How, why & when do I submit to my husband

Q: We attend a new Church. We are fairly new to this denomination. Our Pastor is male. My husband is learning to step up and become the spiritual leader God intends.

Last night we had a discussion re: female pastors/preachers being forbidden and women remaining silent while in Church. I do often "interact " during the message... Affirming my agreement, etc. Other women in Church do the same.  I sorta asked Pastor about it last week, as I don't intend to be a distraction. He didn't seem to mind it.

 

I also listen to female preachers on YT. Now suddenly husband encouraging me NOT to do these things. 

Curious about this 🤔. Can I get advice??

A:  The verses stated here address this issue very clearly.

 

1 Timothy 2:12-14 

I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. [13] For Adam was formed first, then Eve; [14] and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 

The prescedent in corporate worship service seen in both these verses is: she is to remain quiet. And if there is anything she desires to know, let her ask her husband at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. 

1 Corinthians 14:33-35

33 For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints, 34 the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. 35 If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. 

Note vs 33b & 34a. As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches.

As in all the churches of believers. This is the precedent.  

God is the author of order, and not chaos or confusion. Regardless if you're a man or woman, God has set things in a particular order and the body should follow His precepts.

As to the ones you are listening to online... stop. 1. Because theyre not pastors and 2. Because your husband is your spiritual leader, you have to submit.

Ephesians 5:22-24: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."

Now if your husband wasnt saved, or is saved and is in sin... the only time you disregard submitting to him is:

"But [they] answered, 'We must obey God rather than men.'" Acts 5:29 

And why? Because he is not submitted to & following Scripture (lifestyle). 

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Ephesians 5:25

If he is living rightly in righteousness then he will lead you rightly. 

And you can lovingly submit since he has your best interests at heart and cuz God put him in authority over you. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5:21 and Colossians 3:18 "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." The point to this idea I am trying to convey is "as a believer and a wife, there is no harm in you doing various things or refraining from things asked by your husband because it isnt against God or righteousness". Why not be the servant like Christ our example? Afterall submission is linked to humility and as pastor MacArthur explained "Love is humility in action and it leads to selfless service." So if we are being Christlike, there's nothing to lose, and if you think there is then recorrect because its better to serve and give in than damage the relationship". 

Matthew 20:26-28 But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

Mark 10:45: "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many." 

John 13:15: "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you."

Philippians 2:3-4: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." 

Also: Proverbs 31:12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

Here are helps on these issues and others like it.

God bless.