We keep fornicating and I need advice
Q: My bf and I are professing Christians. The biggest thing we struggle with is lust. A few times we have said we need to stop but end up enticed away back into sexual sin.
I feel guilty for what I’ve done, and know it is a sin against both of our bodies. I don’t feel like he is as concerned as me about this. I just don’t know how to feel or what to do.
A: It is a sin against God not just your bodies, (See note here). The earlier a believer grasps this the far better off they will be at conquering and gaving victory over sins.😊
You both need to gain a proper perspective on who God is and His holiness. If you have a proper fear of Him and love righteousness... you will hate sin and conquer it anywhere it is found. Turn your back on any sin you are tempted towards, and pursue righteousness. Once you conquer it, it has no temptation for you...and no interest. ✔. Victory 🎉
Godly advice on relationships...
Dating is a modern construct to allow men to have free sex with you. It was never this way in the past among the godly. It was: only supervised courtship (with purpose) or godly arrainged marriage with your good in mind.
So...never be alone together. 1. Never go to each others homes. Only go to places where others are and accountability partners (chaperones) are with you. You can't be trusted alone; no one can be. 2.only do “standing” meet ups.wonly where you are in a public place and will be unable to lay down or be unseen. Go to the mall, go for a walk, etc. And 3. meet at church where you study the Word under teachers, and serve together there under godly supervision. Help with food prep, serving food, moving chairs, cleaning up, doing vbs helps, doing outreach together, handing out things, etc. Wherever you can serve as servants (under supervision).
He might not be saved so whe might be an idolatrous moralist and not a transformed one by God. If he is saved he needs to work on sexual purity. Below resource #2 has those helps for him (he needs to grow in the area of self control and sexual purity and in righteousness). He needs accountability with this too and to have godly men, from church, in his life, guiding him in righteous living.
He appears to be leading this for his self gratification and you go along with it for fear he will leave you. You dont need a child of Satan leading you into sin. It is possible he is not actually saved. Such a person is not respecting God, you or your parents by pulling you into the sin of fornication. If it doesnt stop, if he continues (trying to cut you away from supervision for gratifying his lustful desires) then flee him and treat him as an unsaved; have no fellowship with him. Cut him off.
Regardless, you examine yourself too, then go grow in holiness and the faith. Repent, turn from sin and walk rightly before God.
God bless.
Resources to help and bless you:
Proper fear of God comes from having a proper understanding of who He is.
*includes addl resources.
*bottom of pg has link to believers and sin. Go thru that too.
*see crocodile pg
*also has more resources to grow in sanctification for a godly walk in Christ.
Resources for young people
*Additional helps (and books) to guide you into holy living.
Heres help re conquering sexual sins, but also counsel for conquering other sins too (& to grow in holiness)
On self examination for ensuring you are saved, this will help.
God bless!
