Help reasoning with my spouse about Weed
Q: I need some godly advice.
I believe that smoking weed is morally wrong and that you aren't putting on the full armor of God, and can be more easily defeated against temptation & also demonic attacks if you use it. And I even wonder if it can hinder your spiritual walk but also put your salvation into question.
We are newlyweds. My husband knew how I felt about weed before we got married, and I thought that he was against it too...but he waited until we were married to tell me the truth. 💔😔
He just recently bought some weed (twice) and told me today that he was going to buy some for when he plays video games, and I told him that while I cant stop you, I believe it's morally wrong and I'm worried about your salvation (and told him that I belive that the rapture could happen and he will be left behind if he's high or doesn't repent). He made it into a joke and said he won't deny Christ and he doesn't mind getting his head chopped off.
Is all I can do is pray for him? I use to smoke but stopped over a year ago due to my own personal conviction. Thank you in love. 🙏
A: Do you both have a church home where you are a member and are actively there every Sunday without fail - and integrated into the church life there? Is he also involved in the men's group and being mentored by them? Does he read the Bible daily without fail?
Is he actually saved? Is he mature in the faith and knows the Bible well? He is supposed to be the leader and spiritual leader in the home, and this isn't a good example he is giving.
Depending on how new a believer he is, if he is one, he should be seeking godly advice from the more mature men in the church, so his life is guided well by Scripture. Not going his own way. Also he should be asking himself how is wasting money on weed being a good stewards of God's money entrusted to him? If he's not trust worthy in the little matters why would God trust him with bigger things?
If he isn't saved, you had no business dating or marrying him, (if you were a believer before marrying him); your church shouldve required vetting him as a suitor AND having you go through pre marital counseling and classes before allowing a blessing of him. Either way people either follow God or go their own way. And if you went the wrong way, all you can pray for is you increasingly "living a holy godly life before your husband" so he comes to salvation, because that's all you can do (esp after getting yourself stuck due to rebellion against God's Word). Again, these are scenarios depending on your situation, that you have to consider.
Here are helps you can use to try to convict him in the area of smoking weed, if he is a believer. A believer seeks to live holy and is quick to take godly counsel and correction with gratitude and an open ear since either it's true or has some validity to it worth prayerfully considering. There are also other helps here for various other areas for conquering unrighteousness.
If he loves you as Christ loves the church, as he is called to do, he wouldn't do things that both harm his body and yours, nor do things like this which you have a real concern over. Additionally, causes him to be a bad witness to the unsaved around him and also to believers.
There are far too many people today who claim the name of Jesus, and have no problem being willing to die for a false religion, where they're blind to the deception of the fact that they're idolatrous false converts who embraced a false gospel and made a god of their preference who allows them to live sinfully to their desires. We are all to be sensitive to that and ensure we are saved and embraced the biblical Gospel. Therevis a real cost for becoming a followerbof Christ; we died yo sin and self, and Christ is now on the throne of our lives; we lovingly obey and desire to live holy as His servants.
If he is not actually saved, and his life clearly shows it, then this needs to be addressed, but preferably do so with the godly men in church coming alongside him. Seek their counsel and assistance with this issue to help you, so it doesn't cause rift in your marriage. They can come over to the house for a small church gathering and get to interact with him with a battle plan/game plan in advance, and let them address it. If he isn't saved, they can address that too to be a help and blessing.
If he is truly saved, then have them come alongside to convict and correct him, having smelled weed in the home when they come over. If he's not open to correction and conviction, his salvation is in question. However if he is saved and he heeds their admonition, even a little bit, understanding why it's not holy behavior, but continues to do it instead of killing that sin and conquering it... they need to start Matt 18 church discipline.
Do saturate this in prayer from start to finish. So God helps you be careful with the when and how and the timing of any of this, esp. your tongue and words, wisely speaking and not speaking, and with the hope of his correction & maturing, or if applicable his salvation & transformation.
Here are additional Helps related to this.
Church Matters- see church discipline related articles.
Additional helps for you living holy:
Growing in holiness - there are books and resources here also that you should go through beyond just the material here.
If by chance he is actually a Christian and is being a proper spiritual leader, you can both go through this material as Bible studies in your "daily family Bible hour" together to help you both mature in understanding of these things.
Voddie series: Love & Marriage
As to the possibility that you married an unbeliever... the unequally yoked resources here will help You live a godly life before him (in love & grace) with the hope that he gets saved one day.
Keep growing in the Faith. Read the Bible daily and stay close to God so your life will go well and be blessed.
God bless
