for women headcoverings to that discussion/letter was related to prostitutes in the culture; a woman not covering her head was a clear visible sign of a prostitute. But clarity was given in that letter to that church of an overall truth: that men are not to cover their heads in corporate worship, and I would also say any time at church or home fellowship, cuz even in Sunday school, bible study, fellowship together, or in serving, (or even away at some sports time at thr park or whatever, if your church is involved in such a thing)...prayer proceeds the activity and closes it.
1 Corinthians 11:4-7:
"Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head....A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man."
If he has a hair insecurity, he needs to kill the pride and sin of vanity, (get over it), because we are to obey and honor God. And God is not a God of disorder or chaos, but of order. And it's His house, His rules. We align to God's will.
The decons should go along and shoulder top to ask them to take it off [even during worship, at start], or say such as they walk in through worship hall. Its a holy place, a place of reverence towards God, as are above noted situations where believers gather.
Since he's new to church, set the precedent and explain why. As to the coffee you can explain that to the mom a bit based on what I noted here. Its totally different from a small church where a hand full of older folk go upstairs to have a small cup to perk up a bit before Bible study and the day starts.
Also 😉 invite her in Sunday, to come see, so she understands (as Christian church is diff from the Catholic religion). Perhaps you can share the Gospel with her too, and the Lord save her and her family, and they join you there.
Hope this guides and helps. 😊✝️✨️
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