End a childhood friendship, who are now atheists?
Q: I’m having a hard time ending a friendship. I have had this best friend since 5th grade and we are both now in our early thirties.
She married an atheist a few years ago and had seemingly become one herself. I have prayed for her and spoken to her about her beliefs and she just brushes me off about it. I have not been pushy about it.
I also am not a fan of her husband. I tolerate him because he loves her very well and I suppose they have a good marriage, but there is just something about him that rubs me the wrong way. The way he interacted with my children the one time I let them be around him raised my hackles. He seemed to be very outdone with them after just a few minutes and I got the feeling he was going to snap at them or spat them because he could not control his emotions. After getting that sense from him, I have never taken my children around him again. He also curses a lot and takes the Lord’s name in vain constantly. It’s just not something I’m interested in being around or hearing. I honestly have tried really hard to be kind to him and like him.
My friend and I haven’t spoken in over a week and I am usually always the one to initiate or text first. It feels very one sided and like we’ve both outgrown the friendship.
I guess I’m just having a hard time accepting that our friendship may be over. I know, I know - I could text her and ask if anything is the matter and talk through it, but it’s been like this for a few years now. I get that we’re in different stages of life too. I have two small children, they are child free. I am divorced now, they are recently married. There’s just not a lot in common anymore.
What made you feel better if you’ve been in a situation like this?
A: You can dial back and let her come to you. Meet at your home without him, and just have a light association with her. Instead focusing on spending time building eternal friendships with brethren at church.
I had a friend (or some) in the past [through military; overseas] who never were Christian or presented as one, and later our relationship fizzled away (life & distance). One ldr lasted 10 years after we departed irl. Had pretty decent convo w her while in mil and while not very biblically educated then, I did pretty good to try to present Christianity.
With them we reconnected on social media or email [when that became a normal thing] and had some more faith convos as best as possible, but they still went their own way. She now indicated Taoism & had married a Muslim. Reconnected with her again via fb last year but it was more curiosity on her part (to check in) but hasn't gone anywhere since a couple messages. Maybe when she learned of my incurable cancer (she thought why rekindle a buddy connection if I'm likely dying). Idk.
My suggestion would be to soft plough their hearts on your Facebook page by posting weekly FAQ about Christianity so they can get objections or perplexities answered without your 1 on 1 convos seeming pushy, when she's not really wanting to engage that due to their love of sin. You likely already know some of her particular stumbling blocks, you can address & perhaps she will comment or dm, or bring up irl, so you can further explore helping her understand these/other things too. Pray they see the posts, read them, even if they don't mention it for years.
This has helps and examples about this posting tactic. It can lead to her reaching out to you or just seed planting over time. Feel free to repost the same top faq annually as she may not see them every time.
Nothing will return void, it can help others who see it too, even solidifying the faith of believers reading it.
God bless
