Interested in someone unsaved & open, but has health issues
Q: I was married for 31 years and my husband went home to be with Jesus. It been 2 years and I met someone who is not a non believer, who never had Jesus in his house growing up. When he was younger he had a NDE and was flat lined for 2 min, then resuscitated. He had heart surgery to install a defibrillator to restart his heart if it stops.
How do i determine where he is at Spirtually? He never had church growing up and the defibrillator keeps him from being able to go to church, like a shut in. Is he held less accountable because of how his health effects him ? Anyone? Also, if if does affect him HOW does it effect him does? WHAT does that mean ?..
He's very VERY open to the Gospel, and clearly has fruit... I just wonder where Gid puts the accountability mark at... He did not have normal opportunities like others did. No church at home growing up. An abusive and terribly neglective Father who was too embarrassed to get his son, (my friend) any type of mental health help or therapy. There is so much to this.
I'm trying to find out everything I can so that I do what Jesus, wants... yall have any thoughts? His whole life changed after his NDE. When he couldn't work or drive anymore he went on disability. This guy shows all the fruit of the spirit... I have witnessed it. He doesn't know much about Jesus but he has shown me the love of Christ. I think he would definitely fall in love with Jesus as I continue to teach and deciple him. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated 🙏 thank you 😊
A: I never had God or Jesus in my home either, even though my mom came from a home with godly parents, whom I saw on the weekends. Their influence led me to Christ, but I've had all kinds of problems in life, and sufferings. Lots of injuries from car accidents that are long term, and even incurable cancer now.
Voddie didn't grow up in a godly family either only had a single mom in Buddhism, and many like Oscar at Living Waters came from atheist families or cults ... and even homes with abuse, and they too got saved.
You asked How to?
Well if He's open...
Show him these 4 videos about God, Christianity and Jesus by Cold Case Christianity. Have him watch these first.
(It will help build the background of truth).
Then share the Gospel.
Discuss the Gospel with him. Probe.
"John, do you have a better understanding now?" And "Do you understand who Jesus is? Do you know why he is so important?"
Then regardless, go into the Gospel.
Here are examples
More resources:
Why Christianity (scroll to read)
After you share the Gospel, ask when he wants to get right with God. If he says soon, remind him "Considering tomorrow isnt guaranteed, 160k people die every day, with your condition it could be tonight for all we know. Isnt it better to take care of this matter today, right now?" If he says yes, have him pray silently to God asking for forgiveness of his sins and that he believes and trusts Jesus to save him, based on God's promises, knowing that God can't lie. Then after he prays, pray over him.
Get him a solid Bible he can read daily, and pair it with a audio Bible at Biblegateway.com
As to the other things:
All humans have a broken distorted morality that may appear like they show love or fruits, but he's just not as evil as some people because he's been crushed and humbled due to his near death situation with his health, but unless someone is saved they don't have the love of God in them nor Fruit of the Spirit, so be very careful not to say that... or it will confuse people. He's just more of a descent guy from human perspective, than some others are.
Still God in Scripture is clear you can't marry a unsaved person. And even if he gets saved it doesn't mean he is right for you. You could be friendly but leave him with the men at church to disciple him and to go his own way in life. If the defibrillator prevents him from living life and going anywhere then he's bed bound, and thats no life for a married couple. Let him live as a single person serving God online if he gets saved.
A defibrillator as you noted appears to help him live normally so not going to church is an excuse unless he literally is bed bound. But if he gets saved and thus loves God, he will want to and make effort to go to church (& be around believers).
Focus on leading him to Christ, along with leaders and teachers from church. They can meet at his home to lead him to more understanding, and maybe bible studies on foundational things after he's saved. You shouldn't go to his home (if others from church aren't there) to protect your purity [& ensure he wont scam you...too].
If marriage to someone like him is sexless that's not a good marriage to go into. If he can't do anything or go anywhere he can't do anything in the marriage bed. But if he watches action videos or plays action video games, or even has a sexual drive he intends to use or has used... then he absolutely has ability to can go out to church if his life isnt bedridden, since thats heart pumping stuff. So there's excuses there, and cautions; dont be alone with him in your or his home.
It's doubtful you met him at his home unless you are a home care nurse, so he goes outside, thus, can go to church. Again, he won't desire to until he sees his need for and embraces Christ for his salvation.
To the other question, yes, he is equally accountable to God for his sins just as anyone else. Even more so if he hears about Jesus, for theres a greater condemnation of wrath that falls on those who heard of Jesus but rejected him. We all live in a fallen suffering world stained by sin, experiencing varied things in this life, but are all each accountable to God for all our sins... unless Jesus pays for them -[If he has a true conversion; God causing him to be born again upon his hearing and obeying the Gospel].
Contact your church mens group leader, decons and pastor to see if they can meet up with him at his home once to help answer questions, [after your initial probing and gospel attempt], to see if they can help move him closer by answering questions. They can also sus him out a bit more if you arent there, and you can later get a report from them of the meet up.
Before they visit him, Don't forget to share the Skeptics faq link with him, and do go through it yourself to familiarize yourself with the many answers that are there, to help curb his objections. When objections are out of the way, he can focus on his sins and need to be right with God. Or deal with that first and just learn, as believers do, more things as we grow in our faith that might be on the faq page.
The important focus is that tomorrow isn't guaranteed, and we need to be right with God before we die because the offer of salvation expires once we die, and only judgment awaits those who die in their sins.
Have a clear understanding of the Gospel, so you can present it well. Pray, and go have that convo.
Like the Ethiopian, you can leave him in God's hands, but it is good to hand him over to the godly men at church to disciple him (and to have him become a member and get baptized). Let them do that, it isn't your place to.
Def do not start a dating type relationship with him if he is a feable bodied person, or better yet... until a few years from now after you see he genuinely was converted, is growing in the faith, the Scriptures, in holiness, and the Fruit of the Spirit. Constant continual growth, and active at church, and has godly friends (are actively in their lives together). Do not take chances he's a false convert who shoots up for a time appearing saved but then dies out, and leaves because" he was never of us". See soil parable and take caution.
God bless
