If you are reading this you might have been befriending bad company, those who are Satan's children, and/or are looking for good ones, or are simply looking for Christian friends in general. Whether you are in school, college or just out of college this can help.
If you are in bad company and exiting those relationships... You do not need to even let them know you arent going to be friends with them anymore but just spend your time not with them.
Guide to finding friends
When looking for Christian friends hopefully your school has either youth from your church there you can join, or if not, a Christian club; but make sure to only friend those who are real Christians. Not only are many in so called Christian clubs actually cult members but also those who go to false churches and those who are false converts.
So regardless of your age group and where you are... at a church group or at a club ask questions of those there when you have an introduction meeting to learn about everyone.
You could suggest a introductory or Get to Know you Survey be done and shared with the group. They do not need to know it is how you are looking for the true believers and more mature in the group.
If there are no Christian groups at your School or you want to create one for biblical protestants, do so. A religious group is not discriminating by not allowing non Christians, cult people, and no lgbt+ and no pro women pastors into the grouo. You can be selective and have distinctives because the group is based on biblical Christianity. The school cannot force you to create a group open to all people. Contact PJI.org if they try to, and if you want counsel on this matter in advance to prevent such an issue with school administration.
Both if you join a group and if you start a group have everyone fill out this survey form. For the group you start it can be written and data entered into the xls sheet or you can have an MS Access type program where new members fill out the details online and the system sorts according to the programming for you to find solid Christians, but also so you can find folk open to counseling, and open education and open to following what Scripture says if their views are not biblical. That doesnt mean befriend those ones as they might be agreeing to it just to be polite. But your club can have a pastor visit as a speaker on topics teens or college students need to be aware of and learn about as well as on essential and important secondary issues. You can also use the faq here on Christian topics and secondary topics for educating. If you are a female starting a group you are just a coordinator and the info you share or guest speakers come from Christian men so it is fine. You can discuss topics based on what you learned from those male preachers and teachers but your role is not over men there but are equally alongside them. As a coordinator instead of a leader you are simply running the group that way. If a solid very solid very godly man comes into the group who is leader material he can take the leadership position and you could be like a co leader or administrator to ensure the group stays on track and if he needs replacing. You will need to plan for handing the group over to a male before you graduate so there should be a voting policy created on requirements and also the persons willingness to lead the group with a male co- leader as a back up. So if anything happens or the leader bails out you have a replacement. And the co leader should have a solid alternate in mind while in his position to elect that man to his place if he himself moves up to leader.
Introduction Survey includes:
Find out what church they go to, what denomination it is, are their parents saved, when the student got saved, what saved them; what is the gospel in their words, and how often they go to church, are they doing studies in their church youth group, are they reading the Bible daily, (briefly) how has their life changed since they got saved and (briefly) how have they changed recently. And how far away they live. And if they consider any of these false religions or cults: circle them: Catholic, Orthodox, Mormon, JWs, 7th Day Adventist. If you are bold you will include a 2 choice answer related to lgbt. So you dont befriend the ones who openly embrace sin.
Pick the one you feel is most accurate to your actual personal beliefs.
1. They are people I would friend. I see nothing wrong with their lifestyle choice. Love is love, God loves everyone.
2. They are made in the image of God, are rejecting and rebelling against God's design, but are still to be treated politely, yet not befriended, and we should share the Gospel lovingly to them.
[*Number 2 is the correct answer.]
[*for false religions Q, all of the ones listed are].
Then have a members list on excel and use it on your phone (where they cant see you) during their stand up and introducion of themselves from the sheet info. M ark off the answers for each person on the columns cells. + means yes, x means no, and ^ means maaybe. Create two sections: male and female. Fill in both sets so you know about each person for general knowledge, but only look for friends among your birth gender.
Example
Then go through the list and figure out which ones are cults (and tbh any charismatic ones) and mark them a no. And avoid the wishy washy ones. Then find closest to true Christian who are living Christian. Then go to their church website (drop that link into the xls file cell) and find what their church teaches to make sure it is not a wonky or woke church. You want to ensure the church clearly shows they teach the Essentials, have a clear correct view of the Trinity (as your youth leader to help you determine that on any you arent sure of). Pick the ones in or closest to your denomination (example would be theres 200 kinds of Baptists and a SBC church is baptist but so are many churches that have non denomination names). Then ask your youth leader about certian denominations you are unaware of the differences, [and if any listed are pro lgbt and female pastor churches. You will pass on those]. Check out their facebook and soxial media accounts to get a real feel for what is important in their life [is it really Christ or other things. And how do they talk is it godly or worldly]. Then you have narrowed down the list to an solid or acceptable few whom you can befriend. They will be living godly and following the Lord. They won't be perfect, so be gracious and forgiving in the friendship. If you are in High School you will drift away from them once you are in college and the larger group from college you will drift away from once you graduate and get a job. But you will likely remain connected on facebook and at least reconnect on holidays by sending written or text greetings.
If you have a computer system do the above by member input then you can add much more information such as secondary, tertiary and adiaphora beliefs and views as well as hobbies and interests, foods they like, foods they dont like, cuisines they like, food allergies and etc. This can help you find friends way more compatible in faith but also help with areas of what topics should be given to educate and what to consider when it comes to food needs. Not preferences like glutin free but actual medically necessary like if they have ceiliac disease or are allergic to pepperoni because of paprika, or cilantro tastes like soap to them, or they need low sodium or low sugar foods.
Have a evangelism training policy that you only use biblical material, not modern wishy washy material, and that after getting tge training and can answer about 10 faq apologetically you go out together to share the gospel. The group should go out on specified days (depending on whether HS or college) such as every other Saturday, unless it is a members birthday or holiday. For birthdsys and born again birthdays you should try to have a party and invite unsaved people to it. Preferably at a park or a rental location unless the Christian club location works. It would be held after school either on the bday or on the Saturday before or after the bdsy [so you are with family on your bday]. And the purpose would be to celebrate but also to give your born again testimony as your bday speech. You could have 90s style Christian music playing at certian times as well. The person who is good at or wants to be considered to share the gospel near the end of the party should be asked to do so. This gives everyone a chance to stand up and share the gospel in front of people and grow in confidence. It also gives unsaved family and school students an opportunity to hear the gospel and get right with God. There will be members to speak to those aside who want to turn to God. For the ones in school theyll go to the clubs' Discipleship course & Essentials class, and get plugged into a church including transportation before becoming a full member. Food will be served later and after eating the gospel presentation happens. For anyone coming to Christ battling sins or were lgbt+ before today they need biblical counseling to eliminate the sin from their life. Focus on the Family has free professional counselors available so you can do or set up a conf call with the counselor. If the new believer wants you to be there with them and confidential about petsonal things there you can do that or the person assigned (who is same birth gender). This counseling can help them really conquer and turn from that sin.
As far as joining school Christian groups,
1. Even among the acceptable folk in the opposite sex group you should be cautious around them... so you arent causing them to sin in their thoughts. This includes how you dress, what you wear, how you behave around them. Have a platonic policy for yourself.
2. You need to be careful what you do within the club because you do not want to join hands with those in a religious cult or those who endorse the lgbt+ sex cult; you wouldnt go to anti abortion events or church events with them, nor go witnessing with them. If the group is not a Protestant Christian group you need to be cautious here. Just decline to atrend events with the group.
3. You do not even need to participate in that "Christian" group beyond finding friends and becoming friends. They'll see your point that there's too many people in this schools christian club that are not actually Christian, and that we can be friends, hang out and do Christian activities without the club. So exit from the club and just be friends. Invite the solid ones to your house regularly to firm a good bond, and watch Christian movies and evangelism content on youtube and on direct apps. Maybe even some sermons based on a topic or where you both are in your daily reading. Counsel each other in the Scriptures for life situations and pray for each other.
First add only the ones in your gender and if theres a few solid ones of the opposite sex then add them in a few months. But only when a parent is around and create a written policy for home fellowship, so repentance, forgiveness and restoration happen. So communication and counseling is part of any problems in the friendships, that no one in the group can date or flirt but only be platonic friends and no one can be left aline with the opposite sex. We are brothers and sisters in Christ and as friends only.
Those are good and helpful tips for you to find, make and keep good Christian friendships long term.
God bless
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