Unequally Yoked husband only wants to watch tv

Q: I could just use some encouragement. My husband and I have been together for a little over 20 years. I was raised in a Christian home but was walking my own sinful path in my early adulthood, which is when I met my husband.

I was a false convert so at the time when we met, we didn’t seem so far from each other. Living sinfully we got pregnant and ended up married. I’ve kind of dealt with everything since, pushed through, and when we started having more kids, I started realizing that God was important to me, that the Christian morals I was raised with, I wanted to pass on to my kids... and so I started going back to church,  and have grown to where Christ is the center of my life, I want more God, less of the world, but... my husband has not cared for that change in me.

I would say my change has come slowly over the last 15 years,  the last five years.  I’ve changed the most, he says I’m not the person that he married, etc. And I tell him that everybody changes, everybody grows as human beings, that’s who we are and this is just the direction I want my life and there was a time where he would go to church with us on Sundays here and there, but nothing ever came of it. He says he believes in God, but doesn’t need him. I would say over the past year or more the last several months, we are both becoming aware of how differently our paths are going.

I want more of God and I no longer want my relationship with God to suffer because I’m in an unequally yoked marriage. His favorite pastime is watching TV. He could lay in bed all day watching TV (and has many times). I am more of the type of person that wants to be out doing things so I have frustration! We are frustrated with each other a lot! I’m sure he wishes that he had a wife that would love to lay around in bed, watching TV with him all day. I don’t like doing that. It gives me anxiety and I just wanna be making memories, going places, etc.

I don’t know how we can progress when I want to continue growing in God and becoming more active in church and being more of a hands-on, member of the body of Christ and my husband is still in a place where he doesn’t  even wanna hear the name God anymore, wants to live for himself, engulfing himself in TV and movies. We both know and have acknowledged that we’re not a good match for each other. My prayer is that God would take a hold of him, my husband would repent and turn his life to Christ, but what if that never happens. I don’t know how to progress with him at this point neither one of us want to leave or divorce and yes, we love each other, but we’re extremely different people at the same time.

A: Wanting Christisn morals and values doesnt make someone Christian. In fact it can cause them to be religious idolatrous moralists. If you have been born again then you will live as a Christ follower and love righteousness and God. You will continue to become more active at your local church, use your spiritual gifts there, serve God and the brethren. Youll find areas to help, serve and get involved in, including evangelism. He (unsaved husband) will take the path of those who are bound in the sin nature, so- YOU be faithful to God and go the path of righteousness, freedom & liberty in Christ (living in joy and peace). Light and darkness go diff directions. It's just a fact.

Note: Obey God over your husband as Scripture says. Hes not saved so he is not your spiritual leader, but on other matters he is your husband so submit. It does no harm and shows forth Christ.

Be sacrificial about those things. Its ok to kindly voice "i would choose to not do this x but prefer z, but will do x as I want to show Christ and God's love towards you. By putting you first." If we dont vocalize and live godly before unsaved spouse they just think you are a nice person or roll over. But if you associate why you are compromising [showing humbleness and servanthood like Christ did] then they can associate your deeds and behaviors to your faith...which could draw them towards Christ. If he has any love towards you he will not be totally selfish and do things you want to sometimes (unrelated to church life).

Focus on your constant growth and in living out the Faith. If he doesnt like it 🤷‍♀️ he can choose to leave, and that frees you to find a truly saved & mature man of God to marry - equally yoked. Until then, live the life, talk the talk, and center yourself in the local church & daily in the Word 🫂

For times you spend with him, one compromise you could ask:

1. 1x a mo to go out.
2. When together watching  tv... [hoping your tv has apps]... I'll hang out with you sometimes to watch tv, but only if I choose some things we watch together.

* [If hes not always in control you could pick stuff]. Then upon his yes... You go pick godly stuff when its your turn (that hour that weekend). Even if he wouldnt normally agree to it. Just put it on. Dont ask. It's your day of choice. He agreed and needs to kerp his word. If he storms off let him🤷‍♀️ You watch it. If he complains say "we're spending time together, and its not going to hurt you". Then smile & snuggle up.

Here are some ideas:

The Gospel of John movie 2003
Time Changers 2002 (free on tubi tv app)
The Case for Christ series (free on tubi)

Here are 3 free good videos about God, Jesus and the Bible on yt. Use tv app

You can try watching Fireproof movie (and the other ones from that production company).

Also Monumental [about USA].
And the Kirk Cameron Christmas movie.

And livingwaters.com has yt playlist with free movies [evangelism focused]. It could plant seeds.

You could try this short clip too - its the gospel presented easily. You could ask if he has ever understood the gospel so well presented before and see if you can ask if he wants to be right with God today. If needed you can explain that when he surrenders to Him, and God saves someone he transforms them to a lover of righteousness and your desires will naturally change to want to know God more, you want to read the Bible and go to church. Your desires are still yours and you do what you now desire. So it isnt something forced or drudgery.

As far as his beliefs in God... theyll always be idolatrous moralistic (he makes up a god he prefers; thats not the true one fully revealed plainly by Scripture) until he get saved.

If he is open to some sermons at some point, do this video series on God's attributes first. It helps him know who God us, so that the rest of what he hears about (sin and redemption and other sermon topics) can make sense. God's holiness is the foundational truths to build on.
*There are additional resources here might be a good blessing to you as you live out the Godly life before him.

For you:

Go thru this here too, for helps & guidance for living wisely while unequally yoked. 

God bless.