Homeschool and loneliness *
Q: I've really been struggling lately.
I’m homeschooled and have been since 6th grade, because public school was influencing me in the worst way possible.
My cousins were homeschooling, so I joined with them. I love my parents sacrificing so much to pay for the curriculum and making it work. However, I am now in 8th grade and next year I have the option to go back to public school, or stay where I’m at.
I'm really lost not sure what path to take.
I have grown so much in my faith, but also I’ve become really lonely since starting homeschool. 2-3 days a week we go to church but doesn’t seem to help much, and I’m afraid these lonely feelings have been leading towards depression, and feeling like I have nobody. I lay in bed, sad, most days. It’s really taken a toll on my mental health.
However, I’m learning way more than I ever did at public and the curriculum I’m doing is Christian based, and get to do a Bible study as part of my work.
I know public school is very worldly and would have to get up early, and lose afternoon time at home to homework. But I also have problems getting my work done even at homeschool. My parents work so when I’m doing home school I dont have anyone to help when I get stuck and so I cant get it all done. I feel so lost.
I get stressed about my future schooling, but did a Bible study online about "letting God handle the future", and I’ve become content with knowing I have time until a decision needs to be made. That being said, even thinking about it and knowing how many pros and cons are there for both i just don’t know what to think. I know my parents will be a big help, but I just feel lost and overall sad most of the time.
I feel alone and like I sit around doing nothing. I don’t play a sport, I don’t have many friends, and I don’t get out much, but who’s to say that will change at a new school?
My siblings are all in public school and are older, so if i go to school they’d provide a ride, until they graduate. Another reason beingpublic school might be ok is leading others to Christ, which I hope I’d be able to do. From that I know that I have potential to change people’s lives at a worldly school, but I’m just so unsure. Thoughts?
A:
There's a few things you can do. All of it does require you to have a good conversation with your parents.
Tbh homeschool is way better route esp w the giant extreme cesspool public school has become. There is no guarantee you will even make decent friends or any would accept you into friend circles already formed at public schools. Plus, you really would be influenced by those kids (it is worse today than you think). And if you left for homeschool because of their influence before... yiu might cave in and latch onto anyone if you are desperate to fit in or gain friends at any cost... the peer pressure is worse at a public school today. And not only do they push lgbt 247 there 😬, but soo many in public schools are embracing that sexual perversion lifestyle to get attention and approval. But you wouldnt want to embrace them or friend them because theyll work at getting you to embrace them affirm them and get you to compromise your faith or even try to get you to be one. Plus sexual assaults, secret videoing and other things are big issues in public school cesspools today. I would avoid it.
Plus, few if any kids who claim to be Christian in public school are real Christians (who hold to & live out what Scripture actually teaches). And teachers teach a worldly view and embrace worldy wicked views and those in the public school system, teacher and students, will influence you more than you influence them. You are under their influence of re-educating of you and that was a reason your parents stepped in to correct that so you started homeschooling. So the little "influencing" you think you might have or do there is just a drop of water in an ocean of filth. You could also be picked on, hated, bullied, ostracized and have no friends there either. Def not the ones you would benefit from having around you. I am not trying to discourage you from sharing Christ I am just saying those in the world including teachers can decieve, manipulate and subtly teach lies to twist truth and try to make you look bad because you are not a theologian nor well equipped in evangelism. Those things take time and teachers take advantage of you not being able to refute certain things, and similarly with the kids who follow a different religion [including atheism]. It would be rare for someone in your age range to be able to answer objections and speak well about truth and Scripture.
The extra time you have at home now when you feel lonely, *could* be refocused to read the Bible, study it deeper and learn evangelism/apologetics. And that can help you later even in your High School & College age (regardless where you are; at the mall, with the youth group, on a day trip, or at school). Perhaps God has blessed you with this extra time so you could benefit to do that.
For finding friends you have a few options.
I would ask to meet with your parents and let them know you are having concerns, feel lonely & sad, and are in need of help in finding some Christians your age to be friends with. Ask them to make it a priority even if it means:
* finding a new church where there are lots of young people your age (so you can find believers among them). [Tbh you can search in advance & ask the youth leader "who in the group does he feel are real Christians who are maturing and would likely be open to making new friends"]. You could have a welcome party at that youth group to introduce yourself right away and purposely mingle.
I know this school age is temporary and many friends fade away after you go to college or move away, but having a couple people (2-3) you can be around can be a good help. Today, because of social media, you can stay a little bit in contact after you move away, but everyone forms new friendships in college, and those typically fizzle away too once you move and get a job or get married. So you do need to find a way to be happy with yourself and your relationship with God when you are alone, because until you marry you will be alone apart from your connentions with family (incl. like your cousins).
But right now you really should address this with your parents, and they will help because they want you to do well and be well.
another option is to see if there is a:
*Christian homeschool co-op in your general area. Co-op is where you go to diff homeschool houses during the week and are taught by the parent on the lessons, and you mingle with kids from Christian homes who attend. They do day trips and other activities too.
*Church school
Some are small like with 10 students. Some kids will be welcoming and nice, but others won't because of various reasons or that they already have their friend group. So it is a gamble if you will even find any friends there.
* Christian School
Those who go to a Christian school, will find 75% the kids thetr aren't even Christian. A lot of parents force their kids to go to be influenced by Christian educators because the parents are Christian or believe in God, and know it has rules, policies and staff who live out a Christian worldview. So, many of the students there act the same as the kids in public school. Thee main difference at this kind of school is that they offer bible classes, kids have to adhere to the school policies on behavior, and the faculty are Christian and the school offer Christian worldview in what they teach and how they act. But finding a biblical Christian school in many towns and States is hard since there are now [sadly] too many false churches, with false teachers, holding false unbiblical beliefs, having a perverted worldview which embraces lgbt liflifestyles and enrolls lgbt confused kids. So unless it is a Christian school at your church, it will be hard to find a solid "Christian" school today.
*Christian Charter school.
Charter you go to school 2x a week and the other days you are at home doing your work.
>Most charter schools are *not* Christian.
Ask Your parents to join a few homeschooling or homeschooling co-op groups, or Christian schooling groups online to get ideas, support, ask for help finding such things in your area, and them doing this will support you better as "parents who communicate with you" better & more regularly, and help you through issues you are having.
If you decide it is best to stay home school or do the homeschool co-op route, or any decision really...make a plan to regularly communicate with your parents. It benefits you. It also helps build a stronger relationship with your parents, and helps you be more confident. That will also greatly benefit you in your high school or college years.
Have a weekly meeting with your parents, like on Monday evening after dinner, to get the week going well. Make an agenda of things to talk about:
> school work struggles
---how & where to get help on this [them or online video helps]
> personal talk
---loneliness issues
> life questions
---anything you are wanting to ask or talk about
> Bible clarity
-- issues you came across while reading or studying, and Q related to Christian living, or whatever.
>Prayer
-- pray together. Over all these things and for a good week.
Tuesday night your parents can pray, seek Scripture, seek advice from online parent groups, and by Wed night they can have a mid week meeting with you to discuss Mondays stuff.
You can provide feedback, thanks, praise report etc, on Thurs or Friday in a brief convo over dinner.
This is kind of how things are at a job and probably how things are done in college for group work. So it is a communication tool help. Consider implementing this in your personal family life, and your life will bloom and you will grow closer to your parents.
It is def a blessing to be able to homeschool, most do not get that great opportunity. Pray on it.
If you are at a co-op currently, who only meets on Monday at a church, but still don’t have any friend really due to the class hardly having any girls near your age...
Also below are some resources I hope help.
Praying for a good outcome. God bless.
Resources:
Believers Resources
Young people Resources
Evangelism and Apologetics
For your parents
Homeschool groups:
Parenting groups:
Parents Christian Resources:
