How to handle when Pastor is admonished by a congregant?
How can a Pastor deal with being Admonished by a congregant?
I am a Pastor and have recently had a female Deacon approach me and rebuked me (she actually said 'i want to rebuke you for something you said' for calling (during a sermon) her non-believing family "fools" because, in their heart, they say there is no God. Her reasoning was that it hinders the gospel.
(Update: Deacons within my church context is a servant role and not a leadership role (e.g. they hold zero spiritual authority), and her family was not in attendance, nor did I call them by name.
How would you handle this?
A: I am sure you do know that all can be corrected regardless of position because we are all equal as followers of Christ.
With that said, in this case, I have a hopeful feeling that alongside that biblical truth [People who don't believe in God are fools] your sermon also addressed why and shared the actual gospel. If so, the facts of the verse you shared wasnt to be holier then thou but used to point to the folly of people pretending the Creator doesnt exist (and their false thinking that this means they have no accountability to Him for their sins).
If you specifically called out her family, if they were there or not, then it would be a matter of did you speak to those visitors or long time visitors about the gospel and then brought others along and then spoke on it, to encourage them because they keep coming but are not turning to God. Because, while we cant hold non believers accountable for sin, we can sorta use the principles (such as that) to reach them. Plus if theyre regular attenders (for whatever reasons) theyre still technically under your authority as Shepherd. I know theres a distinction, but you sharing Christ outside the pulpit with them and in the pulpit (either in general or/then directly) is fine because you care about their soul...and it pierces the hearts of the others there too who are unsaved.
On the other topic, I do think it best to dissolve any "titles" for women in the church as the women might assume they have some biblically blessed leadership role or think they are untouchable. A female decon biblically is just a regular servant like the rest of us, we all should be serving. I don't like when churches today use that term or title for women; totally shocking. And in today's culture it is connected to more liberalism of feminism (which is why they lept from deaconness to female preacher). Giving an inch by mistake ends up a mile.
I do think the way the lady worded her percieved issue was odd. Idk anyone who goes around saying theyre going to admonish someone. They should simply lovingly come along side and ask to chat, and get clarity on why something was said a certain way (since to her it felt like an attack). Then you could counsel the person on the matter, and if she listened to the sermon note how she missed the greater message in it (and in Scripture) because they fixated on "fools" and likely heard nothing else in the sermon. The sermon is also likely recorded and you can direct her to [besides showing her in Scripture where it discusses this in several places] listen to the sermon.
The issue of properly admonishing or correcting someone could be something to also address "congregation wide" at announcements time, on proper way to approach someone to address their perception of a need for exhortation, admonishing, correction etc.
It is also a good opportunity to additionally explain proper escalation of confronting others in the church discipline proceedures. And that can help you [kick off] institute it there if it has not been a practice at that church.
Every believer should be grateful for anyone bringing something to our attention, but if its done with wrong motives or self righteously as if theyre perfect [whether or not they incorrectly grasp the issue] then something is also amiss there. And it would be good to counsel with that specific person to clarify that.
Update: i was about to add if they werent in attendance then her comments are very left field and she def needs to not have that title anymore. Since she doesnt even understand the basics of the Gospel and truth on this kind of matter. She shouldve agreed about that biblical truth and been concerned for her family. She's not spiritually mature.
It is possible the overall congregation lacks grasping these kinds of matters, so... I recommend that it might be helpful for the church to go thru an Evangelism course with some apologetics (and also address her objection issue in it - whether you counsel her about that issue right now).
I would recommend this course:
1. Course videos https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIMAX6WHtnhBZQN47uyPlmaokO9NXodrU&si=Ad1eG3Ci0nJu2lWg
2. Book to supplement with it. https://livingwaters.com/store/training-course/school-of-biblical-evangelism-textbook/
3. You can add other apologetics info for like the top 20 current common objections to Christianity to the class. You likely have an idea, or can poll the church [to go to FB and take the poll and add other objections they hear, and add those to it. *Do this in preparation for the course - before you announce it].
These guys've done most of the work for you, so if you do it when most are there (Sunday School, or wrangle them on Sunday with a potluck lunch) you can get them thru it. Afterwards, it will better equip them for their daily walk, removing doubts, and helps to evangelize. So it helps believer and the one they witness too. 😊
If the church is a lazy one where most don't go to Sunday School, then (consider) do it in place of sermons as an event for a couple months, not a zoom event. Lazy ones won't go to a multi week course or join zoom, but it seems fine to take a "sermon pause" to educate on such vitally important work with the congregation.
God bless
P.S.
I also do appreciate seeing pastors seeking help today. Many do not have an association of pastors or network of pastors around them to get advice. Some are solo on their own. I am thankful the internet era has brought wonderful helps to all the brethren.
I don't know any of your background or education but I heard a particular message about pastors, and about this book. If you read it, I do hope it blesses you.
*And if the reader is a Christian, it would be helpful to read as well so they grasp the issues a pastor deals with daily, monthly, annually and how it also impacts his family. And I do hope you bless your pastor with this book. Find out if he prefers kindle or print versions before you buy it.
Footnotes:
*For anyone who objects to this course or ministry for the varied reasons, you will find the discussion and rebuttal here, which should eliminate that concern. (💥 Links Coming soon)
Teach it well and there's no problem. You are the one leading it, so add clarification without throwing the meat of the course away.
