Had abortion, repented but feel awful
A: I hope this encourages you and brings you peace so you can put that past behind you and continue forward with Christ as the one who leads your life.
It is possible that you realized the seriousness of what you did, that you had murdered someone, instead of giving the children for adoption.
You realized that child's life had value, as humans are image bearers of our Creator. And that you took innocent babies lives.
You understood, 1 John 3:15-17 tells us: is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.
While it was what you wanted to do back then for varied reasons, you later regretted it and were so contrite over it >>you repented to God.
Scripture says Godly sorrow, with a contrite heart, brings forth repentance. It brings salvation and leaves no regret. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern.... 2 Cor. 7:10-11
The way you spoke about it shows it tormented you, but also that you fear God and have a serious understanding of what you did. That all together led to repentance.
I am hoping it was genuine repentance and getting right with God, not just worldly sorrow. I encourage you to go through the below resources on examining yourself and from suicidal to "peace with God in how you move forward in life", and helps to seek additional confidential counseling if you need it, to "ovecome this and live for the Lord". He just might use you to minister to women who are in your current situation and you can help bring them to salvation, tighten their walk with God, and also lead them to peace with it too, because Jesus cleanses and makes us right with God. God will definitely use it to bring you closer to him and in your daily life and walk with Him at the center of your life.
I want to encourage you to avoid Satan's schemes to try to accuse you and taunt you and tempt you towards suicide. Suicide is not the answer, but solid faith in Jesus is the answer. He is our peacemaker, peace bringer, restorer and healer. He brings an overabundance and overflowing well of forgiveness and peace.
God has plans for us, and work for us to do for him on this earth and it could be a million little things and a few big things, and you cannot let Satan try to stop you from all that God has planned for you. Satan cannot stop those plans anyway, because God is in control. And because God is, and you trust him... you can have peace in Christ. And know that no matter what you have done or gone through, as a redeemed one Jesus will hold your hand, the Holy Spirit will lead you in life, and God is always with you to live you and lead you on the righteous path, going forward.
"As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
Trust Him, rely on Him, cling to Him, live for Him and love Him 😊
If you need these below helps please use them, but I do hope the above brought you peace and you constantly remind yourself of those facts. Christ has freed you 🤗
Books and specific Resources
*In this Scripture-saturated devotional, pastor and biblical counselor Paul Tautges provides 90 meditations on your complete identity before God in Christ. You are a saint in good standing before God, yet you are simultaneously a sinner who must battle with your desires and a sufferer who undergoes hardship.
Related Resources
Video Study thru Gospel of John
Free audio of Gospel of John
Bible app with resources in verses
For those counseling post abortive women:
Biblical Counselors will likely go through this
Further counsel:
Let her know you are praying for her and walk her through the David/Uriah/Bathsheba and Saul/Paul Bible passages are helpful. These men committed heinous crimes/sins yet experienced God's grace, forgiveness, and mercy. Psalm 51 is also extremely helpful.
