Overwhelm from return from lukewarm faith
Q: Overthinking & need godly advice
"I've been away from Christianity for a few years now, and I kept putting it off by telling myself "I have time, I need a break so I can come back to God on my own." But I ended up going too far away, sinking into lust and lies. But I've been feeling a strong pull to turn back to God and live by his rules. I've been trying, but my anxiety and overthinking keeps getting in my way. Am I doing enough? If I watch TV. is it a distraction even if I'm reading my Bible? (I can't focus unless I'm multitasking, so that's why I do that.) The Bible feels repetitive since l've been reading it since was young, but is it wrong to feel that way? God has blessed me with a house, but am I beind selfish by wanting to add more to it? Is it being greedy to stretch a dollar and thrift? I've told lies and I'm tryina to make amends, but is it wrona that I'm scared? When I do try to read more of the Bible, my eyes start to glaze over, and I feel incredibly guilty, but other tactics don't work either. I'm scared to go to church because of bad experiences, but is that a sin? I know God is coming back soon, so I'm trying to connect with God again, but does that mean I'm doing it for the wrong reasons? I want to connect faster, but am I rushing it? But I don't feel like I have anv time to take my connection with God slowly. I've cut myself off from lustful thoughts that had become an addiction. but is that enough?
All of these thoughts are constant and overwhelming, and I even feel guilty about being overwhelmed. God savs to not be anxious. but if 'm not anxious, it feels like I'm being careless even though I care. Need something more than just "pray about it", because l've prayed but even in prayer my thoughts remain overwhelming, and that's another thing I feel guilty about.
A: It is good you noticed your drift into lukewarmness & sin. What you noted that led you that way is called arrogance(1)and self righteousness thinking (going your way is right; when the heart decieves, and leads to sin). But also is good that God drew you back towards him.
God tells us to flee from judgment snd slso to be ready for His return. So thinking soberly on this now is important. The Gospel is a call to flee the judgment coming against sinners, and fir believers to be living holy lives so we are nit ashamed at his coming nor found as unfaithful servants.
Scripture is where God communicates with us. He tells us about himself, it draws us closer to him but also tells us deeply more about Him. It guides us in holy living too, and presents the Gospel not just that it calls us to surrender to and obey it, but to "live it out" too. One can spend a lifetime studying it and not reach its depths. Since the Reformers courageously fought and worked hard to get the Bible to us in print and in our language, by their persecution & blood shed for it...and that God gave it to us - we should be reading it daily. Letting it renew our minds, and another benefit is preventing sin; the closer to it we are the more sensitive to sin and not taking its path we are. But not being in it can lead us trom holy pursuit into sin, and being in its pages and in communion with God is where we should be. If we love Him we should be deep diving into it and being close to the one we love. Having our own and access to it is something those pre Reformation era could only dream of possessing. Lets not neglect it.
As to anxiety it is related to sin; not trusting God. Worry and anxiety are tied to sin. If we say we have faith in God then we need to trust him who me placed our trust in at salvation.
The closer you get to God, returning, the more you will understand these truths. Im not saying you arent saved, though you can examine yourself on that. Many have a faith that isnt really saving faith so do confirm that. But there is an anxiety related to what youre saying and you just need to strengthen your faith. I saw 3 things today on this very topic.
1. This addresses that early on somewhere. I saw it today *This addresses Anxiety & Faith
2. This deals with Anxiety broadly.
3. This helps you examine your faith.
As far as church - you absolutely need to be there. It is the community of thr redeemed, fellow brethren. The family of God this side of eternity. Not just equally yoked and in Christ, but help guide you into holy living and educate vou in the teachings and deeper things ot Scripture that together we learn and discuss, plus pastoral counseling when needed. Comfort, encouragement of believers and life help ; brethren ate in your life- not just for an he on Sunday Theyre in your life.
Scripture is clear that Jesus is the Head and we are the bodv. Whether in temple or synagoques in OT we are to be in congregation together wuth local believers in the church; worshiping and serving Him together, and one another and being understood the authority of the shepherds who lovingly guide us into truth and holy living. It is not optional.
UItimatelv we are in the local church and of the Church -- focus is on God others can fail us cuz theyre imperfect and at diff places in their walk, or false converts. But we are called to he together. God uses those troubled situations to draw closer to Himself to sanctify us by growing us, and helping us grow in the Fruit of the Spirit. Helping us love others regardless of their behavior, showing grace, forgiveness etc. Just as we want others to towards us when we stumble in sin too.
You can find a trustworthy bible focused one here, to join and be active at.
Action needs to follow prayer, so you are right to not just pray. God isnt s genie to grant wishes but to lead us to follow and submit to his will. As far as worrying about what you have and spending, just do your best to be a good stewardship of what God has given you. It is ok to treat yourself sometimes. Paul said he learned to live with times of little and a lot. Abraham was wealthy, as was Lydia and others. Jesus had nothing, John the Baptist and Elijah too, even the old woman with only a little flour. Trust God to provide, dont waste it. Give to God & bless believers and needy in your church, as you also care for yourself and your household.
For other questions and life guidance, contact your pastor for brief counsel (set up a meeting for when he has time). Deal with urgent things first, and the rest as he snd your Sunday School snd womens fellowship group have time to guide you.
Avoid overwhelm by putting your trust in God's guiding you, and providing for your needs.
God bless
Footnotes:
(1). Arrogance meaning- in thinking you will have tomorrow, when what needs to be dealt with today must needs to, actively, as only God holds your lifetime in his hands.
Hope that helps.
Ps. You can listen as you read Scripture daily.
Here's resources on that and great tips and ideas around Bible time.
Lots of other useful resources for growing believers can be found here as well. *Bookmark the page you are on now so you can find/continue to access all these diff resources.
