Parent who turned from Christianity hates that his teen is Christian.
Q: Struggling with my dad no longer being religious
My dad grew up in church but after he went to the military he stopped going, he hates Christianity, and says all Christian's are hypocrites. It hurts my heart so bad he thinks that way. I don't know if he had a bad experience or what but it affects me so much. I just got back into Christianity a few months ago and he makes smart remarks and jokes about me going to church or "feeling the spirit" or even when I talk about my boyfriend being Christian he says he "doesnt care and if anything it makes him worse". This morning I tried to tell him about something at my church and he cut me off speaking I had only gotten three words out and he said "I don't give ***** about that church".
I feel like it didn't use to be this bad, then my mom died 2 years ago and he has just gotten even more hateful and more comfortable expressing it. It hurts my heart so bad seeing my dad so lonely and hurting and hateful. It doesn't justt affect him it affects me and my sisters, my younger sisters see this behavior and they pick up on it. I'm the only one that goes to church and talks good about Jesus. I just know God has so much more for him and could heal him but he's so stubborn and hard headed and refuses to do anything other than sit at home and play video games.
A: This is sad to hear, and I prayed. It is great you have a gospel heart for your dad and concern for your siblings.
The truth is everyone is a hypocrite. Believers aren't perfect, we have a standard of righteousness and yet still fall short of it, while persuing it. But we progress in holiliness over our lifetime, its called sanctification. For believers, Jesus has already paid our sin debt to God, so we are fully free from His Judgment, wrath, and Hell. Not because we're good (or attempt to be) but because God is good and Jesus paid our fine in full, making us right with God.
You can say that the next time he yells about hypocrite Christians.
Truth is, we all come to Christ at different ages, and grow at different times. A 90 year old new believervis a babe in Christ, just as a 20 year old believer who has been a Christian for 8 years is further in maturity in the Faith than the 90 year old. It's not like every 20 year old is equal to the maturity level of a 80 year old as if were all perfect and mature at any age if we are Christian.
So whatever his experiences are, where someone hurt him or he is upset his wife died (believer or not), and ignores the truth that God didn't hurt him, and that everyone dies. In fact death is wages earned. That's what Rom. 3:22 tells us. If she's saved, he should ne happy she's with Jesus her Savior forever, and enjoying Heaven.
People wrongly judge God for the sins of humans. They aren't robots, they're flawed fallen people. Some happen to be saved and are living out their faith, becoming more like Jesus as they follow Him, and as the indwelling Holy Spirit guides us.
Your father's situation may serve as an example to you both to solidify your faith & understand the basics well, but also to be a real reminder to read Scripture regularly, keep short sin accounts with God daily, and to always be active at Church. Those are important. If people stop going and sorta walk away it shows they never were born again in the first place, but also that they were looking for a excuse to exit and it just took them that long to find a crack or door so they could run to the world and sin. True believers don't do that, they persevere, because God is in them.
My husband and I are both military Vets. My grandpa and uncle were too. I'm not sure what happened in his service, but it might be related to a hurt, a trust broken, either by a new, weak or growing believer who made wrong choices, or a superior like a Chaplain who did likewise. And instead of praying for that person, he blamed & threw God away, as noted earlier. Also in the mix is the fact that there are false converts everywhere who profess to be Christian, but are just idolatrous moralists. Regular unsaved people don't grasp that. They assume anyone who claims to be a believer is.
Keep him in your prayers.
Grow in the basics of Christianity and also get equipped to share the Gospel. That way in time you can reach him with truth, but also address these things (or objections) with your siblings too, so you can plant seeds, water it, and pray God leads them to salvation.
A lot of people who were raised in church, had seeds planted, but they never were discipled or very well educated in the faith, the basics, or faq, so they don't understand some things. However, they getvanswersclater on and then come to true saving faith. I know people who got saved at 70, 90, even 107! Don't lose hope. There is always hope until his last breathe.
Here are helps for new and growing believers like yourself, to help you start off well to grow in your faith unto maturity.
Also if you live at home still, try to have some mature godly men and women from the church, like a handful, come over occasionally for a small fellowship meet up for like 30 min, maybe the first one can be about you all sharing your (short) testimonies, and the rest of the meet ups as targeted Bible study, with the intention of doing that at the table, when your dad is home, and the believers [in advance] are in one accord knowing a main purpose is to carefully be there for his ears and eyes. It can lend itself to their being polite/chummy with him, and to convos they can have with him that they can answer well for him, which he never got answers to. I would make it a some what priority to do that esp if you don't have many years left before 18. You want to try to influence him now, before you go. And to influence your siblings too.
Def have outings like picnics and lunches out, to purposely talk Christianity with siblings, and answer questions. You can send links to them on faq like found here, for ones that need a bit of explaining, or if you cant do it well in convo. Share what you can verbally and pop the link over too. Today theyll look at links if you text it over. You could address them like this: " Kalie, here's the info on Biblical Reliability - link", or "Jordan here's the info on faq of young people. Let me know if you have questions. http://longertweets.blogspot.com/2023/09/youth-faq.html". You'll be more able to reach them easier using technology this way, than your older gen dad who likely doesn't use his phone or connected devices like Gen Z and Alpha to communicate. You have to take different approaches with him.
Hope this helps
God bless
