Cultural Christian Spouse help
Q: Please pray for my husband of over 20 years to turn to Jesus. He has never been into religion and says he doesn’t think it’s worth his time. He lives by the rules of Jesus and is a good person. I just think it would help his depression issues if he can be a believer! It breaks my heart.
A: Prayed.
Prayer is good but action is also needed. It does sound like you have had faith based conversations with him but look for opportunities to do so more often. The below can help.
Christianity isnt a religion in the way of all other religions. It is simply living in truth according to God's design.
Moralism doesnt saved. All world religions and false "Christian" religions have a focus on moralism since they think man is good. Until God reveals the truth to them and opens their eyes theyll never be saved (into righteousness).
In the West many are living under the blessing of christianization, so they can see benefits of living out ways that are culturally Christian. But as you know, that doesnt solve their sin issue before God whom theyre accountable to. They need salvation & the transformation that comes with it.
I hope these can help as you plant seeds of truth, and to have the church also rally around him for Christ.
1. Have him watch The Gospel (short vid) "to understand why Jesus still matters today."
If he had a different religious upbringing [in addition] find a interview from livingwaters.com yt channel where there was a good convo with someone of that belief system. Otherwise the above one is fine.
2. Send him this Skeptics answers link, "to see if it helps answer questions he has about Christian faith."
On a Saturday where he is free...You could start by asking if there was one thing that has held you back from embracing Christianity, what is it. And if it can be answered would you turn your life towards Jesus?
If that faq is in the link above then send it to him and ask him to let you know (later tonight) if it answered the question. If he said sort of but still has a question on it or isnt accepting the answer say " you know what, Decon Frank is really knowledgable on faith questions, let's ask him for more clarity on this after church tomorrow". Then (in a few min from then) contact the decons and Frank [by fb messenger/group text?] and let them know your unsaved husband discussed xyz with you today and he is needing more clarity on the answer. Can Frank or one of them please meet us after church to give a solid and clear answer on this (he may have objections to what you say so be ready to give more clarity). Decide what is best - meet shortly in the foyer to discuss or if you want we can all go to subway or somewhere inexpensive where you can talk in a casual setting. You can even invite them to your home if it is clean and husband typically wouldnt object to that, (you can serve sandwiches or grab to go food while they talk there. You can exit the room so he/they can talk comfortably). Figure out the preferred game plan with them by text and go go go 😊. You can suggest to start at the foyer and then have the decon "suggest" to discuss it briefly over a bite to eat since it is lunch hour 🙂. He couldnt say no to that since he is likely hungry and they might be towards elder years. *make sure to get their food preferences and any sensitivities or allergies if plan is to meet at your place... so that if you are providing the food you can cater to what they all want/can have. Dont get anything any one of them are allergic to... as it being there could cause the reaction. * if they take any meds at lunch, remind them to bring it on Sunday so they can take it. A quick bite at Subway might be an easier option but you know your husband well so suggest to decons based on what you know would be more receptive to him.
Move the allergy/preferences info to a notes app. And then delete the convo...so he doesnt snoop and think it was a set up and get upset.
If you and a/ a few decons plan to go to subway, or a place to eat like Dennys, you could decide if its best for you and the wives to just go home, or to sit at a diff table far from them so they have privacy. It is probably better if you arent there. If he wants you there, and the wives come... set them at a distant table [so whatever they talk about isnt in his earshot], and you just say nothing during that gathering. Just eat and listen and stay out of it. Just eat and pray. And let the seeds planted help guide the future.
3. Depression/Self Counseling helps
His salvation is of more urgent importance than a better life in this temporary world. Our focus isnt on this life but eternity to come.
* These might bring some truth help to him but contents doesnt work unless someone is saved, since it only works for those with the new nature,... tho if he goes through the depression section and realizes the answer is in Jesus it could help in some way -even towards salvation.
4. Make sure you are at church every Sunday without fail. Sunday School and Worship, & serve somehow in some capacity such as food helps [at vbs, at events or handing plates out at Sunday outreach for the witnessers], being an awana verse hearer, clean up helps, visitor booth etc. Something that doesnt take up too much time but gives you a chance to engage with others and or just be a servant there so it is a simple example to your husband [who will see it at some point]. It also doesnt keep you from home too long if he doesnt come. If you are not a member at the church yet, join. And do so where the church formally votes you in/recognizes you at a evening Sunday service (so he can come to this celebration). Try to plan for there to be refreshments after and an opportunity to share your testimony too before the vote. In your testimony Talk about (briefly) your life before Christ, then when you were confronted by the gospel, that you got saved,... and how your life has changed since you got saved. (👈 that is about your sanctification growth). It gives him a chance to hear/see things he might not have realized about you. And get him thinking about his life. Make sure to try to emphasize that your faith isnt about living morally but that "God transformed you into a new creation and because of it God grows you in righteousness. You are still growing and will keep growing in faith and righteousness until the day he calls you to Heaven."
If he is not opposed to going to church "sometimes" - pre plan for the godly mature men, even decons and elders, to introduce themselves when he visits [intentionally seeks you out to do so], 1. (At first) have them offer to take you both out to lunch (so they can slowly purposely engage him), and accept! Let them get to know him, and 2. Then after 2 lunches out...they can have him come join a small meet up gathering [here they will be basically answering "why knowing Jesus is important", and have light get to know you chit chat to start. (Make sure they have refreshments and snacks for it. So it is more casual). The gathering can be at church or even at one of the guys homes for a relaxing outdoor patio scenery setting.
*You can pre plan that with the men [willing to commit] to help those unsaved who are in unequally yoked relationships with members. It could just be them meeting him (and expand to others in the church as a ministry later on).
He needs to be around godly men who are living uprightly and understand the Gospel, & apologetics in the way that they can answer his question objections to bring clarity on things that hold him back. They can clarify who God is so he can see He is trustworthy and not just some god like all false religions have.
3. They could take him on some "guys" Saturday outing to do something fun like boating, fishing, bird watching dogs walking at the park etc. [Non sports related]. To gain a connection with him outside of the church. Showing him Christians are not wierd people, not "religious", theyre are normal. But they need to begin the relationship in a purposeful church faith setting. >>Not the failed friendship evangelism method, as it gets nowhere and then fear of him leaving prevents them talking of faith.
The faith meetings need to be the main focus at the start. Even if it is a light start at first.
*Answer questions he has about life & Christianity
*Share the Gospel and why it is important
*Explain the essentials and a foundations study.
*To go through books such as
Hard to Believe, by John MacArthur
50 Reasons we Believe, by Busenitz
Person of Interest, by J Warner Wallace
To help him to grasp what he never understood before about Christianity.
They can even show/send him yt video answers to questions he has at the gatherings for a casual vibe.
Wrap up: Then after these gatherings have a call to action, to obey the Gospel.
And then join the Discipleship or Sunday School class.
You can only do so much, he needs manly influences towards Christ [outside the family aka - not you] to be an influence and among whom he can freely ask questions and actually listen to them. Remember Jesus wasnt recieved in his hometown or among his family - it is same principle & reason. He needs outside influence.
For You:
4. Unequally yoked resources
You have your work cut out for yourself, living more godly to be a best example witness to a unsaved spouse. You will need to tighten up many areas of your life and faith to draw him to Christ.
5. Resources for Growing Believers
This is for new and growing believers but it also has foundational and essential studies you should go through, but also the men could take him through, plus the Attributes of God study, and after that 10 commandments study. There are other self counseling helps, resources for people by age, gender and status, along with many other very great resources.
God bless✝️
⭐Bookmark this page so you can go through all these links and resources over the coming weeks and months.
