Parent turning to faith, feels failed kids, & has Tongues Q. *

Q: My ex best friend married into a Charismatic denomination where they tell people who are saved, that "they are not saved if they did not have evidence of speaking in tongues". They became a stumbling block in my faith. I no longer feel as if I’ll ever be good enough because every time I would come to them with questions I had honestly just wanted to have a greater understanding they would mock me as if not to come to them about their God because I was obviously not saved? I was saved at 10years and grew up in my church. I now have four boys and haven’t attended church with them. I know this is my job to teach them and I will be held accountable. They would also tell me the road to heaven is narrow. I’m no denomination I grew up Baptist, I thought I had heard the lord and felt his love, but this has driven me so far from the Lord. I used to be very spiritual, but stopped. I just exist. I have never spoken in tongues…and honestly envy all who have. I also feel like why would I even try if I’ll never be accepted. People go straight to verses to explain but they don’t take in the whole context is what my dad told me who is a preacher. God is love he said. I don’t want my children to ever feel this way… and all the denominations fight about who is right… well who is right? So pretty much if you didn’t have evidence of speaking in tongues you are doomed to hell?

A: First none of us are good or good enough, that's why Jesus came. All are already hellbound because we are sinners, only those Jesus saves are heaven bound. God loves those whom he saves, and proved it on the Cross, as Scrioture says.

Secondly, do not listen to those decievers. This (and its resources links for investigating it) will be a great help to you. 

Third, also go here for the Holy Spirit Study, and while all are good to review, see also "pouring out" for solid clarity on that too. It explains when people recieve the Holy Spirit.

Fourth, let the videos here, and resources here help strengthen and solidify your faith. You need this so you can grow and understand vital truths. 

Fifth, start leading your kids in Christ. This resource will help with the day to day. The faith videos above can be shown to them too, along with the Gospel video, so you can call them to recieve Christ as Savior. 

Finally, I can't tell if you're a widow, divorced, or had kids in fornication, or were abandoned, but if you're married and he's not saved, he's not the spiritual leader over the home... you are. Just like Timothy's mom and grandmother you need to fill that role, until he gets saved. You need to make those big changes today and stick with it. Even if you can only do it when hes not home, or if you need to go do it elsewhere over a snack, or at your dad's home with his help, start a daily or at least 3x a week family Bible hour. Without fail. So you can teach what you know and learn more to answer their questions. But they need to obey you as the parent, and be present in body and mind at these meetings. 

Here are additional resources to help you answer their questions. Youth FAQ and Skeptic FAQ. Get familiar with them so you can use them. Also to start use the catechism here it's basic truths you can take them through at the beginning while you are setting up the family Bible hour this year. You can go over one per day, and let them ask you any faith related questions. Then you can check it against the info in the links and others with help from your pastor and your dad.

Also, if you have the freedom, or can get your dad to get your husband's approval to take them to or let them go to church with you, take it and do so without fail. Even if that means you need to premake food for him while your gone, in advance, and pre make a pizza for lunch for kids, and pot roast meal in crock pot for dinner, so that meal is out of the way for Sunday - and your husband has no complaints. Then when fathers day comes around, if the church recognizes fathers that day, or even a potluck, try to get him to come so he feels good recognition n, and make that entire day after church about yall celebrating him, loving on him, sating reasons to recognize him and even thanks for things he's done recently too. Help him feel special and loved as most dads don't, even if he's not a great dad, you can find ways to graciously love on him. It may encourage him. And may help get him into church regularly, if not just the holidays at first. Then share the Gospel video with him so he can come to Christ, even if he looks at or you answer the skeptics answers to him along the way. And pray. 

Find a solid church here, and go meet the pastor & his wife. Have a small counseling like meet up by appointment, to get to know each other, and about suggestions on how to practically lead your kids and get them plugged into the church. This way you start off well. Join as a member, and get plugged into the church. Sunday school too. Plus, Even if that means making the kids a special Sunday breakfast or to go breakfast drive thru to get them into the car... so yall are all in Sunday School where they can also learn and ask questions.  

Even though you fumbled up to this point, you can recover and go forward as a good and faithful servant of God, as you also lead your kids to the Lord. The path will be rocky, but anything you instill and educate your kids about, will be a blessing to them. It may take time for them to come to Christ, maybe even long after you pass away, but pray they'll be saved and just do your best as a Christian mom to be the light in their lives. Its ok to sit the kids down, and start by telling them you've been negligent in not living as rightly in the faith as you should have, and you failed to train them up in the Lord as God commanded, but you will do that going forward... as best you can. And that they can always come to you with questions, and no judgment on things you want to talk about or get counsel on. For the older ones almost & those out of the house you can tell them you want them to see coming to you for counsel as a positive, and you'll have to make your own decisions, regardless of what is discussed among us. Its your life and you're responsible to God for your choices. But it's better to get counsel than not to. So always feel free to meet or call. 

Also it is a good idea to get them all their own Bible. I recommend this one, since its a study Bible, and affordable for you all. 

Take everything one day at a time, and make sure you are in Scripture daily too. You'll have to make changes and do the hard things in order to rightly live the Christian life. It is worth it. 

Hope this has helped! 

God bless