bf might be open to Christianity
A: First, keep the relationship platonic like a friendship for now. A. Do not be alone together anywhere he could try to put moves on you to cause you to sin. This includes no kissing, no cuddling. B. You would do well to have other believers around you when you both meet up, or a chaperone type person. This helps prevent lustful & sexual sins, (that can have consequences and disaster).
I do not think you need to step away from the relationship right now if you do the above and he agrees to it, as you both begin to pursue God seriously. Him at least agreeing to B.
If he walks away from pursuing God, and has no interest in truly living Christian then yes, break off the entire relationship and move on. God will bring godly men in his path to reach him. Do not keep any connection. Do a clean break. Then seek out a godly mature believing man in your church to marry.
I can give advice as to some other things, and hope it helps you both.
It is good he had some connection with God in the past. Bad experiences around that doesnt negate the truth of God's existence and us being made by Him for our life purpose. He seems to have a sort of view grasping at least the first part, so that is beneficial (on this path).
I think it is great you bought him a Bible. You could write on the inside cover a note, something like, "Darren I hope the Scriptures help you come to know God, understand His Holiness and our fallenness, but also help you get to know Christ the Savior. God has gone to great lengths and expense to bring salvation to those who believe. I pray you are among the redeemed, and that you find joy & purpose as you live for Him. And fellowship among the brethren at church." Dont sign your name, because if you break up he might toss the Bible, or a future gf or wife might. So just putting the note there is more than enough, and he will be reminded of these truths when he opens it the rest of his life.
Remember... it wont really do him any good unless he is saved, but you can pray that God draws him to Salvation so it will. 😊
So when discussing with him where to start, the key points are:
1. Get your salvation settled. Everything will fall into place after that. If you dont have the new nature the rest of this wont matter since it is of no value. (*you can share that with him.). Here is a brief gospel video you can both watch. Then say "knowing tomorrow isnt guaranteed for any of us, does it explain clearly why we need to get right with God, today?" Then hopefully he says yes. Then say " If you truly want to be right with God and have Jesus as your Savior, you can pray silently to God with a contrite heart, in repentance, and placing your trust in Jesus, & turning your life over to Him." After he prays, pray over him about this decision. "Thanking God for moving his heart and mind towards him and grant him spiritual life, transforming him from a rebellious sinner to a humbled born again believer who now hates sin and loves righteousness. Please give him the radical transformation that comes when you give Spiritual life to a believer. Help him grow in the faith and persevere until you call him home." Something like that. It isnt a miracle prayer, but if he truly got right with God, you've given him a bit of understanding of whats going on and should go on if he has actually been saved. You wont know for a long time if he wasnt saved, but if he was you should see a dramatic difference in his life and begin to see the Fruit of the Spirit (as it grows).
If obeyed the Gospel, his salvation issue is taken care of.
Now he begins his walk in the Christian life.
This includes:
*Reading the Bible daily. Make it the #1 priority of every day.
*Find a [biblical] bible Church to join
*Go see the Pastor for new believers counseling and to get signed up for a baptism class there, in preparation to join the church.
*Get baptized at the church
*Regularly attend Church every Sunday, and be active in the church from now on.
If he is wanting to live as Christian, you need to explain why Church a priority for him to be there every Sunday. He should rearrange anything getting in way of that.
On Sunday morning join the discipleship class. This goes over essentials and fundamentals. If they dont have a regular class for this (due to being a small church), ask the pastor if he and the decons could take turns taking you both through that kind of class.
*If they dont have ability to do this, it is bad and you should find another church. *So inquire about these 2 classes before you step into a prospective local church. They should either have one or be willing to drop everything to provide such a class for new folk. You dont want to end up in a stagnant church that isnt growing.
Note, if there are no other churches in your area or you want to speed through a discipleship/fundamentals course these are avail. Most are free. I recommend going through all of them, not just FOF.
After you complete the course, make it a priority to be in Sunday School and Worship service. This way you will learn more about Scripture. It is different than your personal daily reading time. Together all of these help you grow in the knowledge of Scripture so you can live out a holy life (becoming more Christlike), as you grow in sanctification, and live for the glory of God.
For adults, Sunday School usually has either an adults group for all believers, or couples.
There are other Bible fellowship groups at church that you both need to be s part of as well. They are geared towards men or women. For the purpose of fellowship and growth as believers. Once settled in Sunday School, join one of these. He will also get a lot of knowledge about being a man of God in the mens group so do have the decons encoursge him to join it (and be active there). It will help shape him for being a husband, leader and spiritual leader in the home when he is married, and to become a man of God and integrity until he is married.
After you get settled in the church
you can find out from the leaders what areas you can help serve (the Lord and congregation). Theyll know what is available and where help is needed. You can each pick something and work well as unto the Lord.
After you read the Bible cover to cover 2 or 3 times... if they have an outreach group, go join that. You go out in town in groups of 2 or 3. Split up and go learn how believers engage and answer questions. You can pray over every encounter too which is good cuz God hears believers prayers. You are doing a good work in the spiritual realm by doing that. It is an important role whether you are with boots on the ground or in prayer elsewhere.
Once you memorize important verses for evangelism (focuses on the essentials) then get trained in sharing the gospel itself, then in witnessing; get a handle on the top 10, top 100 and then top 200 faq and join the outreach group. Theyll let you handle the top 10 faq sometimes, and hop into the convos if you need help or if they need to swing a convo back to the gospel.
Truth is, believers have to still look up and learn a lot so we dont have all the answers. GotQuestions.org has 760k answers. It is a lifetime of learning and growing as a believer so... we need to simply get saved first and then pursue those answers [with spiritual eyes]. So the unbeliever doesnt need to have all their Qs answered b4 they turn to Jesus. They just have to see "why we need Jesus" and then simply just "obey" the Gospel. The rest will follow from there.
If your church doesnt have a outreach or evangelism group, thats okay. You both can just go prepare and do these things yourself. The evangelism resources in here provide full training, mostly it is free. And enough of it is free that it will equip you well.
The key point is, Jesus gave us this commission, so we need to be obedient and "go into the world and share the Gospel" [even if others dont].
If your bf really gets saved, and you ensure you really are too, then you can pursue a courtship and see if it leads to marriage. If not, perhaps you will just be brethren in Christ. But if he walks away from the faith, then you just keep being a faithful servant and child of God [as you move on]. ✝️😊
God bless
