UY relationship, and help on walking away to live for God
Q: I need some godly advice. Firstly I know this is all my fault because I've moved away from God and became a lukewarm Christian and disobeyed God even though I knew the truth.
I fell in love with a unbeliever last year and we've been dating for 5 months, his a great guy (and a great dad to his daughter). Now I want to renew my walk with God, but it's hard I won't lie because I've also fell into sexual sin, and I'm dating someone who's unequally yoked with me.
What should I do about our relationship? End it (even though it's so hard) or pray about it (like is it even possible for God to save him?)
A: Tbh the relationship never shouldve began, because as you noted and seem to grasp, we are not to be unequally yoked, and your living in sin. Idk of you are going to church, or are an active member now, but if not you need to make that a priority asap. Theres a myriad reasons we are to be in the local church, and one is that the shepherds there guide us & help us live out holy lives.
This is my best answer to you is:
You may know what his religious background is, and you can use that to begin a candid conversation. If not, probe his beliefs. Start there, and have an actual Gospel convo. Answer his questions, and call him to get right with God. Take a short time to review these things well so you can properly deal with his responses, questions and objections, and if he genuinely doesnt turn to Christ... move to phase 2 for the break up. If he receives and obeys the Gospel, then discuss the "changes" in the relationship required to continue together, and see if his intentions with you appear or desire to court towards Marriage. Guys usually know within 6 months if you're marriage material to them.
If he rejected Christ, ask him to think about it tonight. Then meet up [dont go together] the next day somewhere kinda public (but not a fav eatery or somewhere you'd have break up memories from). And discuss why you wanted to meet up.... ask if hes thought about it and sees his need for Jesus urgently. Theres 2 paths at this point:
If he's not outright rejecting Christianity, you can say you renewed your faith in Christianity and are going to follow Jesus. Ask if he would be willing to talk to some people at your new church to discuss out some of his apprehensions or areas he needs clarity on before he turns his life over to Christ. If he says yes, say great, and that you'll set up a meet up for him, but in preparation for that, you ask that he looks over this info to prepare for that meeting. It has FAQ helps, and he can get more clarity from them on the things he's needing to find out about. Do let him know that if he becomes a Christian, God will change him so he has new and right desires, so don't let concerns of guilt or shame over past sins or concerns over not being able to live holy, because God will give him the rughteousness of Christ and Holy Spirit to help him live that out.
If he isnt interested in Christianity or being saved in Jesus/right with God- say that you respect his decision on that, but explain that because you have renewed your Faith in Christianity, you cannot be unequally yoked to someone not a Christian, and so you'll need to break up and move onwards. If you are living together, addly note that you will not be home tonight, "as you've moved elsewhere", but will come with some folk to move stuff out tomorrow, so we can both transition to the next chapter in our lives.
✨️Before this convo, make sure you set up a place to live, where you would be moving out anyway to obey God to not live in sin. And prepare to arrive by Uber and leave by Uber. Have the car meet you in front of the place/ eatery so you have a fast getaway, since he can't run to his car and follow you. Don't pick a place with them parking on the side of the building, find one where parking is in the back, so when he parks himself there, he has no way to quickly follow you.
After you have the goodbye convo, pay for the meal yourself, so he doesnt feel stiffed, tell him you wish him well. And then knowing Uber is about to arrive, leave pretty much close to when she will pull up. That way you dont stand out there so he can't follow you.
🛑Make sure you pre arranged to have some people come in am to help you pack and move [even if temp. it's to a storage. You don't want him following you, so make sure you leave first, and let the "boxer, packer, movers" stay behind at the last little bit to do, so they're between your departure and theirs, so he doesnt try to follow you. You can ask one of them to note out loud when he's around that theyll drop this last set off to storage and go have dinner - or something like that, so they don't follow you. If he's not home, that's even better. But don't trust that, have movers there, people.
Do these things for safety precautions. You never know how someone will react to you breaking up/leaving. My sisters bff in 6th grade and her mom were murdered by the dad for trying to leave him. Never take chances.
God be with you.
