Unsaved partner is hardened towards God
Q: Today I’m just feeling hopeless. What’s weighing the most right now is that my partner has a hardened heart towards God. I keep asking God to soften his heart and reveal himself to him, but I just keep losing hope thinking “ignore the problem and it’ll find a way to figure it’s self out”.
I’m sitting in my car crying, Bible in hand just reaching out some assistance & for prayer. For myself, to help get me grounded, to stop questioning "my own prayer and faith" and for prayers for my partners heart to be softened to accept the Lord. It’s been a hard day. Guidance & advice?
A: What I'm going to say is meant in a loving caring way to bless you. The hard truth is you cannot assume just because you "pray" for it, that it will happen, that he will be saved. He might never get saved.
A lot of Christians do not know how to share the gospel because they themselves can't articulate it. But they saw it was reasonable based on evidence they examined when they git saved. However, many rarely ever share the gospel of salvation with anyone, and lack ability to answer basic objections. I do not know if you have shared the biblical gospel with him or helped him understand a few important things about Christianity, but give it a try. God will be with you.
Try to have a honest sit down faq time with him, and get to the core of the issue. Unsaved people love their sins, and so unless they want to examine it, [being led by God's Spirit to do so], to clearly see their danger, and accept the fact that YHWH is our Creator God whom we are accountable to for our crimes against Him, and that Jesus is the only Savior God has provide as a means of escape from His wrath and as a way to righteous living, then there's nothing else for them; there's only one name given by God among men by whom we can be saved. If they trample his blood after having the right knowledge then they've gone passed the point of redemption. God's patience does wear out and he can say "no more", plus only God knows if his name is written in The Lamb's Book of Life, so all we can do is bring the message, and dust our feet off and move on if they reject it.
He might not have enough understanding yet. It could be that he got hurt somehow by religious professing people and doesnt understand the issue doesnt lay with Christ but with fallen people. We humans are not good people, all are sinners, all do wrong things, everyone hurts someone, and "fakers" in church do too [but they slander Christ & Christianity by the damage they do too]. So addressing those objections (see below) might help lead him to Christ. Just pray for God to open his heart to truth as you reach out to him. And give him a sort of bit of time to process and think the stuff through. But do set up another meet up so you can find out if he decided to reject it or is open to recieve it. You need to act too once you know. Plus if he is an unreasonable person you def don't want to continue that relationship.
Here are some helps to have this "come to Jesus" convo. But do it in a caring, patient and way that's meant to be a help not a hindrance.
What essentials does someone need to "believe" about Jesus before they can receive salvation?
Skeptics FAQ answers here will additionally stop their objections, and bring them knowledge, so they can see truth and act on what they now know so they can run towards God for forgiveness with a contrite humble heart to recieve the gift offered to him in Christ.
I will say that (not knowing if you were an unbeliever before you started dating him or not), it is unfortunate you ended up in that situation. I would also assume you have no Christians, Church or Pastor guiding you in such a basic of our faith. If you didnt know before today that God doesnt want any of us unequally yoked... we are commanded not to be. If you are not married to him and he has clearly rejected the Gospel, you need to obey God and exit this relationship >> today.
Scripture is clear:
- If we love God & Christ we will obey his Word and do what he said.
-If we go our own way then we are being rebellious and prove that we do not love Him.
- It is idolatry and adultery towards God if you claim to be a believer but pick and choose what you will believe or obey. We are to live in righteousness walking the narrow way layed out in Scripture as believers.
- We are to love Him over even our own family, because we do not belong to this world but to the Kingdom of God and are Children of God, if we are saved.
You do not want the lifetime nightmare of what comes from joining darkness to light. It has no part nor place together. God wants abundantly more for us and to live a Christ focused life with our spouse. Plus, the husband is the spiritual leader of the home and if he is unsaved there is no spiritual leading happening. You cannot put yourself under the authority and lead of a sin and Satan led unsaved person. It will also destroy your children and they will have no shade nor shelter in that home as it would if it was led by a Christ loving and honoring husband.
And if your partner is a woman and you are a man, she wouldnt submit to your leadership because she has no clue (being spiritually dead) what treasure and blessing comes from a man who leads and loves his wife as Christ loved the church. She will simply trample on His blood, and live in constant rebellion towards you (just as she does towards God).
I do know that it is possible that 2 unsaved marry and one might come to Christ. I know that 2 professing believers marry and one can end up apostate, that a believer might wrongly marry a non believer and he can pull you far and fully away from God, or 2 marry and you thought your spouse was a believer (due to naive understanding) and 3 yrs later you find out he isnt really a believer but a Christianized idolator [false convert]. In such a situation you can pray daily for his salvation and live your best as a godly wife and example... but even after 25 years he might still be unsaved. Living moral or by his morals, but may never get saved in your lifetime. If he remains married to you and is faithful you are stuck. Don't waste your 80 years here on that and him when it should be lived as a team in and for Christ equally yoked to a believer. We were left behind to do the Lord's work, not do our own thing.
What we cannot NOT do is go into any relationship (dating or friendship) or business partnership unequally yoked. So I highly recommend you follow God's will... and go.
You can go now. Separate and *then* have conversations around the importance of him understanding what Christianity reveals [noted above], and give him a chance to come to a conclusion. But he should at least examine and investigate Christianity based on what Christianity teaches [not what others claim it does]. So give it a whirl and see if he comes to Christ.
*If he does, or claims he has, then watch to see if he had a God transforming conversion that produces true fruit. Not a short lived one that withers away after trials, temptations or persecutions. You need to make sure he is not a false convert before you start dating, courting or get engaged. You cannot marry him if he turns out a false convert.
*If he doesnt turn to Christ, break it off permanently. Block him from all calls and social media, let everyone know you broke up with him and are going to focus on the Word and later on looking for a godly husband.
And after break up...go gain a clear understanding of the devastation that comes from joining with darkness, to further open your eyes, and avoid it happening again.
If you are living with him, right now you need to move out today. If you don't have finances for a place, call your pastor or someone [of your gender] in the family, the church, or among your saved friends and see who among them can help you temporarily or rent you a low cost room, while you are getting your life in order. God won't bless you if you are living in sin, in fact He will discipline you. So heed this warning to avoid that chastisement. 🙏
Then, Follow Christ and grow deep in the Word, and if a mature godly believer shows up, God will move you towards the right one. Someone who will daily & actively lead you and your family in the Lord. Until then, dig deep in the Word and grow in faith. 🤗🙂. This resource will help you tremendously as you go down that righteous path of Faith.
God bless!
