Are we married?
Are we married?
Looking for some godly advice. Im a born again Christian, but my boyfriend who ive been living with for about 5 years is not naturally interested in the things of God.
What I want to know is, are we married in God's eyes - because i dont see any clear requirements in the bible regarding what makes a couple married. Also if God married adam and eve didnt we dont need a legal system to marry either right?
If we're not married should i leave him? Or should i legally marry him?
Ps.
He is ok living in sin, and seems he's only changing now that there's threat of me leaving him (for a future godly man). I have no family or friends and have nowhere to go if we separate.
A: No. Scripture calls this fornication. And if he isnt saved, he is ok living in sin, so you need flee this unequally yoked relationship (you never shouldve even began). You as a "believer" can only date/court/ marry a true believer.
Ignoring this, rebelling against God and his design for godly marriage and relationships - it wicked behavior. Living in open rebellion to God will not lead to blessings, and will not end well for you. Sin (including living in it) also cuts off prayer to God. And that leads to loads of trouble and discipline by Him. There is much wrong with not being obedient. God wants to bless his children even in this world of suffering. He wants our home to be a place of peace and where God reigns 🙂. Where we have a godly spiritual leader and a blessed family, but also to be a light to the children and to the world when they see you on mission for Christ together. Christ radiates in every area of a believers life; thoughts, words, deeds and we cannot join ourselves to Satan's children.
The unsaved want whatever they can get free in a society that allows for relations (outside of courtship or arranged marriage) where they can prey on vulnerable or weak people and live out their sexual sinful desires. When years go by and you want marriage they will try all sorts of tricks and things to pursuade you to live unmarried (or to marry them unequally yoked so you are chained to a child of Satan - unable to live out what God called you to in a godly equally yoked marriage. They want to steal your blessings or prevent them). Flee from him now.
As a Christian you should be a member of a church. If you arent that is one reason for a lot of troubles popping up. You need to have a shepherd (of godly leaders) over you, a community of believers around you, and all (together) helping you grow in faith and living rightly.
Truthfully... If you were in Church your church family would never have let you date him, get this far, and wouldve been able to answer these basic questions for you 5 years ago. If you had, you mightve found and married a godly man worthy of being your life long husband and partner in the Lord.
My strong suggestion is to go find a bible church locally today, join it, and get their help to get you "out of there" and on the righteous path.
*There are believers who can let you stay temporarily with them, or the church has funds to help you with a place to stay for a month or two, as they help and guide you (out on your own). If you refuse this (action steps) 🤷♀️ it is because you love sin and not God. I pray you will do everything necessary to be obedient to God.
God bless.
Here are helps for finding a bible church
Here are helps to further warn and guide regarding relationships.
Here are resources for growing believers, and I highly recommend you go through these things and get your walk with God back on the righteous track. Otherwise you will move further from God and possibly prove to be a false convert. Self correct now, do a uturn before you hit the iceberg ...and sink your faith.
As to the question about marriage
Eden was the scene of the first marriage, ordained by God Himself. After Adam and Eve after more humans were made to create enough people for what is called government. God created it and instituted marriage and government. Scripture speaks on this clearly.
In addition, marriage is not just sex. It is also a covenant made in the presence of witnesses, which is why the father could refuse to allow the marriage. Without a covenant made in the presence of witnesses, there is no marriage.
Also, Jesus was at a wedding*. He clearly spoke on marriage and other topics. We follow Jesus example and thus need to be married legally but also only to someone who is a Christian. These are commands by God.
*by law Jewish people had to invite everyone and the wedding lasted 7 days. That is very expensive. It was law. It is still law. God commands believers to only marry believers.
Bible marriage was a covenant. A legal one. A double covenant cuz the engagement was legal and covenant that it will happen. The only way out was if you found out the spouse had fornicated.
The engagement & marriage was legally binding. The marriage came with dowery too. The marriage was witnessed by the entire town, legally binding. Divorce also came with written legal documents.
Christ has entered your life, your primary love is for Him (Luke 14:26). And loving the Lord goes hand in hand with obeying the Lord (John 14:15).
The commitment of marriage is about fully reflecting God’s character, unity, and fellowship. This explains why the apostle Paul describes Christian marriage in such lofty spiritual terms as are found in Ephesians 5:22–33.
When God made humankind male and female and brought the first couple together in marriage, He had a purpose in mind. The most basic purpose was that marriage would produce more people who bear God’s name, reflect His image, and subdue the earth (Genesis 1:26–28 and 2:22–24).
those who by God’s grace emulate the self-sacrificial giving of Christ, thus growing in His image (Romans 8:28–30; Ephesians 4:20–24). A good marriage will cost everything we have. And, in that giving, we will find the highest meaning of life in Christ.
For those who do marry, it’s important to have an understanding of what God intends marriage to be. We should not allow the sad experiences and negativity of others to deter us from trusting God to give us marriages that truly exalt Him. A godly marriage can fulfill His purposes and provide a husband and wife a lifetime of opportunities to bless each other and their family in the name of Jesus Christ.(1)
Related topics
What people need to know about Christians and Marriage
Go find a church today, and flee from that unsaved man today.
Footnotes:
(1) Marriage explained by Got Questions, from, the validity of marriage in today's world.
When did govt begin? (Pt2)
About Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage and Singleness. (See links).
*If you actually want to live a right life before God and really want the advice answers, bookmark this page so you can actually go through the contents in the links, and grow in your faith while being obedient to God day by day. 🙏✝️
