Should I go to a bar with coworkers?
Q: I need some advice. I have zero friends. I moved to a new town in a new state. I still haven’t found a home church. My coworker said she is going bar hopping with her friends tonight & invited me. I don’t drink. Should I go, to just to put myself out there?
John 15:19:
"If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world"
Romans 12:2: "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
Who we spend our time with influences us, so we are to be equally yoked to Believers, not to the lost.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with the devil? Or what portion does a believer have with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God, as God said, 'I will dwell in them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' Therefore, 'Come out from among them, and be separate,' says the Lord.
Scripture gives us guidance on making decisions, engaging with others, and maintaining one's integrity and witness.
1 Thessalonians 5:22
"Abstain from all appearances of evil."
This means you need to terminate contact with any place, action, language, or relationship that gives people the impression that you are doing something wrong. It doesn’t matter what you think is acceptable; what matters is what other people perceive. So put a great deal of distance between yourself and anything you are doing that people could misinterpret and that could thereby stain your reputation.
Consider the wisdom found in 1 Corinthians 10:23, "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify." This verse encourages believers to consider not just what is permissible, but what is beneficial and constructive, and a good witness. If you feel that going to a place with unbelievers conflicts with your values could be detrimental to your spiritual health or witness, so it is wiser to seek alternative methods of socializing within Christianity.
Further, Proverbs 13:20 advises, "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."
Proverbs 22:24 also addresses the harmful influence of associating with the unsaved:
"He who walks with the wicked will be ruined, but he who deals with the wise will become wise."
Proverbs 18:24: "A man of many companions may ruin himself, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
God bless.
A: No. Christians do not engage in worldly pursuits (1 Cor 6:9-11), and avoid mimicking the “way of sinners” (Psalm 1:1-6). Plus today anyone can drug your drinks at a bar. Don't go where temptation or harm could happen, including your witness as a believer.
Likewise we wouldn't go to dance clubs, strip clubs, pride gatherings, nor meet up to smoke weed or do other drugs with them (outside work or at business events). We need to be wise. If you wouldn't do it with your Pastor or Jesus, don't get tangled in it or damage your witness as a believer.
God said we arent to be of the world, but... we are supposed to preach to the world while we are in it; He gives us opportunities daily to do so, but be wise and not led astray (about to who and where, as is appropriate). As servants of Christ we were left on earth after salvation to reach the lost and glorify Him.
God said we arent to be of the world, but... we are supposed to preach to the world while we are in it; He gives us opportunities daily to do so, but be wise and not led astray (about to who and where, as is appropriate). As servants of Christ we were left on earth after salvation to reach the lost and glorify Him.
John 15:19:
"If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world"
Romans 12:2: "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, that you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
Who we spend our time with influences us, so we are to be equally yoked to Believers, not to the lost.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with the devil? Or what portion does a believer have with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God, as God said, 'I will dwell in them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' Therefore, 'Come out from among them, and be separate,' says the Lord.
Scripture gives us guidance on making decisions, engaging with others, and maintaining one's integrity and witness.
1 Thessalonians 5:22
"Abstain from all appearances of evil."
This means you need to terminate contact with any place, action, language, or relationship that gives people the impression that you are doing something wrong. It doesn’t matter what you think is acceptable; what matters is what other people perceive. So put a great deal of distance between yourself and anything you are doing that people could misinterpret and that could thereby stain your reputation.
Consider the wisdom found in 1 Corinthians 10:23, "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify." This verse encourages believers to consider not just what is permissible, but what is beneficial and constructive, and a good witness. If you feel that going to a place with unbelievers conflicts with your values could be detrimental to your spiritual health or witness, so it is wiser to seek alternative methods of socializing within Christianity.
Further, Proverbs 13:20 advises, "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."
Proverbs 22:24 also addresses the harmful influence of associating with the unsaved:
"He who walks with the wicked will be ruined, but he who deals with the wise will become wise."
Proverbs 22:24-25 Make no friendship with [unbelievers] lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
Proverbs 24:1-2
Be not envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them, for their hearts devise violence, and their lips talk of trouble.
Proverbs 4:14-17
Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on. For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble. For they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence
Proverbs 14:7: "A fool's mouth is his ruin, but the wise man's lips preserve him."
Proverbs 12:26
One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray
Proverbs 4:14-15
Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on
Proverbs 2:20
So you will walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.
Proverbs 1:10
My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent
Psalm 26:5
I hate the assembly of evildoers, and I will not sit with the wicked.
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Ephesians 4:17
Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds
James 4:17
If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
It's important to choose environments and companions who uplift and encourage positive growth. If you believe that the company or the setting may lead you into uncomfortable or potentially compromising situations, avoid it and look for other opportunities to meet new people; of the brethren.
However, Jesus also provides an example of engaging with people from all walks of life, showing love and compassion to everyone, but those relationships are qualitatively different, not in depth close relationships, and their purpose is to lead them to Christ.
Luke 5:29-32 recounts Jesus dining with Levi and his friends. When questioned, Jesus responded, "I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." This shows that engaging with others, even in less traditional settings, can be an opportunity to demonstrate Christ's love, with the intention of sharing the truth and Gospel, provided the situation does not lead you to compromise your beliefs or witness.
Ultimately, the decision to join your coworkers in any activity should be guided by prayer and reflection on Scripture and Christian convictions, the potential for positive interactions, and the likelihood of maintaining your integrity in the environment you'll be entering. Remember, there are many ways to form meaningful connections, but for Believers our friendships are to be with truly saved born again believers, specifically within your church, as they align more closely with your interests and values in the Faith, and can be good guides as you grow and become more Christlike.
You can be nice to coworkers, and occassionally hang out at your home or go grab a lunch out, but they're not permanently in your life like true friendships (which are to be with the brethren). The good goal being around coworkers and career peers outside work wpuld be to focus on and intentionally find ways to reach them for Christ with the Gospel and godly counsel.
Matthew 5:16: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven."
It is imperative you find a solid church home this week and begin creating solid close friendships with the ladies (brethren) there among God's people, being equally yoked. Your church community provides the strong foundation for friendships rooted in shared faith and values, and is one that lasts into eternity.
It's important to choose environments and companions who uplift and encourage positive growth. If you believe that the company or the setting may lead you into uncomfortable or potentially compromising situations, avoid it and look for other opportunities to meet new people; of the brethren.
However, Jesus also provides an example of engaging with people from all walks of life, showing love and compassion to everyone, but those relationships are qualitatively different, not in depth close relationships, and their purpose is to lead them to Christ.
Ultimately, the decision to join your coworkers in any activity should be guided by prayer and reflection on Scripture and Christian convictions, the potential for positive interactions, and the likelihood of maintaining your integrity in the environment you'll be entering. Remember, there are many ways to form meaningful connections, but for Believers our friendships are to be with truly saved born again believers, specifically within your church, as they align more closely with your interests and values in the Faith, and can be good guides as you grow and become more Christlike.
You can be nice to coworkers, and occassionally hang out at your home or go grab a lunch out, but they're not permanently in your life like true friendships (which are to be with the brethren). The good goal being around coworkers and career peers outside work wpuld be to focus on and intentionally find ways to reach them for Christ with the Gospel and godly counsel.
Matthew 5:16: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven."
It is imperative you find a solid church home this week and begin creating solid close friendships with the ladies (brethren) there among God's people, being equally yoked. Your church community provides the strong foundation for friendships rooted in shared faith and values, and is one that lasts into eternity.
Proverbs 18:24: "A man of many companions may ruin himself, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
We become like those we hang around, either to our folly or blessing. “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17.
God bless.
Footnote:
1 Corinthians 6:9-11
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.
We don't live as the unsaved and fraudulent proclaimers in Christ do.
More related verses. And more here
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Comments:
Sandra said:
40 years ago I had a friend say to me that she wished her husband would go to church with her, like mine did. She asked me to talk to him. I had the opportunity one afternoon, so I spoke with him. I was shocked at his reply. He said "what's the need, she wants to go out partying and drinking on Friday and Saturday nights and then go to church on Sunday. I just don't think that is right." I told them you both need to change your ways.
Don't compromise your standards. It will look worse for you, than for them. Double standard, I know, but there are unbelievers just looking for Christians to stumble or call hypocrites, and it keeps them from being drawn to Christ.
Renee said:
In other countries outside USA, there are believers and preachers who purposely go into old style bars to hand out tracts and share the gospel. I know people in N. Ireland who do so. But these are believers who mertbup to do that, and its allowed. The purpose of your outing with coworkers has a total different goal. Satan's goal is to try to pull you from the faith, make you feel clingy and needy for friends, and fall by the wayside trapping you unequally yoked in friendships with children of Satan. Don't do it. Stay the course with God, trusting he will bring the right godly friends in your life at the right time, and that starts with you obeying Scripture. Join a church, get plugged in, and pursue righteousness, and never compromise as you stand on truth and seek God's approval over your life.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33
