Suffering Struggles - help *
Q: Struggling and need counsel.
I am a Christian and under age 30. Does God hate me?
I was kidnapped from my mom by my father at 7. Went through Hell, a lot of mental abuse, and very screwed up now due to it.
I only had my mom in my life again for seven more years before she died from very bad health. Then moms cat died. Then my great aunt passed shortly after.
I pray and pray but nothing changes, nothing happens.
I wake up and it is more misery. It never ends!
Now currently I have no vehicle due to a car lot situation and my wore out truck decided to start dumping it's transmission fluid out.
I need a vehicle due to my brother being Type 1 and I don't know from one day to the next.
My 80 yr old grandmother is in bad health and I have concerns she may need to go to the hospital in a hurry. Not only that, the vehicle issue could cause me to lose my job.
If God is so great, why are there always problems and why is he bent on sending me to a mental breakdown?
Count my blessings? They are so small and so far in between that it's shameful. Why he keeps putting me through this when he knows it's destroying me completely?
You don't know how bad I just want to end my existence like you don't know how many years I've been at this point!!
I'm fed up, stressed out, wore out. Dig deeper? I can't dig ANY deeper!
I wake up and more is piled on!
If God is so great, then why don't he actually help me? This ain't any sort of help. This is torture. This ain't love. This is misery. This ain't blessings. This is curses.
A: If you are a believer God loves you. You do need to realize that God is blessing us and giving grace and hope [when we as sinful humans do not deserve it]. You also need to be careful not to point a finger at God because "the clay" has no right to, the sinful human cannot dictate nor assume what is going on (we might see a few things after the fact, but the radiating happenings of it is only known by God). For believers "God works all things out" in this fallen world, and it is always for our good & his purposes. So we just need to trust him and keep moving onward.
If you look at what you noted it appears like Joseph you were stolen away. And God did reunite you with your mother. And God blesses you in that and also her being in each others lives for 7 more years. Hezekiah was given some extra years of life by God too. And Joseph was reunited with his family too. Job went through a lot and was more blessed in the end than when he was suffering. God led him through that season and was with him but also realigned him with proper way of thinking. We got to see the whole picture behind the scenes which included things Job had no knowledge of. So we too might not (in most situations) know what is going on, but we can trust our loving and faithful Father as believers.
Your family was blessed to have you in their lives, and with a loving willing heart you've helped them in their suffering and struggles & illnesses and were/are a blessing in their lives.
He knows your concerns. God will provide if we "are seeking His righteousness first" Scripture tells us. So while you have vehicle problems and concerns for your job, know that: 1. It is possible you might lose those, but God will have reasons and plans in that, even a new job if need be. He might be doing something in your life or moving you to a new job [mission field].
2. Others around you can be a help in those times when you cant help, and having friends and a supportive church (as a member) folk there will be willing to help. Both in between having & not having your vehicles, but also church family who can help out, or loan a vehicle, know someone who can help, help with repairs, or help you find an affordable replacement.
3. For those who pass before us, in the Lord, we will see them again in eternity. And that is far better and longer place of living [eternally] than the troubles we faced here.
I'm dying of incurable cancer, teens & those under 30 killed in car accidents (are the #1 cause of deaths in L.A.), kids die of random accidents, and regardless of age 160k enter eternity every day. We are not promised long life but believers are promised sin free eternity with Christ. 🤗.
For those who are unsaved this is the only kind of heaven they will ever know, and fir believers this life on earth is the only kind of hell we will know - because Christ took our eternal punishment on the cross.
Next, realize we are called to "examine yourself" to ensure you are in the faith. It is possible you came to faith at a young age so you always believed and never had a specific date of salvation that you recall. But,
There's a false gospel in todays world that is not the biblical gospel. And you need to make sure you obeyed the true one.
Next, remember we are living in a fallen world. As a reminder of Scripture, God created everything perfect, man messed it up, sin, corruption, death, disease, pain and hardships entered. And perpetuates because most people are not saved and live in sin, believers of course have the righteous nature but we also still war with sin. We lament like Paul while also are to conquer sin, align to God's will, focus on becoming more like Christ, and have a heavenward mindset while soujourning through this world as we head to our eternal destination.
We have what Scripture calls nothing different than what is common to man in our struggles - except noting believers face persecution, unfair treatment and even death for our faith. While we suffer some (what seems like) setbacks, God uses or directs those things so we refocus on Him, rely on and trust Him and can also use those situations to discipline, refine us, or for us to be looking for opportunities to minister to others around us in that [evangelism or counseling] and to look at ourselves [as noted] to grow us and to also celebrate and praise God when he walks with us through it to the end.
We need to be content with where we are in life, content with what He provides, contentbwith where he is leading us, content in the process trusting Him, and content at the end of it [and every situation]. Some times are rough in this sin stained world, but He is always with us and we need to keep our eyes on him.
I would like to recommend these two books, the latter having an add-on audio option (which i recommend so 3 books total).
1. Freewonderfulbook.com pdf
I'm sorry you are going through a difficult season. When in a Valley, reading the book of Job and the accounts of the crucifixion help take the focus off "myself". Job serves as an example to emulate, as do others in the Bible. Jesus loved me so much he was willingly tortured and too God's wrath on himself for my sins, & was crucified for me. I find comfort in the Word of God which does change the way I view the world.
We are not promised a good life here, that comes in eternity. We are stuck in a sin stained world right now.
I know it can seem hard in the moment but if we have a Christ focused way of thinking as believers, things are less of a struggle and disappointment.
Additionally, God blesses us and is gracious to us who only deserve judgment but have been given forgiveness, joy, a promise, and a faithful Savior who is always with us.
God has told us in Scripture that He cares about every detail of your life. You can trust Him and He is faithful to never leave you or forsake you.
Here are also some verses to look at and meditate on, in addition to the wise and good help in those noted books.
Remember blessed are those who wait on the Lord. Look at to Isaiah 30:18 - And therefore will the Lord wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the Lord is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for him. I know it is hard to wait on God.
Believe me I’ve had to wait for God’s answer to many of my prayers. And truth be told I’m still waiting for God to answer some of my prayers (that I’ve prayed for decades now). But I know God has not forgotten me. If you sometimes feel like God has forgotten you... Look at Isaiah 49:14-15 - "But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee." The Hebrews felt like God had forsaken them but God says I will never forsake you. Can a mother forsake her child? In most cases the answer is no, but there are times when a mother may forsakes her child and it is tragic and hard to believe when we hear of such cases, in this fallen world. God, however, is not like us and He will never forsake His children. In other words, you can count on God’s love even more than you could count on your own mother’s love. Now that’s a bold statement. 🙂
You need to hold on to that bold declaration from God when it seems like God is not answering your prayers. Look at Lamentations 3:21-26 - "This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord."
If you need to read and reread Lam. 3:21-26 every morning and every night until you are seeing "indeed God blesses you and answers your prayers" then I encourage you to do it. His answers might not be what you want but are the best and we need to submit to whatever it results as.
But praying alone isn't all you need to do, as noted above you need to not just set your eyes on Christ, but also make changes in your heart and life to align to God's will, so you can live rightly in every circumstance. And regardless of the prayer answers.
Hope the above and the below help. Take some time to go through it all and read those books. They'll help you in your Christian life.
Helpful Resources:
Books & Audios
1. Freewonderfulbook.com (pdf)
2. Self Counseling *
* the audio is great cuz you can listen, the book is good to bookmark & flip back through for review/reminders. So I do recommend both.
Growth Helps:
Dealing with Anger & Pride
Dealing with discontentment
Right Mindset
Understanding Sin
Surviving Suffering
Prayer helps
🌟Bookmark this page so you can go through everything here this month. 😊
