Angry at God for miscarriages, jealous trans friends having babies & and about suffering
Q: I have been having an extremely difficult time mentally and religiously. I had never really been religious at all but last year… I started trying to find my way to God. I went to church, I prayed, I read the Bible.
I was trying SO hard. There was a point in all of that where I felt like I was extremely happy with where I was in my religion. I even took a friend to church with me (not religious at all) because they were having a hard time and I wanted them to experience what I had experienced. (They said they liked it but never went back).
I had always had a hard time with religion because I’ve struggled with infertility for multiple years, now. I was putting that in Gods hands, as well. Gods plan. It was all amazing until November. I had a mental breakdown. I started having nightmares and visions of me doing horrible things. December hit, that same friend I took to church with me announced their pregnancy. They are transgender and were only 17 at the time so I, of course, was confused and angry. They told me that they felt the baby was a gift from God and that God knew they needed their baby. So, my anger was placed on God. The fiancé had told me about two years ago "hoped" I miscarried my first pregnancy. In January, I found out I was pregnant and had an early miscarriage. That made things significantly worse. I have found myself slipping away from God more and more. I’m beyond angry at Him.
So, my question… how do I move out of this feeling and will He still accept me when I find my way back? I need guidance please.
A: It sounds like you are young?
Are you married, & to a godly man? If not that's a problem. We are not to do things in sin, in rebellion to God, outside his design [sex, in this case/babies]. Young folk try and force their ways and wants. But instead we need to submit to God and his perfect timing for all things. ✨️
Young folk often have misplaced pie in the sky ideas of love and babies and relationships that aren't based in reality and God's ways. They try to rush things and it goes wrong in many ways, including abandonment by the baby father or in divorce and devastation. Don't go that route.
It is good to feel the need for God in your life, but make sure it's not idolatrous; making up a god you prefer. "Religion" isnt the answer. Many go to church but aren't right with God. Make sure you come to God/Christianity for the right reason, and by the way God has provided. This will help clarify, briefly.
Then surround yourself with godly Christians who hold to the authority of and truth of Scripture, as your friends, mentors and teachers. These should be within a local Bible focused, God focused church.
As to the problems you encountered, and encounter... life is how it is due to the Fall. There is endless suffering, struggle, pain, loss and death in this life. Sin was the cause. And it continues to be still. It won't end until believers enter etetnity; when Jesus calls them home one by one (when their work here is done) or at the Rapture (at the end). Believers have additional struggles and suffering due to fighting sin and persecution we recieve. Yet we trust God and persevere knowing He is with us.
God has a plan for each of our lives, and guides the believer as he sanctified and matures us in the faith.
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As to the trans folk you know, people live in sin and think things are a blessing, but it's not. God doesnt bless those living in sin [unsaved]. Babies are just a natural consequences of sexual sin, or natural design of the womb to house/produce babies, even if by ivf. People live delusional in idolatry and sin so they can keep doing what their sin nature drives them towards, instead of turning to God and living in righteousness. They simply continually do what their sin nature drives them towards; wickedness. Unless God's grace in Christ by the Gospel through the Holy Spirit intervenes & converts them.
That child might grow up to be saved and in turn reach them for Christ, but the child is missing out on and will suffer for not having a mom and dad as God designed and desires for us. One persons sin decision greatly affects others too.
Don't worry about them for now. Put that friendship/connection on pause, and wuth any other lgbt+ folk you know so you can focus on God and pursue studying Scriptures to live a holy life, following Jesus. Latervon after you mature in the Faith (& can answer questions on lgbt issues from Scripture & can share the Gospel well, then you can circle back to them out of Christian love, and dhare the Gospel). For now, you need to be around the people of God for a few years and in Scripture. God sets us apart from those in the world, to educate and teach us, instructing us in righteousness so we can live holy and follow Jesus.
God calls us to love others, so 😊 do Pray for them. And that perhaps before you even get a chance to reach out to them (later on) with the Gospel, that God already used someone else to do that, and you can rejoice that they turned from sins and are living saved lives.
There is still hope until they die. I know of 90, 102 and even a 107 year old who got saved. God is gracious and greatly to be praised! His patience is long, and he saves all whom Jesus bought as their Redeemer. So don't stress about them. Put on the Lord first, study the Word, and then go help others. Just as in a airplane situation going down you put your mask on first, follow the instructions, and then can help others.
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We cannot be angry at God (who is being unjustly judged here) due to our own sin choices and our misunderstandings. We should be angry at ourselves and our sin, seeing it as the wretched wickedness it is, and fall flat at God's feet in humble contrition, asking Him to forgive & save us...and give us a right mind, and to teach and reveal truth to us as we read Scripture, ...and trust Him & impliment what we learn.
If you are around 16 to 20 this also can help with a lot of faq. It also provides info about suffering, which would be good to go thru. Unfortunately many churches don't do any good job today explaining these things.
Also here is a free & good resource for new & growing believers. It can help you as you begin your journey with God, helping save yourself some pain, helping you get off to a good start in the Faith.💪😊✨️✝️
God bless
