Failed Friendships
Q: My friend keep on hurting me; the backstabbing, betrayal, hurt and disappointment that I repeatedly get from her. The emotional unavailability, the lack of support as a friend is so poor. During our friendship there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her, I liked her so much. I think I have anxious attachment because when I reflect to our friendship I think it has always been one sided, it just me who’s falling to let go of her. Advice?
A: Here is the best advice I can give you right now. I hope it helps you.
1. We need friends from in our local congregation. Folk in the world will never be ones to befriend since theyre led by Satan.
2. Of those who are in the church, many are false converts. You cant assume theyre Christian just because theyre in a church. The church has fallen since 1989-1999 when it opened the doors of the church to the world. Scripture also is clear in the Parables.
But of those in the church who are saved... theyll mess up too because theyre growing in holiness and removing sin in the sanctification walk, just as you are (if saved too). Forgiveness and love is a key theme in Scripture. So a gracious, loving and forgiving spirit is where we need to be in mindset and heart.
3. Be cautious what you confide in others about. 99% of the time those are best kept between you and God in prayer, and as you consult God via the Word to get help/guidance. Ofc you can speak to a biblical counselor as well for addl professional help, who will redirect you to Scripture.
4. People who backstab, betray and purposefully gossip and hurt you are likely not saved, and are not folk to share your precious temporary short time on earth with. Find solid sisters in your congregation who are mature in the faith. If you are not in a church or not active in a local congregation... that is what you need to do next, right now.
These resources can also help:
Several issues you mentioned have good counsel here from anxiety to bitterness, to forgiveness and letting go, to finding a counselor.
This will also help on forgiveness and love
This will help you as you grow as a believer
