Equally and Unequally yoked list*

Here are a list of things you need to have a serious understanding and serious grasp on when it comes to dating, courting and marrying. 

God has been clear that believers are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. If you ignore this you are in open rebellion against God and need to examine if you are even saved, because those who belong to Christ obey the Word; what God has commanded in Scripture. It is the guide book for the believers life on earth. If you openly disregard it for sinful selfish reasons it will break your fellowship with God, put you in a disciplinary state with Him, and wreck your faith and your life, especially when it comes to the one you pursue for a mate which is to be sought for marriage. 

A relationship and a marriage are much more than just finding someone to be with so you arent lonely, and so you have sex and to cuddle with and share a meal with or go to a movie with. If you have a very basic view of a relationship having a false perception like that, then you are nowhere near ready for a relationship nor for marriage. 

Here are a list of things you benefit and are blessed by when finding a spouse who is infact saved, born again and lives a godly life.

 

Integrity

A born again Christian has been converted by God into a new creation. Such a person will have and work towards living a life of integrity and becoming more and more a person of stronger integrity.  

• Be honest and truthful in all things. This means being truthful in your words, actions, and dealings with others. It also means being transparent and honest about your own shortcomings.
• Be fair and just in your dealings with others. This means treating everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of their race, religion, social status, or any other factor. It also means being honest and fair in your business dealings.
• Be kind and compassionate to others. This means putting the needs of others before your own and being willing to help those in need. It also means being forgiving and understanding towards others.
• Be humble and modest. This means not being arrogant or boastful about your accomplishments. It also means being willing to admit when you are wrong and to learn from your mistakes.
• Be obedient to God's commands. This means living your life in accordance with the teachings of the Bible. It also means following the example of Jesus Christ, who lived a life of integrity and selflessness.
• Be honest in your business dealings. Giving accurate information to customers and clients, and avoiding deceptive or misleading practices.
• Be truthful in your relationships. Being honest with your spouse, family, and friends about your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
• Be fair and just in your workplace. Treating all employees with respect and dignity, and following company policies and procedures fairly.
• Be kind and compassionate to others in need. This could involve volunteering your time to a charitable organization, or simply helping a neighbor in need.
• Be forgiving towards others who have wronged you. This does not mean that you have to forget what happened, but it does mean that you choose to let go of anger and avoid resentment and bitterness, choosing to love and be gracious towards others as Christ has been to you.

Financial matters

Being believers is very important because you also need to 

• Be honest and truthful in all your financial dealings. This means being honest about your income, expenses, and debts. It also means being truthful about your financial situation to lenders, investors, and other relevant parties.
• Be fair and just in your financial dealings with others. This means paying your bills on time and in full, and avoiding deceptive or misleading practices. It also means treating your employees fairly and paying them a fair wage if you are a boss.
• Be wise and prudent in your financial management. This means living within your means, budgeting carefully, and saving for the future. It also means making wise investment decisions. (This includes, Don't live beyond your means, Create a budget and stick to it, Save for the future, such as retirement or unexpected expenses.)
• It also means teaching your children properly about money, investing, spending, and all of those kinds of areas so they are prepared for life and saving and planning in advance even while they are a preteen or teen. 
• Be generous in your giving. This means giving a portion of your income to God and to others in need. It also means being willing to help those who are struggling financially.

This includes being a good steward of the money God has given you, to use wisely and for the Kingdom. To donate regularly to reputable ministries, also as help others in the church who are in need, and for emergency situations for those in the church, to help your family and others without expectation of being paid back, and without adding interest, doing it all as unto the Lord and for His glory. Not seeking attention to yourself for the good deeds done, but doing them because the Lord has given you the means in which to do so, and sometimes even to your financial sacrifice in order to help.  Both spouses being a person of integrity as well, and for both to not just spend willy nilly but mostly for the things you actually need, and rarely for "wants" or things that could be seen as selfish. 

Fidelity and Covenant 

Marriage is a covenant before God between a man and woman for life. You are looking at potentially 80 years of your entire life with this person. You need a Christian born again godly spouse so you can be sure that they are living a life where they are continually growing in holiness and love righteousness. If so you have a very low probability of them turning to sexual sins of any and every kind including actually committing physical adultery. They will constantly be ensuring they are not lusting after someone else, not allowing their thoughts to even gravitate that direction, and seeking the Word to renew their mind, refocus their thoughts, think and meditate on Scripture, and thank God for a godly spouse the treasure and blessing God has given you, to keep the marriage bed pure and to be faithful to you. 

Intimacy 

God has given a gift and a blessing to a man and woman when they get married. And while the couple becomes one in the marriage covenant... Private intimacy only between each other unites the two as one, is a blessing to each other and it brings emotional and physical closeness and creates a bond between each other, and in proper appropriate ways. 

Pray together. 

As Christians, we are called to pray for each other and for our relationships. When a Christian couple prays together, they are able to deepen their bond with each other and with God. They can also pray for their marriage and for their future together.

• Pray together regularly. This could be at the beginning or end of each day, or at another time that is convenient for both of you.
• Pray about specific requests. This could include things like your marriage, your family, your finances, your jobs, your health, and your spiritual growth.
• Pray for each other. Pray for your spouse's needs, desires, and dreams. Pray for them to grow in their faith and to be a blessing to others.
• Pray for your family and the many varied situations in your family and extended family. There are usually many many many prayers needed for everyone. 
• Pray for your church and your community. Pray for your pastor, the various Church leaders, and all of the other members of your church.  Pray for all the unsaved in your church to get saved, and those you suspect are false converts. Pray for those in your denomination, both pastors, church leaders, believers and the unsaved in those churches. Pray for those in false churches and in cults and under false teachings, and pray for those in the world who will be saved that they will find themselves in a biblical church and for those who are not in biblical churches to be reading the Word daily so that the Holy Spirit will lead them out of where they are and to find a biblical church. Also pray for all believers to grow in the faith by the Scriptures and be reading the Scriptures daily. 
• Pray for your bosses, your companies, your businesses, your coworkers, for your local leaders and government leaders locally, by state and nationally, as well as those in SCOTUS, Congress and the Presidency positions. 
• Prayers for all the unsaved people that you both know, and all the people God will bring into your path so you can bless them, and pray for their needs, and also for the purpose of meeting them to share the gospel with them and plant seeds to salvation.
• Pray for the world. Pray for peace, justice, and compassion. Pray for the end of suffering and for the salvation of souls.
• Prayers for many many other things. But that all prayers align with God's will and not our selfish self seeking desires and wishes, putting God and righteousness first. 

Study the Bible together. 

The Bible is  the authoritative guide and source of strength and comfort and counsel and direction given to us directly from God. It is very powerful and useful in the life of every believer and a great resource for Christian couples. It provides guidance on how to live a Christian life and how to build a strong marriage. When Christian couples study the Bible together, they are able to learn more about God and about each other. They can also grow in their faith together, they can correct their errors, learn, grow, love more, be patient more, be kind more, be gracious more, be merciful towards each other more, and to be forgiving always, avoiding anger, resentment, bitterness and selfishness, and becoming more of a servant to one another and becoming more like Christ. The husband will love the wife like the Lord loves the Church and the wife will love her husband more and more. There wont be much struggle, strife, arguments etc as both will seek the best for each other putting the other person first. 

• The Scriptures teach us about the importance of love in marriage. The Bible tells us that God is love (1 John 4:8), and that love is the greatest gift of all (1 Corinthians 13:13). When we love our spouses, we are putting their needs before our own and seeking their highest good. The Scriptures also teach us that love is patient, kind, and forgiving (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). These qualities are essential for a healthy and thriving marriage.
• The Scriptures teach us about the importance of respect in marriage. The Bible tells us to honor and respect our spouses (Ephesians 5:33). This means treating them with dignity and consideration, even when we disagree with them. It also means valuing their opinions and perspectives.
• The Scriptures teach us about the importance of forgiveness in marriage. Everyone makes mistakes, and marriage is no exception. When our spouses sin against us, the Bible teaches us to forgive them (Ephesians 4:32). Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is essential for a healthy marriage. When we forgive our spouses, we are releasing them from the burden of their guilt and shame. We are also opening the door to reconciliation and healing.
• The Scriptures teach us about the importance of serving one another in marriage. The Bible tells us to put others before ourselves and to serve one another in love (Galatians 5:13). When we serve our spouses, we are showing them that we love and care about them. We are also putting their needs before our own.
• The Scriptures teach us about the importance of spiritual growth in marriage. The Bible tells us to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18). When we are both growing in our faith, we are becoming more like Christ and more like each other. This can lead to a deeper and more fulfilling marriage.

Belong to a local Congregation and actively go there. 

The home is both a mini government, a church and a mini world within the family unit. The church is Heaven on Earth (as best as it is possible in this fallen world). The local church is where the bride, the body of Christ, the redeemed ones gather together as the family of God, as brethren to worship God, serve Him and other believers there. Not only will you currently be with the redeemed ones here on earth but also for eternity, and how wonderful it is for a believing married couple to experience this together in a relationship at a more intimate level when doing things together at the local congregation with the local church. It is a huge blessing to experience and talk and do things together both as a married couple and as parents raising children in the faith and working together with them as they grow older and into adulthood where you can do more together than you do as a married couple. This is so much different than a person would do as a single person, unmarried. 

Church is a important place for Christian couples to worship God, serve God and others, and to connect with other Christian brethren. When Christian couples attend church together, they are able to support each other in their faith and to grow in their relationship with God. Serve in the church together. Serving in the church is a great way for Christian couples to use their gifts and talents, and serve in the church together, they are able to bond over their shared love of God and pursue love and holiness together there, to pray for others and praise God along the way for all that He does and uses us to do to bless others and glorify Him. The list is very long and endless as to what we do and can do in the church that there is no room here to list it all. 

Raise their children in the Christian faith. 

When Christian couples raise their children in the Christian faith, they are able to teach them about God and about the importance of living a Christian life. They can also provide them with a role model of a healthy and loving Christian marriage. Support each other in their spiritual growth. As Christians, we are all on a journey of spiritual growth. When Christian couples support each other in their spiritual growth, they are able to help each other grow closer to God. They can also encourage each other to live a life that is pleasing to God.

Spiritual development

• Christian parents teach their children about God and His Word, and help them towards a relationship with Jesus Christ.
• Read the Bible with your children and discuss it together.
• Pray with your children regularly.
• Take your children to church and Sunday school and church activities
• Encourage your children to get involved in youth groups or other Christian activities.
• Model a godly life for your children by living in love, obedience to God, and service to others.
• Christian parents model a godly life for their children, showing them what it means to live in love, obedience to God, and service to others.
• Christian parents provide their children with opportunities to worship God, learn about the Bible, and connect with other Christians.

Emotional and social development

• Christian parents can provide their children with a loving and supportive home environment where they feel safe and loved.
• Christian parents can teach their children important values such as honesty, respect, kindness, and forgiveness.
• Christian parents teach important things to their children, that unsaved parents can't.
• Christian parents can help their children to develop healthy relationships with others, teaching right behaviors and correcting them. 

Children's Academic development
When educating your children you have three options today, 1. Private Christian School (at a school that aligns with your biblical beliefs or at your church school if there is one). 2. Homeschool Co-op with local Christian parents. 3.Homeschooling your children so they are raised up well in the care and guidance of godly parents so they understand truth and can spot errors and the false and worldy deceptions that abound everywhere. Home schooling children are 30% smarter and well rounded than those in publish schools. With today's public schools and unheard of cesspool of evil and wickedness and wicked brainwashing as well in sexual depravity and hateful rhetoric towards others, raising your children at home is of utmost importance to be caring for the children God has entrusted to you. Teaching them at home helps you guide them along the way in everyday conversations and situations and topics in a biblical and God focused way.

Children's Physical development

• Christian parents provide their children with a healthy diet and regular exercise and education in this area.

• Christian parents teach their children about the importance of good hygiene and safety.

• Christian parents help their children to develop healthy habits and to avoid risky behaviors.
• Parents can guide their children to understand from a young and even pre preteen years before and during puberty about self image, body image, and that their identity is in Christ not in their appearance nor does it come from how they might feel because emotions are deceptive and not based on objective factual truth. 

Preparing and training up your children in the faith.

• Constantly bring God and Jesus into every area, and every conversation and opportunity that you can so they are seeing things from a biblical worldview. Talk to your children about Christianity and encourage them to ask questions. Speak on topics they arent talking about in day to day life so that they are getting fed biblical information that they can store in their hearts and minds. 

• Christian parents can help their children understand the Scriptures, understand about life and the problems in the world and what God has done for us, so they can move towards salvation by putting their faith in Jesus Christ.
• Christian parents can have a time of daily devotionals, and prayer, and time in the Word and in memorizing verses and doing activities that direct the children to the Lord. 
• Educating Children in Christian way of living; teaching the Fruit of the Spirit, integrity, Character, Morals, Values and looking at things in a right biblical way, and even discussing stories in Scripture that teach on it. Also teaching important things such as manners, right behavior, avoiding bitterness, jealousy, anger, selfishness, etc. and modeling that behavior yourself, even in front of your children, and even resolving the problems between spouses when you blow it, your children will see you growing and striving to be more holy and more like God wants us to be.
• Christian parents can model as examples and take opportunities to serve others and share the faith with others so the children learn from their example and even how to handle rejection, and that you still care about the people even after the serving or witnessing ends and that you take time to pray for them, and discuss afterwards what was going on, what the child should understand about what topics were discussed, so they can have a well rounded grasp on what the issue is, what any misunderstanding was or what information the person refused to hear or accept that clearly answered the objection, or to further clarify something around the discussion so the children understand and grasp FAQ and the Christian faith well. So they wont have those difficulties as they become preteens and teens, and you can discuss this and other deeper things as they get older. 
• Christian parents offer growing levels of independence during the course of the child's life at home, and of course the consequences of making the wrong decisions. Christian biblical counseling and discussions can be beneficial when wrong choices are made, to help them grow and become more biblically minded and make wiser more biblical choices as they continue to grow both in faith and in maturity as a person. 
• Parenting doesnt end when they children leave home and marry. Parents are still godly guides for their children, and the children should seek out their parents for godly advice in any and all kinds of topics, while making the final decisions for themselves after thinking over, praying over and consulting the Scriptures after your discussions. They lead their own life independently after they move away, but they should be seeking your counsel and advice as godly parents whom they respect and have a close relationship with. 

Both parents are on the same page when discussing small matters, important matters, teaching morals and values, and disciplining. If the husband is not saved there is all sorts of worldly Satan influences influences that prevents you from raising your children well, you cannot "Train a child up in the Lord" if half of the parents and esp the husband who has the authority in the home is not a believer to be that model to the kids as head of the house and the spiritual leader of the home. It opens the kids up to desire lusting after the sinful pleasurable wickedness of their sin nature and follow their unsaved parents life instead of getting saved and living as a team. 

Christian parents have a unique opportunity to make a positive impact on their children's lives. By providing their children with a loving and supportive home environment, teaching them about God and His Word, and modeling a godly life, Christian parents can help their children in millions of important ways, and none of these things would happen in an unequally yoked relationship, it is impossible when both parents are not on the same page and their goals and worldviews are not aligned in any way shape or form.

Entertainment of a Christian couple

Christians and especially married couples have their life focus on Christ and living a righteous holy life. So they are particular in what they allow into their minds, ears and eyes and in what they participate in. They would Read Christian books and articles and discuss them. Listen to biblical Christian music together. Watch Christian movies and appropriate clean TV shows together. They do not participate in watching or going to entertainment that is worldly and has temptations that easily can subtly or outright draw them from the path of holiness into lustful and selfish and diversions that Satan uses to draw people away from Christ and the God focused mission they have on earth as believers. They died to their old self when they came to Christ and their life was radically transformed and their priorities totally changed. 

Grow in the Faith & Serve together. 

Besides Reading Scripture together and separately, discussing Scripture, meditating on and memorizing verses and Scripture individually and as a couple, they read Christian books and from sermons to grow in their faith and especially in ones regarding marriage and living as a couple. Their marriage is better off and constantly growing and becoming better day by day year by year because they are focused on Christ and becoming more holy and desire to always be in a right relationship with each other. There are other areas where they can grow in the faith together, and of course parenting children is a big area as well, but they can together Attend Christian conferences and retreats. Volunteer at Christian organizations together. Disciple each other. Mentor other Christian couples. Pray for each other's spiritual growth and Serve others together in the name of Christ.

These are just a few examples that Christians equally yoked do together, and it helps them constantly  deepen their relationship with each other and with God. They are a team and together their life is centered around Christ. 

 

There's a million more and varied things that bless your life and marriage, and your children (and your relationship to them as teens and adults) when you are equally yoked and live in Christ in partnership together with Him at the center of your life. 

The opposite of all those things is endless strife, disasters, endless tears, endless suffering. Do not get unequally yoked with an unbeliever, including false converts who present as believers. 

Relationships are serious business and have an important purpose in life. It is not something to take lightly at all, and something we need to think through seriously and with a life purpose and goal in mind in that relationship; it is one you will be in possibly for 80 years (if you both live that long).  

If we are saved, Scriptures says we died to self and it is no longer us who lives but Christ lives in and through us. Our life was bought by Christ and we are a living sacrifice, who is to live and serve Him. 

Ensuring someone is saved before you pursue a relationship. 

Make sure you are saved.