My Child wants to be a Pastor*
Q: What would be good resources to help encourage my son towards pastoring? He is only 8, but he has mentioned several times that he would want to become a pastor "when he grows up".
He has also mentioned other career choices as his little heart entertains the idea of being an adult. I'm just curious what my husband and I could set before him as he gets older that might help nurture this potential calling he has.
He is a decent reader. We read scripture daily together, we only listen to praise/worship music, and he reads his Bible independently (currently reading the book of John).
My husband and I are not at all pushing anything on to our son. But, we do however see the current condition of the world, our nation, the church and want to equip our son especially to be prepared for the future.
He has, on his own, mentioned several times the idea of being a pastor. It catches us by surprise. I don't know how the idea came to live in his little heart, but it's there. Maybe it's not a path God will lead him on, but maybe it is.
We just want to do our best to help build him up in the Lord, and we known that God will use him one day, as He has already prepared.
A: Here are a bunch of ideas that could be helpful to you.
Be in a church where biblically-grounded shepherding is modeled for him. From expository preaching to discipleship to servant leadership.
More than anything "academic," help him develop a shepherd's heart. The knowledge aspect can be learned relatively quickly, but it's difficult and more time-consuming to change one's posture towards people.
I’d encourage him to get as much “normal-people” life experience as possible so he can actually understand his congregation… this is a skill that many pastors lack. I wish every pastor were required to get a 9-5 job for a # of years before entering the pastorate. * And in his teen and working years... get to understand real problems biblical Christians face in the workplace today.
Start with the basics. Make sure you’re raising him to be a masculine man
Keep him connected with godly men in the church at many opportunities and when he is older have him join godly mens group.
Help him get involved with men in the church around age 11 and in serving with them and in visiting elderly and those in hospitals, so that even if he doesnt become a pastor that experience and tender heartedness to peoples "real life" will help him in his Christian life loving others and caring about souls.
I'd ask your own pastor(s), as well!
Teach the Scriptures around God's expectations of young men and on godly living.
I’d focus on the simple list of requirements for elders and the warning of James 3.
If he can’t get the basics down like consistently being obedient to mom and dad joyfully and being above reproach (displaying integrity all around), there’s no point in pushing him toward that. The warning in James is for full blown adults, so I’d say let the warning be louder for a child. Encourage him to pray about it and the Lord will direct him.
Focus on developing the pastoral qualities and character Scripture requires in 1 Tim 3.
Teach how to grow closer to Christ and character training. Lots of character training. Conversations about why godly character is important, bringing up now and then that if he wants to be a pastor, these are things that are very important.
I’d probably ask him a lot of why questions about why he wants to be a pastor honestly. It might reveal that his intentions aren’t necessarily in good order.
Suggest books that help teach evangelism since his heart might be focused on Jesus and the only job he knows of is Pastor. But show that he can share Jesus with anyone regardless of his job.
*Each chapter is a short biography of a boy who grew up and used their profession to spread the gospel.
Here are some other stories that show adults sharing the gospel in different situations and varied conversations
You can let him read about or share with him age appropriatly.
And here is a book Resilient Pastor written by a Pastor who was in the mission field as a child, who speaks on the hard job of a pastor and things congregants dont think of.
I think (over time) giving him plenty of good age appropriate biographies of pastors and missionaries to encourage him, and also build a wisdom of what is necessary. This will can also give a picture of God's provision to faithful Shepherds who acted not by their own strength but in humble reliance upon the Lord.
He needs to be prepared for a life of significant suffering. The suffering of pastoral ministry is unlike any other suffering in the world. There is a reason so many pastors and their wives (and sometimes children) have complex trauma. The more discipleship and mentoring he can get toward having an emotionally healthy faith, and the more resources he’s given, the more prepared he will be for the hits and betrayals he will face as a pastor. There are unsaved, false converts and non mature believers in church and he will be harmed by their behavior and speech.
Look for opportunities to interact with a wide range of people/ages. Communication skills are essential. Focus on cultivating good observation skills as well as critical thinking skills. Cultivate opportunities to serve without expecting rewards and ways to be kind. None of these things happen on their own.
He could go on to become a Chaplain or bi-vocational pastor, or just a regular gospel sharing Christian who reaches people where he works and lives.
Just continue to train him up in the way he should go. He may not become a pastor, but he will be the father of your grandchildren, and a husband.
Prepare him is with the knowledge of the Word, and teach him how to be a godly man, prepare him to be a spiritual leader at home, how to share the Gospel, pray and let God do the rest. 🙂
Whether or not your child wants to be a pastor or whatever they might say, there are some basic biblical principles that we all have to keep
Follow God's Word - keep reading, praying, confessing, living, discussing, applying
Memorize God's Word - verses, sections, chapters, entire books
Heart on Rejoicing in God - Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs together
Live God's Word - worship, work, service, fellowship, faithful living
Testify God's Word - Matthew 28:16-20
Be equipped to and Share the Gospel.
________
Note on grasping/clarity of Suffering & Sin
Help him understand depravity of man, sin, the fall, how sin affected the world and constantly causes suffering, pain, disease, illnesses, hard struggle in life, and death. The wages of sin is death. Help him understand cancer and bad things happening because of the fall and individuals sins that have ripple effects on others. Ofc you would do age appropriate understanding of this at his age but also when he is 12 go into it much deeper and when 15 or so also. So he can grasp why the world is like this, and how Jesus is the answer....and that he will bring us to a sin free eternity. If he has had a family member or pet (like a dog or cat) die and he could understand that they are not here anymore, he might be able to understand the above pretty well. But more and more as he gets older.
I see all kinds of headlines in the news where kids die from cancer, car accidents, 2 year olds shot in the park who died, teen dui deaths. Even a LA county news piece saying the #1 cause of death in 30 and under age was from car accidents; either being in one, or distractions, or from drug or alcohol dui's. You can see cop car chases on freeways that end in suspects death, or a father flying a plane and goes down and young kids and whole family dies. And all the other varied things we see in the news. Use news headlines or clips to point to Christian worldview on it (age appropriate).
Use those to talk about Fall sin and death but also Christ. And Soverignty, and not to be afraid of living or dying but trusting God. But also share your evangelism encounters and witnessing stories from your past with him regularly so he can start forming and understanding the gospel and false religions when he is old enough. I think I learned about false religions when I was around 14 or so but today kids can grasp this younger. Maybe teach the gospel & help him understand it clearly at his current age, then revisit it every year and add more clarity and deepness of knowledge about it so by 12 he really gets it, and you can then introduce the world of false religion to him.
There are simple and more deeper books on this. To start at 12 these are good.
World religions in a nutshell
The School of Biblical Evangelism book. It also has an audio ver thats good to get with the book at amazon.com so has ability to review it in car on drives or whenever.
And teach how he needs to care about others souls, love, grace, and patience while lovingly telling them the truth, but also how he should think and respond to rejection, hate and persecution. That will help him go fsr as a believer and one who shares the gospel (pastor or not).
Bonus material.
*There are several messages for men and men in ministry at gty.org (searchable). Might be good to go through those, and in time share them with your son.
