Overcoming Hate - (plus understanding the Law, Grace, Sanctification & Growing as a believer)
Need help to overcome hate
Q: Jesus said the whole of the law can be summarized in just one law: "love your neighbor as yourself".
My problem is, when I'm around people who frustrate me, I cannot keep this law.
Also... say if someone tried to keep this law by going and living alone in the mountains, and deleting his social media, and never interacted with anyone, however, he bought a food truck, and drove to poor needy places and gave the food away for free every day. This was his only interaction with people. Is this not cheating God?
Because obviously most of the time if not ALL of the time, everyone will be kind and loving to him because he is giving food away. So he basically doesn't need to even try when keeping the commandments. PLUS he is helping the poor and the orphans. Double bonus. So, isn't this hiding from the world and taking a shortcut?
Jesus said what reward do we have if we only love those that love us? But when I'm around others that frustrate me, all I do is have murderous thoughts. So is this plan actually against God? I don't know what to do.
A: You missed the first part of thst verse which is the greatest commandment - to Love God with all our heart mind and strength. And that is because the rest flow from it.
When God converts a person they are radically transformed into a new creation. Their inner self is transformed so thst we can live out that "Law of Christ" by the new nature.
Christians don't live legalistic lives nor run & hide from the world. Jesus asked the Father to help those of His who are in the world. The born again live in the valley of the shadow of death (in this world), but the redeemed are not of this world (we belong to the Kingdom of God and light> not of the kingdom of darkness and death). Our thoughts and ways are like God's as a child of God, and while we travel through this life on our way to glory [Heaven]... he left us here to love others and glorify God by our lives, as well as to be messengers of the Gospel.
The person in the scenario shows there is a heart issue. And your overall question or struggle needs a clear understanding on a few things incl. salvation, sanctification & the Christian life.
While you are showing you are wrestling with right and wrong and with the sinful nature in this area... it doesnt necessarily mean you are right with God and are able (thru His power) to live in righteousness, so my first question is... are you born again? Jesus said we must be born again - by God. Without being saved (the Holy Spirit converting you & living in you) you cannot live in righteousness, you will simply try to live morally and idolatrously (like those in other religions or those in apostate Christian religions and cults).
Jesus and the Apostles explained that if we hate someone we are a murderer at heart. He gets to the inner problem, the heart issues, of fallen sinful man.
Matthew 5:21-22
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment
1 John 3:11-15
For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another, 12 not as Cain who was of the wicked one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his works were evil and his brother’s righteous.
13 Do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. 15 Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
Scripture tells us those who hate are not of God. Yes we hate our own sin yes we hate evil but not hate other people. We are all image beareres of God but are also all fallen. And it is only by God's Grace that he saved us, or we would be just like the unsaved.
We who are saved "love" because we now have the righteous nature, and the Fruit of the Spirit. We love God and love others (naturally in the new nature) but we grow in our understanding and applying and living out that love (in our thoughts, words and deeds daily as maturing believers).
We are to have patience with fallen people, and even if God brings thorns in the flesh (as Paul put it), or other trials and temptations and challenges to us it will be in areas we need to grow - so we can mature in the faith. And that includes to help us love others more. God loved us while we were His enemies and he went as far as death for us. We are told to love our enemies, and because God lives in us through Christ our Savior he enables us to love as he does. And to show grace, mercy, forgiveness, and even go the extra mile.
Here are some verses on loving those who are enemies of righteousness.
Secondly, are you a member of a local biblical church? Because this is a good question to ask your Sunday school teacher or decons there so they can educate you deeper & more robustly on this topic, and other questions you have.
And remember, that we would be in their place too if it wasnt for God's Grace towards us to save us, but also note we are to be shining forth the Light and gospel so we draw people to Him too. We do not know who are unsaved enemies in our interactions who will come to salvation, so we need to do our best.
Start memorizing Scriptures to hide in your heart and recall them when you are having wrong thoughts. Repent of them in prayer right then to God, and focus more on growing in your right mindset in these areas you are weak in, and eventually it will become second nature and you will have conquered that area, and move on to other areas.
Even myself as a matured believer find areas I can go deeper into understanding something more and more and gain more maturity than I realized where was still lacking, because I understood something I had never knew before. The Christian life is one pf never ending conforming - to the likeness of Christ. He is our righteous example both as a perfect human but also as God.
We will keep maturing in the faith until God brings us to eternity where we will be perfected there, and never deal with sin related things again. Until he returns or calls us home... press onward to run the race and focus on the prize that awaits.
Q2: but there are so many verses in scripture that say we MUST be perfected and uphold the law completely.
A: We are being perfected (through maturing in the faith) by the sanctification process. We are not the ones upholding the Law - Christ did that already on our behalf.
The Law shows we are not perfect and "cannot live up to the Law" because we are fallen (thru Adam) and all have a sin nature. Jesus was perfect as the 2nd Adam who never sinned but always obeyed God. And God is perfect. So the God Man who is 100% God and 100% man was able to live the perfect life to be our perfect substitute. Nobody sinful can uphold the law revealed by a perfect holy God...because it reflects God's perfect, Holy and Righteous nature. Fallen sinful mankind can never be perfect like God (in this life) because that was lost at the Fall. This is why Scripture tells us "The Law was our Schoolmaster to lead us to Christ". We needed the substitute to be saved; made right with God and to receive the righteous nature.
And it is because Christ fulfilled the whole Law in our place. When we come to Christ for salvation... Jesus not only paid our debt in full to God but it is as if we traded places with Him. It is like the OT sacrificial system it was (symbolic) "the shadow" of what was to come (Jesus the perfect lamb of God on the cross). We traded places and the Father now sees us as the righteous Son. Jesus redeemed us from the curse of the law (of sin and death) [and in Him we have been given spiritual life and life eternal.]. This is one reason why we believers are called the sons of God or children of God.
So having the requirements of the law fulfilled, we simply grow in our sanctification to become more like Christ (by reading and obeying the Word)...out of love and gratitude, and because we love righteousness now.
Q3. But then does it mean it's ok for me to break the law? For example worship idols?
A: The moral law? no. NT addresses this. And you will come to grasp it better once you get to it [after the gospels]. It is because of the righteous nature that we no longer want to sin and do what is evil. We will have a battle between our sin nature [we still drag around here 😔] and our new nature 🙂, and through self control and applying Scripture as we mature [see armor of God in Scripture] , we then conquer sin one by one and have victory over it.
Example: if someone was a gambler before they got saved and still did it sometimes afterwards, they would grow in understanding of what Scripture teaches, not just the words that are there like "do not this or that", but would grasp "the overall teaching" and "spiritual principles" that the Word is actually saying. They would mature and come to understand problems with "discontentment" and "not trusting God to provide for them", so they then (action/obedience by the power of the Holy Spirit) put their trust in God who loves him to provide for him and [as a more mature person later on] looks (eagerly) for how God will provide (even in the 11th hour) or (positive minded) is looking for what he is doing in that situation if it isnt provided [that is a longer deeper convo than space allows; yes, no, maybe, wait, later, going to do something else]. But you can get the point here.
The person moves from 1. just doing what he wants to 2. having clarity in their new nature and 3. goes from knowledge to trusting to... 4. fully relying on God in all situations.
With faith comes trust, obedience/action.
Thus he has no temptation or desire towards gambling anymore. He conquered that sin. He doesnt even think about that anymore except when he's grateful God led him out of it (and when using that to witness to the lost, or counsel & encourage other believers).
Gambling is about not trusting God, discontentment, coveting, greed, and idolatry. So he's able to conquer many sins, and grow in many areas by conquering it.
Side note.
Now if you are the person in the example, then God has allowed you to have a business. So run it with true integrity. With true Christian values. Be a blessing to all people. Use your money wisely, including the fundings you get from others and grants to run it. But also use your time wisely. You can listen to biblical sermons while you drive, and the Bible on audio. You can play Christian music softly in the background while the food truck is open. You can hand out a gospel tract with every food order handed out. And the giant million one [folded up] for elderly who need big print 😊. You can engage in conversations to lead to the gospel. Since you encounter many people, you can even take surveys from people 365/annually and share the results online in Christian groups [to encourage others & provide helpful statistics they can also share].
God might very well want you in this job at this time for these/His reasons... and later He might move you to become a missionary or in local Gospel ministry [whether you work full time elsewhere or your church and others fund you to gospel ministry pt or ft], or to a secular job where your mission field is there.
Biblical definition of love is a conscious decisive action, not really a feeling, so you can not like what people do (even those who are enemies of Christ) but also love them.
Pray that God help you and change your attitude, and give you growth to love others and live out the Fruit of the Spirit more and more. You can start by practicing the actions below
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
There is a believers study on the fruit of the Spirit, and other related Christian living, and understandings of Scripture in the below resource.*
And if you are not a member of a local Church you can find one there as well.
God bless.
Helpful Resources
Examine Yourself humbly
Growing Believers Resources*
Love and Forgiveness mindset
100 verses on Loving Others
100 verses on Loving God
Related Helps
Further look at Gambling example
Holiness of God & Sin
Conquering Sin
Self Counseling helps to conquer sins
More
Christian Music
Gospel Tracts
Evangelism training
Survey Ideas
