Unresolved problems w/ the pastor, & scared to leave the church
Q: I need godly counsel. I recently just left my church home that I joined a year ago. (Personal reasonings pertaining to the pastor) I just don’t feel like it’s the place God wants me at in this next season of my life. I’ve prayed for months about leaving, but I’m afraid for my life because I’ve always been told that when you leave a church, you leave your covering. But I just couldn’t do it anymore, it was mentally draining me. I had began to hate going to church because I felt like after I seemed counsel with my pastor, he would get up and make comments about the exact thing I was going through at that time, and it hurt me. I’ve been hurt in the church before and it took a lot for me to join another church. I get just saying what God tells you to say, but it’s a way to do it, and surely God wouldn’t tell you to say something that would possibly hurt a member. He has a huge ego and I’ve voiced my concerns to him before and he basically shut me down by saying he doesn’t use the pulpit as a shooting range. He’s a great person but I just couldn’t be under his leadership. I have another church I’ve been visiting, but after this, I don’t want to join another church, and I’m completely broken by the actions the past few months. How do I heal from this or still be cordial with him after I’ve been hurt?
A: There are a lot of false pastors and false churches out there. Also false teaching about covering, or falsely teach it in manipulating ways. A church [a biblical one] you become a member at is important because the pastor and leaders are shepherds of your faith, they guide, correct and help you live holy through the teaching of Scripture and church discipline when needed. They're responsible to God for you. So in a biblical church that's how that goes. Invite false churches they use manipulation tactics and teach wrongly to instill fear. So you obey them and the the line.
Many encounter church hurt through legit situations and some others from taking things wrongly personally and not seeking getting clarity and restoration. In general if there's a way to address and issue with an intermediary helping that would be good, for closing the issue and helping you move on (either at the church or to another one). Cuz we arent to just "cut and run", but if the place is a false church then your ok to leave since they're not under the authority of Scripture (as unsaved ones). In such cases its ok to forgive and move on. And if theyre actually a Christian church or Christian your dealing with they'd be open to talking and correction when seeking reconciliation of the issue. If what your saying is accurate, and from all I can gleen here, this pastor sounds really off, and is possible he's not even saved, as things discussed in counseling or seeking to address a wrong in private shouldn't be the subject of the sermon, nor to use as such to try to manipulate or scare you, in various ways, and put everyone else under his thumb in that way too, and on the subject. So it's like he got in front of it, to nip it, so even if you tried to get others help on this, his mesage overrides and they wont be able to do so biblically cuz he laid down HIS law from pulpit with his (abusing) authority. So in this case you could just pray to God and move on since you tried. Its possible he owns or runs that church and if that's the case, nothing else you try to do to resolve this will ever come to biblical reconciliation and resolution. [Never join churches where a pastor owns it or has that kind of control]. If your church hires and fires a pastor, or if it has multiple pastors where they're held to accountability, then you can reach out to them and ask them to (using Matt 18 process) go along side him to address it and call him to repent, and change. If he doesn't, then bring it to the decons to do likewise, then to the other elder/pastors to do the same and ultimately if still refusing to repent to God and you, to correct himself and change, then the church will need to vote to remove him as pastor and from the church. But the way this sounds from your side is that HE is the pastor and one in control, and if so that's a problem since no one can knock him off his pride and power pedestal. In such cases it's best to just go in peace, forgive in your heart, and move on.
Remember also, our Faith is in God and we follow Christ. We dont throw out already faith away due to false or bad leaders or fallen believers who mess up or the behavior of false converts among us. Dont let anyone shake your faith. Don't let the failings of men shake you. Our faith is in God. He is who we follow and trust. He's who saved us and has a wonderful place for us in eternity with Him. Hold fast ✝️✨️
You can find a respectable trusted church here, but its good to also understand a bit more about church, your place in it, and addressing problems that may arise. if your equipped with that knowledge, your faith won't be shaken and you can think through an issue well enough to make decisions, or also seek counsel among trusted believers at the church.
Hope this helps.
God Bless
